What constitutes a marriage in the eyes of God?
It is not unusual for believers to have questions about marriage: is a marriage ceremony required or is it just a man-made tradition? Do people have to be legally married to be married in the eyes of God? How does the Bible define marriage?
3 positions on biblical marriage
There are three common beliefs about what constitutes a marriage in the eyes of God:
The couple is married in the eyes of God when physical union is consumed through sexual intercourse.
The couple is married in the eyes of God when the couple is legally married.
The couple marries in the eyes of God after attending a formal religious wedding ceremony.
The Bible defines marriage as an alliance
God sketched out his original plan for marriage in Genesis 2:24 when a man (Adam) and a woman (Eve) joined together to become one flesh:
Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and become attached to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24, ESV)
In Malachi 2:14, marriage is described as a holy covenant before God. In Jewish custom, God's people signed a written agreement at the time of marriage to seal the covenant. The wedding ceremony, therefore, is intended to be a public demonstration of a couple's commitment to an alliance relationship. The "ceremony" is not important; it is the commitment of the covenant of the couple before God and men.
It is interesting to consider carefully the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony and the "Ketubah" or marriage contract, which is read in the original Aramaic language. The husband accepts some marital responsibilities, such as providing food, shelter and clothes for his wife, and promises to take care of his emotional needs as well.
This contract is so important that the wedding ceremony is not complete until the groom signs it and presents it to the bride. This shows that both husband and wife see marriage as more than just a physical and emotional union, but also as a moral and legal commitment.
Ketubah is also signed by two witnesses and considered a legally binding agreement. Jewish couples are prohibited from living together without this document. For Jews, the marriage covenant symbolically represents the covenant between God and his people, Israel.
For Christians, marriage goes even beyond the earthly covenant, as a divine image of the relationship between Christ and his Bride, the Church. It is a spiritual representation of our relationship with God.
The Bible does not provide specific guidance on a marriage ceremony, but does mention weddings in several places. Jesus attended a marriage in John 2. Weddings were a consolidated tradition in Jewish history and biblical times.
Scripture is clear that marriage is a holy and divinely established covenant. Our obligation to honor and obey the laws of our earthly governments, which are also divinely established authorities, is equally clear.
Common law marriage is not in the Bible
When Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, he revealed something significant that we often miss in this passage. In verses 17-18, Jesus said to the woman:
"You rightly said:" I have no husband ", because you have had five husbands, and what you have now is not your husband; you really said that. "
The woman had hidden the fact that the man she lived with was not her husband. According to the notes of the New Bible commentary on this passage from the scriptures, common-law marriage had no religious backing in the Jewish faith. Living with a person in sexual union was not a "husband and wife" relationship. Jesus made this clear.
Therefore, position number one (the couple is married in the eyes of God when physical union is consumed through sexual intercourse) has no basis in Scripture.
Romans 13: 1-2 is one of several passages of Scripture that refers to the importance of believers who honor government authority in general:
“Everyone must submit to government authorities, since there is no authority other than that which God has established. Existing authorities have been established by God. Consequently, those who rebel against authority rebel against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment upon themselves. " (NIV)
These verses give position number two (the couple is married in the eyes of God when the couple is legally married) stronger biblical support.
The problem, however, with a legal process only is that some governments require couples to go against God's laws to be legally married. Additionally, there have been many marriages that have taken place in history before government laws were established for the marriage. Even today, some countries do not have legal requirements for marriage.
Therefore, the most reliable position for a Christian couple would be to submit to government authority and recognize the laws of the country, provided that authority does not require them to break one of the laws of God.
The blessing of obedience
Here are some justifications provided by people for saying that marriage should not be requested:
"If we get married, we will lose financial benefits."
“I have bad credit. Getting married will ruin my spouse's credit. "
“A piece of paper won't make any difference. It is our love and mutual private commitment that matters. "
We can find hundreds of excuses for not obeying God, but a life of surrender requires a heart of obedience to our Lord. But, and here's the nice part, the Lord always blesses obedience:
"You will experience all these blessings if you obey the Lord your God." (Deuteronomy 28: 2, NLT)
Going out in faith requires trust in the Master as we follow his will. Nothing that we renounce for the sake of obedience will be comparable to blessings and the joy of obeying.
Christian marriage honors God above all else
As Christians, it is important to focus on the purpose of marriage. The biblical example encourages believers to enter into marriage in a way that honors the relationship of God's covenant, submits first to the laws of God and then to the laws of the country, and gives a public demonstration of the holy commitment being made.