Practical Christian advice when a loved one is dying

What do you say to someone you love most when you learn that he has only a few days to live? Do you continue to pray for healing and avoid the theme of death? After all, you don't want your loved one to stop fighting for life and you know that God is definitely capable of healing.

Do you mention the word "D"? What if they don't want to talk about it? I struggled with all these thoughts as I watched my beloved father become weaker.

The doctor had informed me and my mother that my father had only a day or two left to live. He looked so old that he was lying there in the hospital bed. He had been silent and still for two days. The only sign of life he gave was an occasional hand shake.

I loved that old man and I didn't want to lose him. But I knew we had to tell him what we had learned. It was time to talk about death and eternity. It was the subject of all our minds.

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I let my father know what the doctor had told us, that there was nothing else to do. He was standing on the river which leads to eternal life. My father was worried that his insurance wouldn't cover all hospital expenses. He was worried about my mom. I assured him that everything was fine and that we loved mom and that we would take care of her. With tears in my eyes, I let him know that the only problem was how much we would be missing.

My father had fought the good fight of faith, and was now returning home to be with his Savior. I said, "Dad, you taught me so much, but now you can show me how to die." Then he squeezed my hand tightly and incredibly began to smile. His joy overflowed and so did mine. I did not realize that his vital signs were rapidly decreasing. In seconds my father was gone. I saw it being inaugurated in paradise.

Uncomfortable but necessary words
Now I find it easier to use the word "D". I suppose the sting has been removed from it for me. I have spoken to friends who wish to go back in time and converse differently with those who have lost.

We often don't want to face death. It is difficult and even Jesus wept. However, when we accept and recognize that death is near and probable, we are therefore able to express our hearts. We can talk about paradise and have a close friendship with your loved one. We can also find out the right words to say goodbye.

The time to say goodbye is important. This is how we let go and entrust our loved one to the care of God. It is one of the most powerful expressions of our faith. God helps us find peace with the reality of our loss rather than anguish about it. The words of separation help bring about closure and healing.

And how wonderful when Christians realize that we have these deep and hopeful words to comfort us: "Until we meet again".

The words to say goodbye
Here are some practical points to keep in mind when a loved one is about to die:

Most patients know when they are dying. Massachusetts hospice nurse Maggie Callanan said, “When those in the room don't talk about it, it's like a pink hippo in a tutu that everyone is walking around ignoring. The person who is dying begins to wonder if no one else understands it. This alone adds stress: they have to think about the needs of others instead of facing their own ".
Make the most of your visits, but be as sensitive as possible to the needs of your loved one. You may want to sing them a favorite hymn, read them from the scriptures, or simply chat about things you know they appreciate. Don't put it off by saying goodbye. This could become one of the main sources of regret.

Sometimes a goodbye can invite a relaxation response. Your loved one may be awaiting your permission to die. However, the final breath could be hours or even days later. Often the act of saying goodbye can be repeated several times.
Take the opportunity to express your love and offer forgiveness if necessary. Let your loved one know how deeply you will miss him. If possible, look them in the eyes, hold your hand, stand close and even whisper in the ear. Although a dying person may seem unresponsive, they are often able to hear you.