Bible devotions: loneliness, toothache of the soul

Loneliness is one of life's most miserable experiences. Everyone sometimes feels lonely, but is there a message for us in solitude? Is there a way to turn it into something positive?

The gift of God in solitude
“Loneliness is not ... an evil sent to rob us of the joys of life. Loneliness, loss, pain, pain, these are disciplines, the gifts of God to guide us to his own heart, to increase our capacity for him, to hone our sensibilities and understanding, to temper our spiritual lives so that they can become channels of his mercy to others and thus bear fruit for his kingdom. But these disciplines must be exploited and used, not opposed. They should not be seen as excuses for living in the shadow of half-lives, but as messengers, however painful, for bringing our souls into vital contact with the living God, so that our lives can be filled with overflowing with himself in ways that they may, perhaps, be impossible for those who know less than the darkness of life. "
-Anonymous [see source below]

The Christian cure for solitude
Sometimes loneliness is a temporary condition that starts in a few hours or a few days. But when you are burdened with this emotion for weeks, months or even years, your loneliness is definitely saying something to you.

In a sense, loneliness is like a toothache: it is a warning sign that something is wrong. And like a toothache, if left unattended, it usually gets worse. Your first response to loneliness could be self-medication: try home remedies to make it disappear.

Keeping busy is a common treatment
You might think that if you fill your life with so many activities that you don't have time to think about your loneliness, you will be healed. But keeping busy is missing the message. It's like trying to cure a toothache by taking his mind off. Keeping busy is just a distraction, not a cure.

Shopping is another favorite therapy
Maybe if you buy something new, if you "reward" yourself, you will feel better. And surprisingly, you feel better, but only for a short time. Buying things to repair loneliness is like an anesthetic. Sooner or later the crippling effect wears off. So the pain returns stronger than ever. Buying can also aggravate your problems with a mountain of credit card debt.

Sleep is a third answer
You can believe that intimacy is what you need, so make an unwise choice with sex. Like the prodigal son, after you return to yourself, you are horrified to find that this attempt to cure not only worsens loneliness, but also makes you feel desperate and cheap. This is the false cure of our modern culture, which promotes sex as a game or recreation. This response to loneliness always ends with feelings of alienation and regret.

The real cure for loneliness
If all these approaches don't work, what does it do? Is there a cure for loneliness? Is there any secret elixir that will solve this soul toothache?

We must start with a correct interpretation of this warning sign. Loneliness is God's way of telling you that you have a relationship problem. While this may seem obvious, there is more than just surrounding yourself with people. Doing this amounts to keeping busy, but using crowds instead of activities.

God's response to loneliness is not the quantity of your relationships, but the quality.

Returning to the Old Testament, we discover that the first four of the Ten Commandments concern our relationship with God. The last six commandments concern our relationships with other people.

How is your relationship with God? Is it close and intimate, like that of a loving and caring father and his son? Or is your relationship with God cold and distant, only superficial?

When you reconnect with God and your prayers become more conversational and less formal, you will truly feel the presence of God. His reassurance is not just your imagination. We worship a God who lives among his people through the Holy Spirit. Loneliness is the way of God, first of all, to draw closer to him, then forcing us to reach out to others.

For many of us, improving our relationships with others and letting them get close to us is an unpleasant cure, as much feared as taking a toothache to a dentist. But satisfying and meaningful relationships take time and work. We are afraid to open up. We are afraid to let another person open up to us.

The past pain has made us wary
Friendship requires giving, but it also requires taking, and many of us prefer to be independent. Yet the persistence of your loneliness should tell you that not even your past stubbornness has worked.

If you gather the courage to reestablish your relationship with God, then with others, you will find your solitude raised. This is not a spiritual patch, but a real cure that works.

Your risks to others will be rewarded. You will find someone who understands and takes care of you and you will also find others who understand and interest you. Like a visit to the dentist, this treatment proves to be not only definitive but much less painful than I feared.