How to achieve greater sexual harmony in your marriage



This part of spousal love must be cultivated, just like a life of prayer.

Despite the message our society sends, our sexual lives leave a lot to be desired. "It is natural for a couple to encounter problems in this area, as in any other, but it would be wrong to tolerate them," says Nathalie Loevenbruck, marriage counselor specializing in Christian couples. “Of course, there are times when partners have more difficulty adjusting their rhythm and desires. But sex has to be taken very seriously, ”he says.

The union between two spouses embodies a much deeper communion than words. Renouncing sexuality, instead of solving the problem together, will distance the two partners and contradict their vocation to become "one flesh" (Mk 10: 8). The lack of affection and intimacy will have to be compensated elsewhere. Apart from adultery, infidelity can manifest itself by working late, investing excessively in social activism or even with addictions. But not everyone can immediately achieve this intimacy together. The sexual life of a couple is an investment that requires both skill and desire. Sexuality must be constantly cultivated and refined like the life of prayer.



Problems that make the heart suffer

Loevenbruck strongly insists on the importance of an honest and delicate approach to listening to each other and identifying problems. Lack of interest can have several emotional and psychological causes: lack of self-esteem, wrong notions of sexuality, childhood trauma, health problems, etc. If nothing works, there are always other ways to show love and tenderness. We shouldn't give up.



“Because we Christians have the great opportunity to know the One who accompanies us on the path to [freedom], says Loevenbruck, indicating a large body of works of the Catholic Church. There are, for example, the writings of St. John Paul II, which have helped to remove the inhibitions of generations of worshipers, suspicious of all "sexual" things.

When everything fails, Loevenbruck asks the spouses to consider how the difficulties they face make them suffer. This allows them to develop and express compassion for each other. "Humbly recognizing problems and loving each other despite them is progressing towards the joyful kind of love consisting of patience, sacrifice and acceptance," he says. It is a humble gesture of abandonment. But it is strengthened by growing trust in others and in God, which can help achieve sexual harmony.