God created each of us for a purpose: have you discovered your calling?

God created you and me for a purpose. Our destiny is not based on our talents, skills, abilities, gifts, education, wealth or health, although these can be useful. God's plan for our life is based on God's grace and our response to him. All we have is a gift from God. What we are is a gift to him.

Ephesians 1:12 states that "we who first hoped in Christ were destined and appointed to live for the praise of his glory." God's plan is for our lives to bring him glory. He chose us, in love, to be a living reflection of him. Part of our response to him is our vocation, a particular way of service that allows us to grow in holiness and become more like him.

St. Josemaría Escrivá often answered questions from the audience after a conference. When asked about someone's vocation, St. Josemaría asked if the person was married. If so, he asked for the spouse's name. Her answer would then be something like: "Gabriel, you have a divine calling and she has a name: Sarah."

The vocation to marriage is not a general call but a particular call to marriage with a specific person. The bridegroom becomes an integral part of the other's path towards holiness.

Sometimes people have a limited understanding of vocation, using the term only for people called to the priesthood or religious life. But God calls all of us to holiness, and the path to that holiness includes a particular vocation. For some, the path is single or consecrated life; for many more it is marriage.

In marriage, there are many opportunities every single day to deny ourselves, to take up our cross and follow the Lord in holiness. God does not neglect married people! I've had days where dinner is late, a child is irritable, the phone rings and rings, and Scott comes home late. My mind may wander to a scene of nuns praying peacefully in the convent, waiting for the dinner bell to ring. Oh, be a nun for a day!

I am overwhelmed, taken by how demanding my vocation is. Then I realize that it is no more demanding than any other vocation. It's just more challenging for me, because that's God's call in my life. (Since then, numerous nuns have reassured me that convents are not always the peaceful bliss I imagine.)

Marriage is God's way of refining me and calling me to holiness; marriage to me is God's way of refining us. We told our children: “You can pursue any vocation: consecrated, single or married; we will support you in any call. But what is not negotiable is that you know the Lord, love him and serve him with all your heart “.

Once two seminarians were visiting and one of our children walked around the room with a full diaper - the smell was unmistakable. One seminarian turned to the other and jokingly said: "I'm sure I'm happy to be called to the priesthood!"

I immediately replied (with a smile): “Just make sure you don't choose one vocation to avoid the challenges of the other”.

That pinch of wisdom applies both ways: one should not choose the vocation of marriage to avoid the challenges of the consecrated life as a single, nor the consecrated life to avoid the challenges of marriage. God created each of us for a particular vocation and there will be great joy in doing what we were made to do. God's call will never be a vocation we don't want.