George Carlin anotora zvakanakisa nezvechitendero
George Carlin aive mutambi anotaurisa, anozivikanwa nekunyepedzera kwake kuseka, mutauro wakashata, uye maonero anopokana nezvematongerwo enyika, chinamato, uye nedzimwe nyaya dzinonetsa. Akazvarwa muna Chivabvu 12, 1937 muNew York City kumhuri yeIrish Catholic, asi akaramba kutenda. Vabereki vake vakaparadzana achiri mudiki nekuti baba vake vaive chidhakwa.
Akapinda chikoro chepamusoro cheRoman Catholic, icho chaakazorega. Akaratidzawo tarenda rekutanga remadhirama panguva yezhizha paCamp Notre Dame muNew Hampshire. Akabatana neUS Air Force asi akaidzwa kakawanda mudare uye akatongerwa chirango. Nekudaro, Carlin akashanda paredhiyo panguva yebasa rake remauto, uye izvi zvaigona kuve zvakavhurira nzira yebasa rake rekunakidzwa, kwaasina kumbodzivisa kupokana, senge zvechitendero.
Nemakotesheni ari pasi apa, unogona kunzwisisa zviri nani kuti nei Carlin akaramba maKatorike kubva pakusatenda kuti kuna Mwari.
Chii chinonzi chinamato
Isu takagadzira mwari mumufananidzo wedu uye akafanana!
Chitendero chakatendisa nyika kuti kune murume asingaonekwe mudenga achiona zvese zvaunoita. Uye pane zvinhu gumi zvaasingade kuti uite kana zvikasadaro uchaenda kunzvimbo inopfuta nedziva remoto kusvika kumagumo nekusingaperi. Asi anokuda! … Uye anoda mari! Zvese zvine simba, asi hazvigone kubata mari! [George Carlin, kubva muarubhamu "Imi Mese Mune Hosha" (unogona kumuwanawo mubhuku "Napalm naSilly Putty".)
chitendero rudzi rwekusimudza mune shangu dzako. Kana zvikaita kuti unzwe zvirinani, zvakanaka. Ingo usandikumbire kuti ndipfeke shangu dzako.
Dzidzo uye kutenda
Ini ndinorumbidza kuti makore masere echikoro chegirama akandiriritira munzira yandaigona kuvimba neni neangu hunhu. Vakandipa maturusi ekuramba kutenda kwangu. Vakandidzidzisa kubvunza mibvunzo nekuzvifunga ndoga uye nekutenda mune zvangu zvisikwa zvekuti ndakangoti, "Iyi inyaya yakanaka kuti vari kuenda kuno, asi hazvisi zvangu." [George Carlin muNew York Times - Nyamavhuvhu 20, 1995, peji. 17. Akaenda kuKadhinari Hayes High Chikoro muBronx asi akasiya gore rake rekupedzisira muna 1952 uye haana kuzodzokera kuchikoro. Akamboenda kuchikoro chegirama cheKaturike, Corpus Christi, icho chaakadana chikoro chekuyedza.]
Panzvimbo yebhazi rechikoro uye munamato wechikoro, izvo zviri zviviri zvine nharo, wadii mhinduro yakajairika? Munamato nebhazi. Ita kuti vana ava vatyaire zuva rese uye varegedze vanamate kumisoro yavo midiki isina chinhu. [George Carlin, Brain Droppings]
Chechi nenyika
Uyu munamato mudiki wakatsaurirwa kupatsanurwa kwechechi nenyika. Ndinofungidzira kana vakamanikidza vana ivavo kuti vanamate muzvikoro, vanogona zvakare kuve nemunamato wakanaka seizvi: Baba vedu varikudenga neRepublic yavanomira, humambo hwenyu hunouya, nyika isingaonekwe senge kudenga, tipei nhasi apo tinoregerera avo vatinokwazisa tichidada. Korona yako yakanaka mumuedzo asi tinunure kubva kwekupedzisira kubwinya kwerubvunzavaeni. Ameni naAmai. [George Carlin, pa "Mugovera Husiku Live"]
Ini ndiri chose kukodzera kuparadzaniswa kwechechi uye nyika. Pfungwa yangu ndeyekuti aya masisitimu maviri atiparadze zvakakwana paga, saka zvese pamwechete zvine rufu.
Majee echitendero
Ndine chiremera chakafanana nepapa, asi handina vanhu vazhinji vanozvitenda mazviri. [George Carlin, Brain Droppings]
Jesu akange ari mupfekeri wemuchinjiro [George Carlin, Brain Droppings] Alla
Ini ndakazogamuchira Jesu .. Kwete semuponesi wangu, asi semurume wandinoronga kukweretesa mari. [George Carlin, Brain Droppings]
Ini handifi ndakada kuve nhengo yeboka rine mucherechedzo aive mukomana akarovererwa kumatanda maviri. [George Carlin, kubva kuAlbum "A Place For My Stuff"]
Mumwe murume akauya kwandiri mumugwagwa uye akandiudza kuti ndakasvibiswa nemishonga asi ikozvino ndasvibiswa naJeeesus Chriiist.
Chinhu chega chakanaka chakambobuda muchitendero yaive mimhanzi. [George Carlin, Kudonhedza Bongo]
Ramba kutenda
Ndinoda kuti iwe uzive, kana zvasvika pakutenda muna Mwari, ini ndamboedza chaizvo. Ndakaedza chaizvo. Ndakaedza kutenda kuti kune mwari akasika mumwe nemumwe wedu mumufananidzo wake uye akafanana, anotida zvakanyanya uye anotarisa zvinhu. Ndakaedza chaizvo kuzvitenda, asi ndinofanira kukuudza, kana ukagara kwenguva yakareba, paunonyanya kutarisa kumativi, ndipo paunoona zvakanyanya ... chimwe chinhu chiri F-KED UP. Pane zvisina kumira zvakanaka pano. Hondo, hosha, kufa, kuparadzwa, nzara, tsvina, hurombo, kushungurudzwa, mhosva, huwori uye Ice Capades. Chimwe chinhu hachisi chokwadi. Iri harisi basa rakanaka. Kana ari iye mwari akanakisa aanogona kuita, HANDIKURUDZWE. Mhedzisiro yakaita seiyi haizi yepfupiso yemunhu mukuru. Iyi ndiyo mhando ye shit yaungatarisira kubva kuhofisi ine hunhu hwakaipa. Uye chaipo pakati pako neni, mune chero zvine mutsindo kumhanya zvakasikwa, uyu mukomana angadai aive ari kumbongoro yake-ine simba rese kare. [George Carlin, kubva kuna "Unorwara".]
Pamunamato
Matiririyoni nemamirioni eminamato zuva rega rega bvunza, bvunza uye bvunza nyasha. 'Ita izvi' 'Ndipe izvo' 'Ndiri kuda mota nyowani' 'Ndinoda basa riri nani'. Uye muzhinji wemunamato uyu unoitika nemusi weSvondo. Uye ini ndoti zvakanaka, namatira chero chaunoda. Namatira chero chinhu. Asi… ko hurongwa hwamwari? Ucharangarira izvo? Hurongwa Hwekare Kare Mwari akaita hurongwa hwamwari. Ndakafunga nezvazvo zvakanyanya. Ndakaona riri zano rakanaka. Chiise mukuita. Uye kwemabhirioni nemabhiriyoni emakore, hurongwa hwamwari hwakashanda nemazvo. Zvino huya unamatire chimwe chinhu. Zvakanaka, ngatiti chinhu chaunoda hachisi muhurongwa hwamwari, chii chaunoda kuti ndiite? Chinja hurongwa hwako? Ndezvako chete? Izvo hazviratidzike kunge kudadira here kwauri? Icho chirongwa chitsvene. Chii chiri basa rekuve Mwari kana yega yekumhanya-pasi schmuck ine maviri emadhora bhuku rekunamatira inogona kuuya ndokuparadza hurongwa hwako? Hechino chimwe chinhu, rimwe dambudziko raungave iwe; Ngatitii minamato yako haina kupindurwa Unoti kudii? 'Zvakanaka, kuda kwaMwari. Kuda kwaMwari ngakuitwe.' Zvakanaka, asi kana kuri kuda kwaMwari uye mune chero mamiriro ezvinhu iye achaita chero chaanoda; sei fuck ichinetseka kunamatira pakutanga? Zvinotaridza sekuparadza kukuru kwenguva. Iwe haugone here kungodarika chikamu chemunamato uye uwane kuda kwake? [George Carlin, kubva “Unorwara”.] Asi kana kuri kuda kwaMwari uye achaita chero chaanoda zvakadaro; sei fuck ichinetseka kunamatira pakutanga? Zvinotaridza sekuparadza kukuru kwenguva. Iwe haugone here kungodarika chikamu chemunamato uye uwane kuda kwake? [George Carlin, kubva “Unorwara”.] Asi kana kuri kuda kwaMwari uye achaita chero chaanoda zvakadaro; sei fuck ichinetseka kunamatira pakutanga? Zvinotaridza sekuparadza kukuru kwenguva. Iwe haugone here kungodarika chikamu chemunamato uye uwane kuda kwake? [George Carlin, kubva kuna "Unorwara".]
Unoziva wandinonamata? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Zvikonzero zviviri; kutanga kwezvose, ndinofunga iye mutambi akanaka. Zvese zvakanaka. Kwandiri izvi zvine basa. Chepiri; anotaridzika semurume anogona kuita zvinhu. Joe Pesci haasvetuke kutenderera. Hazvitenderi. Muchokwadi, Joe Pesci akawana zvishoma zvezvinhu izvo Mwari zvaainetseka nazvo. Kwemakore ndanga ndichikumbira Mwari kuti aite chimwe chinhu kumuvakidzani wangu ane ruzha nembwa inohukura. Joe Pesci akatwasanudza muropa uyo nekushanya. [George Carlin, kubva kuna "Unorwara".]
Ndakaona kuti paminamato yese yandakapa kuna Mwari, uye neminamato yese yandiri kupa kuna Joe Pesci, mhinduro inenge yakaenzana ne50 muzana. Hafu yenguva ini ndinowana zvandinoda. Hafu yenguva kwete. Sa mwari 50/50. Kufanana neine-mashizha mana, shangu yebhiza, tsoka yetsuro uye chishuwo chakanaka. Kunge murume mojo. Kufanana nemukadzi wevoodoo anotaurira rombo rako nekusvina machende embudzi. Zvese zvakafanana; 50/50. Saka sarudza mashura ako, gara pasi, ita chishuwo uye unakirwe. Uye kune avo venyu vanotarisa kuBhaibheri nezvehunhu hwaro hwekunyora uye zvidzidzo zvehunhu; Ndine dzimwe nyaya dzinoverengeka dzandinogona kukukurudzira. Unogona kuda Nguruve Nhatu Diki. Icho chakanaka. Ine magumo akanaka anofadza. Ikozve kune Little Red Riding Hood. Kunyangwe iine iyo x-yakarongedzwa chikamu apo Big Bad Wolf inonyatsodya mbuya. Nenzira, ndakanga ndisina basa nazvo. Uye pakupedzisira, ini ndagara ndichiwana yakawanda yenyaradzo kubva kuna Humpty Dumpty. Chikamu chandainyanya kufarira:… uye mabhiza ese amambo nevarume vese vamambo havana kukwanisa kuunganidza Humpty zvakare. Izvi zvinodaro nekuti hakuna Humpty Dumpty uye hakuna Mwari. Kwete. Hazvina kumboitika. [Hakuna Mwari. [George Carlin, kubva “Unorwara.”] S nekuti hakuna Humpty Dumpty uye hakuna Mwari. Kwete. Hazvina kumboitika. [Hakuna Mwari. [George Carlin, kubva “Uri kurwara.”] S nekuti hakuna Humpty Dumpty uye hakuna Mwari. Kwete. Hazvina kumboitika. [Hakuna Mwari. [George Carlin, kubva kuna "Unorwara".]