Medjugorje: anamasulidwa ku mankhwala osokoneza bongo, tsopano ndi wansembe

Ndine wokondwa bola ngati ndingachitire umboni kwa inu nonse za "kuuka" kwa moyo wanga. Nthawi zambiri, tikamakamba za Yesu wamoyo, Yesu yemwe angakhudzidwe ndi manja athu, amene amasintha miyoyo yathu, mitima yathu ikuwoneka patali kwambiri, m'mitambo, koma ndikhoza kuchitira umboni kuti ndakumanapo ndi izi tawonanso zikuchitika m'miyoyo ya achinyamata ambiri. Ndinakhala kwa nthawi yayitali, pafupifupi zaka 10, mkaidi wamankhwala osokoneza bongo, ndekha, ndikundipondereza, ndimizidwa moipa. Ndinayamba kumwa chamba ndili ndi zaka XNUMX zokha. Zonsezi zidayamba ndikapandukira chilichonse ndi aliyense, kuyambira nyimbo zomwe ndimamvera ndikundikankhira ufulu wonyenga, ndidayamba kupanga cholumikizira nthawi ndi nthawi, kenako ndimasunthira ku heroin, pamapeto pake ku singano! Nditamaliza maphunziro a kusekondale, polephera kuphunzira ku Varazdin, Croatia, ndidapita ku Germany popanda cholinga. Ndinayamba kukhala ku Frankfurt komwe ndimagwira ntchito yomanga nyumba, koma sindinali wokhutira, ndimafuna zochulukirapo, ndimafuna kukhala winawake, kukhala ndi ndalama zambiri. Ndinayamba kuchita heroin. Ndalama zinayamba kudzaza matumba anga, ndinkakhala moyo wapamwamba, ndinali ndi zonse: magalimoto, atsikana, nthawi zabwino - loto lakale laku America.

Panthawiyi, ngwaziyo idandigwira mobwerezabwereza ndikundikankhira m'munsi ndikutsika, kumka kuphompho. Ndinkachita zinthu zambiri ndalama, ndinaba, ndinama, ndinamiza. Mu chaka chatha chomwe ndidakhala ku Germany, ndimakhala m'misewu, kugona m'masitima apamtunda, kuthawa apolisi, omwe tsopano anali kundifunafuna. Ndili ndimanjala, ndinalowa m'masitolo, ndikugwira mkate ndi salami ndikudya pomwe ndikuthamanga. Kukuwuzani kuti palibe wosunga pakhomo yemwe wandiletsa ndiye kokwanira kukupangitsani inu kumvetsetsa momwe ndingawonekere. Ndinali ndi zaka 25 zokha, koma ndinali nditatopa kwambiri ndi moyo, za moyo wanga, mwakuti ndimangofuna kufa. Mu 1994 ndinathawa ku Germany, ndinabwereranso ku Croatia, makolo anga adandipeza ndili ndimavuto. Abale anga nthawi yomweyo adandithandizira kulowa m'deralo, woyamba ku Ugljane pafupi ndi Sinji kenako ku Medjugorje. Ine, nditatopa ndi chilichonse ndipo ndikungofuna kupuma pang'ono, ndinalowa, ndili ndimalingaliro anga onse abwino nthawi yopumira.

Sindidzaiwala tsiku lomwe, kwa nthawi yoyamba, ndidakumana ndi Amayi Elvira: Ndidakhala ndi miyezi itatu yangokhala ndipo ndinali ku Medjugorje. Polankhula m'sukuluyi kwa ife anyamata, mwadzidzidzi adatifunsa funso ili: "Ndani wa inu amene akufuna kukhala mwana wabwino?" Aliyense wondizungulira anakweza dzanja lawo chisangalalo m'maso mwawo, pankhope zawo. M'malo mwake ndinali wachisoni, wokwiya, ndinali ndimaganizo anga kale zomwe sizinachite kukhala bwino. Usiku womwewo, komabe, sindinathe kugona, ndinamva kulemedwa kwakukulu mkati mwanga, ndimakumbukira kuti ndimalira mobisa m'bafa ndipo m'mawa, mkati mwapemphero la kolona, ​​ndinamvetsetsa kuti inenso ndikufuna kukhala wabwino. Mzimu wa Ambuye udandikhudza mtima kwambiri, chifukwa cha mawu osavuta awa omwe amayi a Elvira adalankhula. Kumayambiriro kwaulendo wam'mudzi ndidavutika kwambiri chifukwa cha kunyada, sindinkafuna kuvomera kukhala wolephera.

Tsiku lina madzulo, ndili pachibale cha ku Ugljane, nditanena zabodza zambiri za moyo wanga wakale kuti ndizioneka mosiyana ndi momwe ndidalili, ndikumva kuwawa ndidamvetsetsa momwe lidalowera m'magazi anga, ndikukhala zaka zambiri m'dziko la mankhwala. Ndinali nditafika poti sindinadziwepo kuti ndikunena zoona komanso liti! Kwa nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga, ngakhale kuti ndimavutika, ndidatsitsa kunyada, ndinapepesa kwa abale ndipo nthawi yomweyo pambuyo pake ndinakhala ndi chisangalalo chodzimasulira ku zoipa. Enawo sanandiweruza, m'malo mwake, amandikonda koposa; Ndimamva "kumva njala" chifukwa cha mphindi zakumasulidwa ndikuchiritsidwa ndipo ndinayamba kudzuka usiku kuti ndikapemphere, kupempha Yesu kuti andipatse mphamvu kuti ndithane ndi mantha anga, koma koposa zonse kuti andipatse chilimbikitso chogawana umphawi wanga ndi ena, zosangalatsa zanga komanso malingaliro anga. Pamaso pa Yesu Ukaristiya Choonadi sichinayambike mkati mwanga: kufunitsitsa kosiyana, kukhala mnzake wa Yesu. Ndinkayesetsa kuti ndivomereze abale monga momwe analiri, ndi zophophonya zawo, kuti ndiwalandire mwamtendere ndi kuwakhululukira. Usiku uliwonse ndidafunsa ndipo ndimapempha Yesu kuti andiphunzitse kukonda monga momwe amakondera.

Ndidakhala zaka zambiri ku Community of Livorno, ku Tuscany, kumeneko, mnyumbayo, ndidakhala ndi mwayi wokumana ndi Yesu nthawi zambiri ndikudziwitsa za ine ndekha. Munthawi imeneyi, mopitilira, ndidakumana ndi zowawa zambiri: abale anga, abale ake, abwenzi anali kunkhondo, ndinadziimba mlandu chifukwa cha zonse zomwe ndinachitira banja langa, chifukwa cha mavuto onse omwe anayambitsidwa, poti ndinali mdera komanso pa nkhondo. Kuphatikiza apo, amayi anga adadwala nthawi imeneyo ndipo adandipempha kuti ndipite kwathu. Kunali kusankha kosavuta kumenya, ndimadziwa zomwe mayi anga akukumana nazo, koma nthawi yomweyo ndimadziwa kuti kutuluka m'gululi kudzakhala pachiwopsezo kwa ine, kunali koyambilira kwambiri ndipo ndikadakhala cholemetsa kwa makolo anga. Ndidapemphera usiku wonse, ndidapempha Ambuye kuti awapangitse amayi anga kuzindikira kuti sindine wawo wokha, komanso anyamata omwe ndidakhala nawo. Ambuye anachita zozizwitsa, amayi anga amvetsetsa ndipo lero iye ndi banja langa lonse ali okondwa kwambiri ndi chisankho changa.

Pambuyo pazaka zinayi zakumidzi, nthawi inali itakwana yoti ndisankhe chochita ndi moyo wanga. Ndimamva kwambiri chikondi ndi Mulungu, ndi moyo, ndimagulu, ndi anyamata omwe ndimacheza nawo masiku anga. Poyamba, ndimaganiza zophunzira kuwerenga zama psychology, koma m'mene ndimafikira kumaphunziro awa, momwe mantha anga amakulira, ndimafunikira kupita kumaziko, ku maziko amoyo. Ndidaganiza, ndiye, kuti ndiphunzire zaumulungu, mantha anga onse adasowa, ndimamva kuyamika kwambiri kwa Gulu, kwa Mulungu nthawi zonse zomwe adakumana ndi ine, chifukwa chondibera ine kumanda ndikundidzutsa, chifukwa chondiyeretsa, kundiveka pondipangitsa kuvala mkanjo. Nditapitiliza ndi maphunziro anga, momwe 'kuyitana' kwanga kumawonekera, kumakhala kolimba, kumakhazikika mwa ine: Ndikufuna kukhala wansembe! Ndinafuna kupereka moyo wanga kwa Ambuye, kutumikira Mpingo mkati mwa Upper Room Community, kuthandiza anyamata. Pa Julayi 17, 2004 ndidasankhidwa kukhala wansembe.