Jelena of Medjugorje: I tell you how important marriage is

On August 24, Jelena Vasilj joined in marriage with Massimiliano Valente in the church of San Giacomo in Medjugorje. It was truly a marriage full of joy and prayer! The visionary Marija Pavlovic-Lunetti was one of the witnesses. It is rare to see young spouses so beautiful and radiant! A week before the wedding, they came to visit us and we talked for a long time about the value of the Christian couple. Recall that, over the years, Jelena received teachings from the Madonna through internal locutions, under the assistance of Father Tomislav Vlasic, and that she was chosen by the Virgin to lead a prayer group, until she went to study in the States United, in 1991.
Here are some of Jelena's answers to the questions I asked her:

Sr. Em .: Jelena, I know that you are totally open to the will of God in your life. How did you understand that your way was that of marriage and not another?
Jelena: I still see the beauty of both life choices! And in a way, I'm still drawn to religious life. Religious life is a very beautiful life and I say it freely in front of Maximilian. I must also add, that I feel a certain sadness thinking that I will not live the ideal of religious life! But I see that through communion with another human being, I get rich. Massimiliano helps me to be more what I have to become as a human person. Of course, I also had the opportunity to grow spiritually before, but this relationship with Massimiliano helps me a lot to grow as a person and develop other virtues. It helps me to have a more concrete faith. Before, I was often kidnapped by mystical experiences and lived in a sort of spiritual ecstasy. Now, communicating with another human being, I am called to the cross and I see that my life matures.

Sr. Em .: What do you mean by "being called to the cross"?
Jelena: You have to die a little when you get married! Otherwise, one remains very selfish in one's search for the other, with the risk of being disappointed afterwards; especially when it is hoped that the other can take away our fears or solve our problems. I think, at the beginning, I went towards the other a bit like towards a refuge. But fortunately, Massimiliano never wanted to be for me, this refuge where to hide me. I think the deep self of us women is very emotional and we are looking for a man who can somehow feed our emotions. But if this attitude lasts, we will remain girls and never grow up.

Sr.Em .: How did you choose Massimiliano?
Jelena: We met three years ago. We were both students of "Church History" in Rome. Entering into relationship with him pushed me to overcome myself and made me experience real growth. Massimiliano knows how to be very careful and constant in his way of being. It has always proved very true and serious in his decisions while I can easily change my mind. It has magnificent virtues! What attracted me to him was above all his love for chastity. I have felt more and more respect for him and I have often found that he preferred what was good in me. I believe that for a woman, respecting a man can be a real healing, because she is often considered and looked at as an object!

Sr. Em .: Which attitude would you recommend to young lovers who think about marriage?
Jelena: The relationship begins with a sort of attraction, which should not be ignored. But we must go further. If you don't die to yourself, physical or chemical energy disappears very easily. Then, nothing remains. It is a good thing that this period of "infatuation" fades quickly, because the fact of feeling attracted to each other prevents you from seeing the beauty of the other, even if it serves to attract him. Probably, if God had not given us this gift, men and women would never marry! So this fact is providential. For me, chastity is the gift that allows a couple to learn to truly love, because chastity extends to everything related to couple life. If you don't learn to respect each other, the relationship ends up destroyed. When we consecrate ourselves in the sacrament of marriage, we say: "I promise to love you and honor you". Honor should never be separated from love.