God's way to deal with difficult people

Dealing with difficult people not only tests our faith in God, but also showcases our testimony. A biblical figure who responded well to difficult people was David, who triumphed over many offensive characters to become king of Israel.

When he was just a teenager, David met one of the most intimidating types of difficult people: the bully. Bullies can be found at work, at home and in schools and usually scare us with their physical strength, authority or some other advantage.

Goliath was a giant Philistine warrior who terrified the entire Israelite army with its size and fighting prowess. Nobody dared to meet this bully in combat until David showed up.

Before confronting Goliath, David faced a critic, his brother Eliab, who said:

“I know how presumptuous and how wicked your heart is; you just went down to watch the battle. " (1 Samuel 17:28, NIV)

David ignored this criticism because what Eliab said was a lie. This is a good lesson for us. Returning his attention to Goliath, David saw through the giant's insults. Even as a young pastor, David understood what it meant to be a servant of God:

“All those here will know that it is not with the sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is of the Lord, and he will give you all into our hands. " (1 Samuel 17:47, NIV).

The Bible on Managing Difficult People
While we should not respond to bullies by hitting them in the head with a rock, we should remember that our strength is not in ourselves, but in the God who loves us. This can give us the confidence to endure when our resources are scarce.

The Bible offers a lot of information on how to deal with difficult people:

It is time to escape
Fighting a bully isn't always the right course of action. Later, King Saul turned into a bully and chased David across the country because Saul was jealous of him.

David chose to escape. Saul was the legitimately appointed king and David would not fight him. He said to Saul:

“And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. As the old saying goes, "Bad deeds come from the wicked, so my hand won't touch you. "" (1 Samuel 24: 12-13, NIV)

Sometimes we have to escape from a bully in the workplace, on the street or in a violent relationship. This is not cowardice. It is wise to withdraw when we are unable to protect ourselves. Trusting in God to obtain justice requires great faith, like that of David. He knew when to act himself and when to flee and hand the matter over to the Lord.

Face the Angry
Later in David's life, the Amalekites had attacked the village of Ziklag, taking away the wives and children of David's army. The scriptures say David and his men cried until there was no strength left.

Understandably the men were angry, but instead of being angry at the Amalekites, they blamed David:

“David was very distressed because men talked about stoning him; each was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. " (1 Samuel 30: 6, NIV)

Often people get angry with us. Sometimes we deserve it, in which case an apology is needed, but usually the difficult person is frustrated in general and we are the most practical goal. Striking back is not the solution:

"But David was strengthened in the Lord his God." (1 Samuel 30: 6, NASB)

Addressing God when we are attacked by an angry person gives us understanding, patience and above all courage. Some suggest taking a deep breath or counting to ten, but the real answer is to say a quick prayer. David asked God what to do, he was told to chase the kidnappers and he and his men rescued their families.

Dealing with angry people tests our testimony. People are watching. We too can lose our temper or we can respond calmly and with love. David succeeded because he turned to the One stronger and wiser than himself. We can learn from his example.

Look in the mirror
The hardest person everyone has to deal with is our self. If we are honest enough to admit it, we cause more trouble than others.

David was no different. She committed adultery with Bathsheba, then killed her husband Uriah. Faced with his crimes by Nathan the prophet, David admitted:

"I have sinned against the Lord." (2 Samuel 12:13, NIV)

Sometimes we need the help of a pastor or a devoted friend to help us clearly see our situation. In other cases, when we humbly ask God to show us the reason for our misery, he politely directs us to look in the mirror.

So we have to do what David did: confess our sin to God and repent, knowing that he always forgives and brings us back.

David had many flaws, but he was the only person in the Bible whom God called "a man of my own heart." (Acts 13:22, NIV) Why? Because David was completely dependent on God to direct his life, including dealing with difficult people.

We cannot control difficult people and we cannot change them, but with God's guidance we can understand them better and find a way to deal with them.