What Buddhism teaches about anger

Anger. Anger. Fury. Anger. Whatever you call it, it happens to all of us, including Buddhists. As much as we appreciate loving kindness, we Buddhists are still human beings and sometimes we get angry. What does Buddhism teach about anger?

Anger (including all forms of aversion) is one of three poisons - the other two are greed (including attachment and attachment) and ignorance - which are the primary causes of the samsara cycle and rebirth. Cleansing of anger is essential for Buddhist practice. Furthermore, there is no "right" or "justifiable" anger in Buddhism. All anger is an obstacle to realization.

The only exception to seeing anger as an obstacle to realization is found in the extreme mystical branches of tantric Buddhism, where anger and other passions are used as energy to fuel enlightenment; or in the practice of Dzogchen or Mahamudra, where all these passions are seen as empty manifestations of the brightness of the mind. However, these are difficult esoteric disciplines that are not where most of us practice.
Yet despite the recognition that anger is an obstacle, even highly accomplished masters admit that they sometimes get angry. This means that for many of us, getting angry is not a realistic option. We will be angry. So what do we do with our anger?

First of all, admit that you are angry
It may sound silly, but how many times have you met someone who was clearly angry, but who insisted it wasn't? For some reason, some people resist admitting that they are angry. This is not skillful. You can't deal with something very well that you won't admit is there.

Buddhism teaches awareness. Being aware of ourselves is part of this. When an unpleasant emotion or thought arises, do not repress it, run away from it or deny it. Instead, observe it and fully recognize it. Being deeply honest with yourself about yourself is essential for Buddhism.

What makes you angry?
It is important to understand that anger is very often (the Buddha could always say) created entirely by you. It didn't come out of the ether to infect you. We tend to think that anger is caused by something outside of us, like other people or frustrating events. But my first Zen teacher used to say, “Nobody makes you angry. You get angry. "

Buddhism teaches us that anger, like all mental states, is created by the mind. However, when you are dealing with your anger, you should be more specific. Anger challenges us to look deeply into ourselves. Most of the time, anger is self-defense. It comes from unresolved fears or when our ego buttons are pressed. Anger is practically always an attempt to defend a self that is not literally "real" to begin with.

As Buddhists, we recognize that the ego, fear and anger are unsubstantial and ephemeral, not "real". They are simply mental states, as such they are ghosts, in a sense. Allowing anger to control our actions is equivalent to being dominated by ghosts.

Anger is self-indulgent
Anger is unpleasant but seductive. In this interview with Bill Moyer, Pema Chodron states that anger has a hook. "There is something delightful about finding a flaw in something," he said. Especially when our egos are involved (which is almost always the case), we can protect our anger. We justify it and even feed it. ”

Buddhism teaches that anger is never justified, however. Our practice is to cultivate metta, a loving kindness to all beings that is free from selfish attachment. "All beings" includes the guy who just cut you off the exit ramp, the colleague who takes credit for your ideas and even someone close and trusted who cheats on you.

For this reason, when we get angry, we must be very careful not to act on our anger to hurt others. We must also be careful not to cling to our anger and give it a place to live and grow. Ultimately, anger is unpleasant for ourselves and our best solution is to give it up.

How to let it go
You recognized your anger and examined yourself to understand what caused the anger. Yet you are still angry. What's next?

Pema Chodron advises patience. Patience means waiting to act or speak until it cannot be done without causing harm.

"Patience has a quality of enormous honesty," he said. "It also has a quality of not intensifying things, leaving a lot of room for the other person to speak, for the other person to express themselves, while you don't react, even if you are reacting inside yourself."
If you have a meditation practice, this is the time to put it to work. Stand still with the heat and tension of anger. Calm internal chatter of other blame and self-blame. Recognize anger and enter it completely. Embrace your anger with patience and compassion for all beings, including yourself. Like all mental states, anger is temporary and eventually vanishes on its own. Paradoxically, the inability to recognize anger often fuels its continued existence.

Don't feed the anger
It is difficult not to act, to remain still and silent while our emotions scream at us. Anger fills us with cutting energy and makes us want to do something. Pop psychology tells us to beat our fists in the pillows or to scream at the walls to "train" our anger. Thich Nhat Hanh disagrees:

"When you express your anger you think you are bringing anger out of your system, but that's not true," he said. "When you express your anger, verbally or with physical violence, you are feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you." Only understanding and compassion can neutralize anger.
Compassion takes courage
Sometimes we confuse aggression with strength and non-action with weakness. Buddhism teaches that the opposite is true.

Surrendering the impulses of anger, allowing anger to hook us up and shake us, is a weakness. On the other hand, it takes strength to recognize the fear and selfishness in which our anger is usually rooted. It also takes discipline to meditate on the flames of anger.

The Buddha said, “Conquer anger with non-anger. Conquer evil with good. Conquer misery with liberality. Conquer a liar with the truth. ”(Dhammapada, v. 233) Working with ourselves and others and our life in this way is Buddhism. Buddhism is not a belief system, or a ritual, or some label to put on a shirt. And this .