Umndeni: abazali bayahlukana, udokotela uthi ubani?
Bazali SEPARATE .... kanye nodokotela wezingane othi?
Isiphi iseluleko sokwenza amaphutha amancane? Mhlawumbe ezingaphezu kwesisodwa seluleko sidinga usizo lokucabanga ndawonye ngokuphendula kwezingane nokuthi ungazivikela kanjani. Nayi eminye imibono.
1. Ayikho imithetho yokuziphatha
Umbhangqwana ngamunye unendaba yawo, indlela yawo yokwabelana nesikhathi nemisebenzi nezingane, indlela yawo yokukhuluma nezingane. Futhi umbhangqwana ngamunye unezingane ezihlukile ezinganeni zabanye abantu.
Ngalesi sizathu, wonke umbhangqwana esikhathini esandulelayo futhi esilandela ukwahlukana kumele azitholele indlela yawo yokuziphatha, ehambisana nezimpawu zempilo nokuziphatha abenakho kuze kube yileso sikhathi. Amathiphu awadingeki. Sidinga usizo ukuze sihlole ama-hypotheses ahlukahlukene kanye namathuba, ukucabangisisa ngokuphendula kwezingane, ukuqhubekela phambili kangcono.
Izingane zidinga bobabili ubaba nomama
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, awudingi mzali omuhle nomzali omubi, noma ubaba noma umama obathandayo kangangokuba bakulungele noma yini ukumane nje ubahlwithe komunye umzali.
Ngaphandle kwezimo ezingandile kakhulu zengozi ezifakazelwe zomunye wabazali, ukusesha kwesivumelwano esingcono kakhulu sokuvumela izingane ukuthi zigcine ubudlelwane nobabili kungcono kakhulu okungenziwa kubo. Ukuthola umfelandawonye wezingane nomunye umzali, ngemuva kokubenza bakholelwe ukuthi uyena muntu omubi, umbheki, imbangela yazo zonke izinto, akuyona ukunqoba. Kungukuhlulwa.
3. Hhayi amagama amaningi
Ukuchaza ngaphandle kwamanga okwenzekayo kudinga ukukalwa. Izingqungquthela ezingqungiwe ezihlanganiswe namathoni asemthethweni ("umama nobaba kufanele bakhulume nawe ngento ebalulekile") zinamahloni futhi zinesikhathi sezingane, futhi azisebenzi ngalutho, ikakhulukazi uma abazali bethemba ngale ndlela ukuxazulula yonke into ngasikhathi sinye : izincazelo, ukuqinisekiswa kabusha, incazelo yokudlala phansi okuzokwenzeka "ngemuva". Yizinhloso ezingenakwenzeka. Akekho ongasho ngempela ukuthi kuzokwenzekani ezinyangeni naseminyakeni elandelayo ngokwahlukana. Izingane zidinga izinkomba ezimbalwa futhi ezicacile ezisebenzayo zokuthi kwenzekani nokuthi yini ezoshintsha ngokushesha. Ukukhuluma ngekusasa elikude kakhulu, ngaphandle kokuthi alisebenzi, akukuqinisi futhi kungadida.
4. Ukuqinisekiswa kabusha, iphuzu lokuqala
Izingane kumele zitshelwe yibo bobabili abazali ukuthi okwenzekayo phakathi kukababa nomama (nokuthi izingane sezivele zisola, ngoba zizwile ukuxabana, ukukhala, noma okungenani ukubanda okungajwayelekile) akulona iphutha labo: kumele kukhunjulwe ukuthi izingane abazicabangela bona bodwa, futhi kulula kakhulu ukuthi bayaqiniseka ukuthi indlela abaziphatha ngayo yadlala indima ebambekayo ekungaboni ngaso linye phakathi kwabazali, mhlawumbe ngoba bebezwa bexoxa ngokuziphatha kwabo esikoleni, noma okunye okubakhathazayo.
Kubalulekile ukucacisa, futhi ukuphinda kaningi ukuthi ukuhlukaniswa kukamama nobaba kukhathaza abantu abadala kuphela.
5. Ukuqinisekiswa kabusha, iphuzu lesibili
Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuyadingeka ukuthi uqinisekise izingane ukuthi ubaba nomama bazoqhubeka nokubanakekela, noma ngabe behlukile. Ukukhuluma ngezothando, ukuchaza ukuthi ubaba nomama bazoqhubeka bathande izingane zabo akwanele.
Isidingo sokunakekelwa nokwesaba ukulahlekelwa ukunakekelwa kwabazali siqine kakhulu, futhi asihambelani nesidingo sothando.
Futhi kuleli phuzu, kubalulekile ukucacisa futhi unikeze izinkomba (ezimbalwa futhi ezicacile) ukuthi uhlela kanjani ukusetha impilo yakho ukuze uqinisekise izingane ukunakekelwa okufanayo njengangaphambili.
6. Akunendima eshintshwayo
Qikelela ukuthi ungashintshi izingane zakho zibe ngabaduduzi, esikhundleni sikababa (noma sikamama), abalamuli, abenzi bokuthula noma izinhloli. Esikhathini senguquko efana naleyo yokwahlukana, kuyadingeka ukuthi unake kakhulu izicelo ezenziwa ezinganeni kanye neqhaza elihlongozwayo kubo.
Indlela engcono yokugwema ukudideka kwendima ukuzama ukukhumbula ukuthi izingane zingane: zonke ezinye izindima esizibalile ngaphambili (umduduzi, umlamuleli, inhloli, njll.) Yizindima zabantu abadala. Kufanele zisindiswe izingane, noma ngabe zibonakala ngathi ziyaziphakamisa.
7. Vumela izinhlungu
Ukuchaza ngokucacile, kuqinisekisa, ukuqinisekisa ukunakekelwa kwakho akusho ukuthi izingane azihlushwa ushintsho olukhulu kangako: ukulahlekelwa ngabazali njengombhangqwana, kodwa futhi nokulahlwa kabusha kwemikhuba yangaphambilini nokunethezeka okuthile, isidingo sokuzivumelanisa nesitayela izimpilo ezintsha futhi ezivame kakhulu ukungakhululeki zikhiqiza imizwa ehlukene, intukuthelo, ukukhathazeka, ukudangala, ukungaqiniseki, ulaka. Akulungile ukubuza izingane - ngokuphelele noma ngokusobala - ukuba nengqondo, ukuqonda, "ukungenzi izindaba". Okubi ngisho nangokwedlulele, kubenza babone usizi lobuhlungu ababangela abazali ngokuhlupheka kwabo. Lokhu ngokuyisisekelo kusho ukwenza sengathi izingane azikhombisi ubuhlungu bazo ukuze abantu abadala bangazizwa benecala. Into enhle ukuthi utshele ingane ukuthi kuyaqondakala ukuthi uzizwa enje, ukuthi kuyinto enzima ngempela leyo, ukuthi ubaba nobaba wakhe abakwazanga ukumsindisa kepha kepha bayaqonda ukuthi uyahlupheka, ukuthi uthukuthele, njll. Nokuthi bazozama ukumsiza nganoma iyiphi indlela ukuze azizwe engcono
8. Akunakunxeshezelwa
Indlela yokwenza izingane zizizwe ingcono ekuhlukaniselweni kwabazali akuyona ukufuna isinxephezelo. Ukuthambekela kokuvuma, ukwehlisa izicelo kancane, nakho kungenangqondo, uma konke lokhu kuyingxenye yokusesha imithetho emisha, yendlela yokuphila efaneleke kakhulu esimweni esisha. Uma ngakolunye uhlangothi, izikhawu zemvume ziyingxenye yomncintiswano webanga phakathi kwabazali bobabili ukuzuza isihloko esithi "umzali ongcono" (okungukuthi, onesandla esithe xaxa, otholakala ezonweni, ozimisele ngokwengeziwe ukusayina izizathu zesikole noma zokwanelisa abamhlophe), noma uma banencazelo yokuthi "into engeyinhle, nakho konke okwenzekayo" uhlobo, ukunakwa ngeke kube okulungile ukukhononda uma izingane zifunda "ukusebenzisa isimo", ziba nzima ngokwengeziwe futhi zingabekezeleli ukulinganiselwa, futhi uma zijwayela ukudlala ingxenye wesisulu esihlupheke kakhulu, ingxenye enozwela encane futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke ayifanele kakhulu ukugqugquzela ukusesha izinsiza ukubhekana nezimo ezinzima.
9. Akuyona yonke into eyenzeka ezinganeni umphumela wokwahlukana
Izigaba zokwehlukana ngokuqinisekile zinemiphumela yezimo zezingane, ekuziphatheni kwabo nakwezempilo yabo. Kepha ukusuka lapha ukuqiniseka ukuthi wonke umunyu wesisu, zonke izimpawu, wonke amabanga amabi esikoleni angumphumela oqondile wokwehlukana kunomehluko omkhulu. Phakathi kokunye, lokhu kuyinkolelo eyingozi, ngoba kusivimbela ekutheni senze amanye ama-hypotheses, futhi ngenxa yalokho ekutholeni izisombululo ezisebenzayo. Ukwehluleka kwesikole kungaba futhi ngenxa yento eyenzeka esikoleni (ushintsho othisha, ubunzima nalabo ofunda nabo), noma inhlangano embi yesikhathi. Ubuhlungu be-Belly bungabangelwa ushintsho kwisitayela nesigqi sokudla, mhlawumbe okungahlobene ngokuqondile nokwehlukana, kepha lapho kungathathwa khona isenzo. Ukufaka imali yakho konke okwenzekayo ngenxa yengcindezi yokuhlukanisa kuyinto elula futhi ayakhi.
10. Nweba inethiwekhi
Ukuhlonipha njalo indlela ingane ngayinye evumelana ngayo nesimo esisha esenziwe ngemuva kokwehlukana, kubalulekile ukuzama ukwandisa inethiwekhi yobudlelwano (nokusiza), uqhathanisa ukuthambekela kobuqhawe bokuthi "ukwenze wedwa". Ungazama ukuphakamisa (hhayi ukuphoqelela) imisebenzi yokuzilibazisa entsha ezinganeni, zama ukubeka amashifu wokuhambisana nabanye abazali, ukhuthaze imisebenzi yezemidlalo lapho abantu ababalulekile babandakanyeka khona (umqeqeshi, umqondisi wezemidlalo).
Kunoma ikuphi, kuhle ukugwema ukuvimbela ukusesha kwezibalo ezintsha zabantu abadala ezenziwa phakathi nezigaba zokuhlukaniswa kwabazali babo, ngokuzinamathela kuthisha noma kumzali womngane: ngokungafani nalokho okungabonakala, inethiwekhi ebanzi wezibalo zabantu abadala uvumela ukunciphisa umlinganiso womama / ubaba.
yi-Pediatric Cultural Association