Medjugorje: freed from drugs, he is now a priest

I am happy as long as I can bear witness to you all about the "resurrection" of my life. Many times, when we talk about the living Jesus, Jesus who can be touched with our hands, who changes our lives, our hearts seem so far away, in the clouds, but I can testify that I have experienced all this and seen also happen in the lives of many, many young people. I lived for a long time, about 10 years, a prisoner of drugs, in solitude, in marginalization, immersed in evil. I started taking marijuana when I was only fifteen. It all began with my rebellion against everything and everyone, from the music I listened to pushing me towards a wrong freedom, I started making a joint every now and then, then I moved on to heroin, finally to the needle! After high school, failing to study in Varazdin, Croatia, I went to Germany without a specific goal. I started living in Frankfurt where I worked as a bricklayer, but I was dissatisfied, I wanted more, I wanted to be someone, to have a lot of money. I started dealing heroin. Money started filling my pockets, I lived a classy life, I had everything: cars, girls, good times - the classic American dream.

Meanwhile, the heroine took possession of me more and more and pushed me lower and lower, towards the abyss. I did a lot of things for money, I stole, lied, deceived. In that last year spent in Germany, I lived literally on the streets, slept in train stations, ran away from the police, who were now looking for me. Hungry as I was, I entered the shops, grabbed bread and salami and ate while I was running. Telling you that no cashier blocked me anymore is enough to make you understand what I might look like. I was only 25 years old, but I was so tired of life, of my life, that I only wanted to die. In 1994 I fled from Germany, I returned to Croatia, my parents found me in these conditions. My brothers immediately helped me to enter the community, first in Ugljane near Sinji and then in Medjugorje. I, tired of everything and just wanting to rest a bit, came in, with all my good plans on when to go out.

I will never forget the day when, for the first time, I met Mother Elvira: I had three months of community and I was in Medjugorje. Speaking in the chapel to us boys, he suddenly asked us this question: "Who of you wants to become a good boy?" Everyone around me raised their hand with joy in their eyes, on their faces. Instead I was sad, angry, I already had my plans in mind that had nothing to do with becoming good. That night, however, I could not sleep, I felt a great weight inside me, I remember having cried secretly in the bathrooms and in the morning, during the prayer of the rosary, I understood that I wanted to become good too. The Spirit of the Lord had touched my heart deeply, thanks to those simple words spoken by Mother Elvira. At the beginning of the community journey I suffered a lot because of my pride, I didn't want to accept being a failure.

One evening, in the fraternity of Ugljane, after telling many lies about my past life to look different than I really was, with pain I understood how bad it had entered my blood, living so many years in the world of drugs. I had gotten to the point that I didn't even know when I was telling the truth and when I was lying! For the first time in my life, albeit with difficulty, I lowered my pride, I apologized to the brothers and immediately afterwards I felt great joy at having freed myself from evil. The others did not judge me, on the contrary, they loved me even more; I felt "hungry" for these moments of liberation and healing and I began to get up at night to pray, to ask Jesus for the strength to overcome my fears, but above all to give me the courage to share my poverty with others, my moods and my feelings. There before Jesus the Eucharist the truth began to make its way inside me: the deep desire to be different, to be a friend of Jesus. Today I discovered how great and beautiful the gift of a true, beautiful, clean, transparent friendship is; I fought to be able to accept the brothers as they were, with their shortcomings, to welcome them in peace and forgive them. Every night I asked and I ask Jesus to teach me to love as he loves.

I spent many years in the Community of Livorno, in Tuscany, there, in that house, I had the opportunity to meet Jesus many times and to go deeper in the knowledge of myself. In that period, moreover, I suffered a lot: my brothers, cousins, friends were at war, I felt guilty for everything I had done to my family, for all the suffering caused, for the fact that I was in the community and them at war. In addition, my mother fell ill at that time and asked me to go home. It was a hard-fought choice, I knew what my mother was going through, but at the same time I knew that going out of the community would be a risk for me, it was too early and I would be a heavy burden for my parents. I prayed for whole nights, I asked the Lord to make my mother understand that I was not only hers, but also the boys with whom I lived. The Lord did the miracle, my mother understood and today she and my whole family are very happy with my choice.

After four years of community life, the time had come to decide what to do with my life. I felt more and more in love with God, with life, with the community, with the boys with whom I shared my days. At first, I thought of studying psychology, but the closer I got to these studies, the more my fears increased, I needed to go to the foundation, to the essentiality of life. I decided, then, to study theology, all my fears disappeared, I felt more and more grateful to the Community, to God for all the times he came to meet me, for having torn me from death and raised me, for having cleaned me up, dressed me for making me wear the party dress. The more I went on with my studies, the more my 'call' became clear, strong, rooted in me: I wanted to become a priest! I wanted to give my life to the Lord, to serve the Church within the Upper Room Community, to help the boys. On July 17, 2004 I was ordained a priest.