The spiritual purpose of loneliness

What can we learn from the Bible about being alone?

Solitude. Whether it's a vital transition, the breakdown of a relationship, a mourning, an empty nest syndrome or simply because, at some point, we all felt alone. In fact, according to a study conducted by the insurance company Cigna, about 46% of Americans report feeling sometimes or always alone, while only 53% say they have significant social interactions in person on a daily basis.

It is this sense of "loneliness" that researchers and experts are calling a great 21st century epidemic and a grave health concern. It is as harmful to health, researchers at Brigham Young University have established, as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. And the Health Resources & Services Administration (HRSA) estimates that lonely elderly people have a 45% increased risk of mortality.

Why is loneliness exactly a crisis? There are a number of reasons, from the greater dependence on technology compared to personal interactions, to the average size of families that has decreased over the years, causing more and more people living alone

But loneliness itself is hardly a new concept, especially regarding spirituality.

After all, some of the most faith-filled people in history and even the great heroes of the Bible have experienced deep solitude up close and personal. So is there a spiritual component in loneliness? How does God expect us to navigate an increasingly lonely society?

The clues start from the beginning, right in the book of Genesis, says Lydia Brownback, speaker and author of Finding God in my solitude. Contrary to what it may seem, loneliness is not a punishment from God or through personal fault, he says. Take the fact that after creating man, God said, "It is not good that man should be alone."

"God said that even before falling into sin, in the sense that he created us with the ability to feel alone even at a time when the world was very good in every way," says Brownback. "The fact that loneliness existed before sin came into the world must mean that it is okay to experience it and that it is not necessarily the result of something bad."

Of course, when we are deep in solitude, one cannot help but ask: why should God give us the ability to feel alone in the first place? To answer this, Brownback looks again at Genesis. From the beginning, God created us with a void that only He can fill. And for good reason.

"If we weren't created with that emptiness, we wouldn't feel that anything is missing," he says. "It is a gift to be able to feel alone, because it makes us recognize that we need God and makes us reach one for the other".

Human connection is vital for alleviating loneliness

Look at the case of Adam, for example. God remedied his loneliness with a companion, Eve. This does not necessarily mean that marriage is a cure for loneliness. Case in point, even married people feel lonely. Instead, says Brownback, companionship is what matters. Psalm 68: 6 indicates: "God sets the solitary in families."

"That doesn't necessarily mean a spouse and 2.3 children," he says. “Rather, God created human beings to be in communion with one another, to love and be loved. Marriage is just one way of doing it. "

So what can we do when we face loneliness? Brownback once again stresses the community. Contact and speak with someone, whether it's a friend, family member, counselor or spiritual counselor. Join a church and help those who may be more alone than you.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are alone, to yourself or to others, Brownback recommends. Be honest, especially with God. You can start by praying something like, "God, what can I do to change my life?"

"There are many practical things you can do to seek help immediately," says Brownback. “Get involved in church, talk to someone you trust, resolve someone else's loneliness, and ask God for changes you can make over time. And open up to some new opportunities you've been too afraid to try, whatever it is. "

Remember, you are not alone

Jesus experienced loneliness more than anyone else, from fasting in the desert to the Garden of Gethsemane to the Cross.

"Jesus was the loneliest man who ever lived," says Brownback. “He loved the people who betrayed him. He hurt himself and continued to love. So even in the worst case, we can say "Jesus understands". In the end, we are never alone because he is with us. "

And comfort that God can do extraordinary things with your lonely season.

"Take your loneliness and say, 'I don't like how it feels, but I'll see it as a suggestion from God to make some changes," says Brownback. "Whether it's an isolation of your doing or a situation where God has put you, he can use it."