Motivation: how to live the life you love

Not everyone who wanders is lost. " ~ JRR Tolkien

I will always remember those words.

I had just decided to abandon my old life. Instead of pursuing a professional career as a lawyer, I wanted to set up a business as a freelance writer because it seemed like a rewarding thing to do.

“You will never make it work. You will regret your decision, "said a loved one.

Those words pushed my buttons. I felt scared.

What if I regret it?

Was I stupid, even delirious, for thinking that there was an alternative to living a pre-programmed life with a safe nine to five and a mortgage?

Maybe I did think too much of myself, my skills and my potential? Maybe I was preparing for disaster?

How to find the courage to live a life you love
Doubt is everywhere, isn't it?

People around you expect you to live your life in a certain way.

Go to a good school, find a job that pays a comfortable salary, buy a house ...

What if you don't? If you break the norm and live life differently? Whether it's driving around the country in a camper van, becoming a full-time yoga teacher in the Himalayas or starting a passion project…

Let's put it this way. You will see many raised eyebrows and listen to many surprised questions and doubtful doubts.

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Comments like:

“Why would you want something different from what you already have? Don't be so ungrateful. "

"There is no way it will work."

“Are you sure this is the best thing to do? Wouldn't it be better to stick to where you are now and see how it expands? "

The problem of being constantly questioned by everyone around you?

Well, let's take as an example. When I heard those doubtful words (and many like them), I took them to heart.

Unconsciously I started to believe them and created what in psychology is known as self-fulfilling prophecy. When you believe in something about yourself, it affects what you do and consequently your results.

For example, if you internalize what others say about your choices, you won't believe you can be successful. And that means you won't do it, because you won't even start.

But here's the good news:

You can overcome all these doubts. You can find the courage inside you not only to take a step forward but also to live life fully without looking back. That's how:

1. Find positive examples around you.
Think of someone who has managed to do what you want to do: someone with a background, resources, skills, etc. Similar or even less advantages.

If they did, why couldn't you?

Let me tell you a secret (shh, nobody else will know!):

If someone else has done it, you can probably do it too.

I understood it early.

While, yes, people around you may not understand how you can succeed, it is enough for you.

This was a tool I used to stay confident and focused every time someone told me (or suggested) that I should give up on my dream.

I searched and thought about the people who had already made it happen.

People who were not so different from me.

If they could do it, me too.

2. Send love and light to everyone around you.
In Eat, Pray, Love, Liz Gilbert receives the following tips to get past her ex David:

"Send him some love and light every time you think of him, then let him fall."

One of the biggest insights I had was that people don't doubt us because they want to hurt us.

No. Instead, they are probably worried about us.

After all, if they've only seen one thing work all their lives, it's hard to see beyond anything but that way of life.

Or maybe they are projecting their fears and insecurities on us.

The thing is:

We love security above almost everything else.

If you challenge that security, it makes you strange.

So when they doubt you, it tells you nothing about your abilities, but everything about their own fears and insecurities.

However, their words may have a purpose. Maybe it's to break your ego a little so you can get out of it stronger. Or he'll give you some bumps along the way so you don't get comfortable and take things for granted.

Whatever it is, use the advice that helped Liz live in peace to get over the words.

Send them love and light, then release it.

3. Words don't define you. You do.
Here's the thing:

Other people's words only define you if you leave them.

In the end, you create your reality.

Words are just words. You could say that someone is "too simple", but someone else may appreciate that person's honesty.

I don't know how much it helped me overcome all my doubts.

Yes, there were people who expressed their subjective reality.

But it didn't have to be mine.

I realized that I can define who I am and what I am capable of. And you too.

For example, if someone told you that you are "too emotional", that doesn't mean that you are too emotional or that being emotional is also a bad thing. This is only their perception based on their unique set of beliefs, experiences and projections.

So how do you remember how miraculous you are?

Write down all the things you appreciate about yourself. It could be qualities you like or beautiful things that others have said about you.

Every morning, look at that list.

Someone who's fantastic has a high chance of succeeding with whatever he chooses to do, right? Or at least, that person will learn, grow and live an adventure hell.

4. Become the support person you want in your life.
If you've allowed the doubters to hold you back, it's time to start bringing support people into your life.

People who encourage you and make you believe that you can do anything you want to do and more.

Well, everything can start with you.

When I started offering encouraging words to others, I started attracting people who gave appreciation.

The most striking example was when I sent an email to someone whose writing I found and enjoyed online. I told her how much I appreciated it. He replied and thanked me ... and since then we are friends! Not only that, but it has had an incredibly positive impact on my life by being extremely supportive and encouraging.

That's all. These four steps have helped me overcome doubts, find my courage and live life as I want to live it.

Today I am able to work and live anywhere and live a flexible and (in my definition) free life. I couldn't be happier to be stuck with my decision.

What's that thing you're stopping you from doing?

Practice these new mentality shifts daily. Soon, you will find that courage inside you to live life exactly how you want to live it