Is it a sin to have a child out of wedlock?

It is a sin to have a child out of wedlock: he asks: My sister is despised in church because she has a child and is not married. It's not her fault that he's gone and she didn't have an abortion. I don't know why people despise it and I'd like to know how to fix it.

Answer. Praise God your sister didn't have an abortion! She deserves to be honored for making the right decision. I'm sure you will continue to do everything you can to help her know! I have talked to many women who have made the wrong choice and opted for abortion. When this is the decision made, it always leaves the person with a void and a sense of deep regret. So she should be very peaceful for choosing to let her baby come into this world.

Let me address the first part of what you said by making a distinction. You say your "sister is despised by the church". The distinction I want to make is the difference between those individuals who are part of the Church and the Church itself.

First of all, when we speak of "Church" we can mean various things. Correctly speaking, the Church is made up of all who are members of the body of Christ on earth, in Heaven and in Purgatory. On earth we have the laity, religious and ordained.

Let's start with those members of the Church in Heaven. These members, the saints, certainly do not despise your sister from above. Instead, they pray continuously for her and for all of us. They are the true models of how we should live and they are what we should strive to imitate.

It is a sin to have a child out of wedlock: let's go deeper

As for those on earth, we are all still sinners, but we hope that we strive to be saints. Unfortunately, sometimes our sins stand in the way of true Christian charity and we can make unfair judgments about others. If this is what happened to your sister, this is a sin and the sad result of individual sins.

A further distinction, very important to make, is that of the "official position of the Church" regarding its teaching. It is true that we believe that God's ideal plan for a child is to be born into a loving family with two parents. This is what God meant, but we know it's not always the situation we find in life. But it is also very important to point out that official Church teaching would never imply that someone should despise your sister in regards to her goodness, dignity, and especially her choice to have her child. If the child was born out of wedlock, then we disagree with extramarital sexual relations, but this should in no way be interpreted to mean that we despise your sister personally and certainly not her child. She will surely have unique challenges in raising her child as a single mother,

So know that, properly speaking, the Church would never despise your sister or her child from top to bottom. Instead, we thank God for this little girl and for her commitment to raise this little boy as a gift from God.