Izingcaphuno ezinhle kakhulu zikaGeorge Carlin ngenkolo
UGeorge Carlin wayengumhlanya ocacile, owaziwa ngomqondo wakhe ongenasizungu, ulimi oluhlazayo nemibono ephikisanayo kwezepolitiki, inkolo nezinye izifundo ezibucayi. Wazalwa ngoMeyi 12, 1937 eNew York City emndenini wamaKatolika wase-Ireland, kodwa wenqaba ukholo. Abazali bakhe bahlukana lapho eseyingane ngoba uyise wayengumlutha wotshwala.
Wafunda esikoleni samabanga aphezulu samaRoma Katolika, agcina eshiye. Ubuye wakhombisa ithalente lokuqala lomdlalo weshashalazi ngesikhathi sehlobo eCamp Notre Dame eNew Hampshire. Ujoyine i-US Air Force kodwa waqulwa kaningana enkantolo futhi waphinde wajeziswa. Kodwa-ke, uCarllin wasebenza emsakazweni ngesikhathi enza umsebenzi wezempi, futhi lokhu bekuzomvulele indlela yomsebenzi wakhe wamahlaya, lapho engazange azigweme izingxabano ezivusa inkolo, njengenkolo.
Ngezingcaphuno ezingezansi, ungaqonda kangcono ukuthi kungani uCarllin enqaba ubuKatolika ngenxa yokungakholelwa ebukhoneni.
Iyini inkolo
Sidale unkulunkulu ngomfanekiso wethu nangokufana kwethu!
Inkolo iqinisekise umhlaba ukuthi kukhona umuntu ongabonakali esibhakabhakeni obuka konke okwenzayo. Futhi kunezinto eziyi-10 angafuni ukuba uzenze, uma kungenjalo uzoya endaweni evuthayo echibini lomlilo kuze kube sekupheleni kwaphakade. Kepha uyakuthanda! ... Futhi udinga imali! Yonke inamandla, kepha ayikwazi ukuphatha imali! [UGeorge Carlin, ovela ku-albhamu ethi "Nonke Ninesifo Sonke" (futhi ungayithola encwadini ethi "Napalm noSilly Putty".)
inkolo luhlobo lokuphakamisa ezicathulweni zakho. Uma kukwenza uzizwe ungcono, kuhle. Vele ungangibuzi ukuthi ngigqoke izicathulo zakho.
Ezemfundo kanye nokholo
Ngibongelwe iminyaka eyisishagalombili yesikole sohlelo lolimi engondlayo endaweni lapho engingazethemba khona nami kanye nemvelo yami. Banginike amathuluzi okwenqaba ukholo lwami. Bangifundise ukubuza imibuzo futhi bazicabangele nami futhi ngikholelwe ekuthambekeni kwami kuze kufike ezingeni lokuthi ngithe: "Le yinganekwane enhle yokuthi baya lapha, kodwa akusiyami." [UGeorge Carlin eNew York Times - Agasti 20, 1995, k. 17. Ufunde eCardinal Hayes High School eBronx, kodwa washiya unyaka wakhe wesibili ngo-1952 futhi akazange abuye esikoleni. Phambilini wayefunda esikoleni solimi samaKatolika, iCorpus Christi, ayibiza ngokuthi isikole sokuhlola.]
Esikhundleni sebhasi lesikole kanye nomkhuleko ezikoleni, zombili izimpikiswano, kungani kungenasixazululo esijwayelekile? Umkhuleko ngebhasi. Cela lezi zingane ukushayela usuku lonke futhi uzivumele ukuba zithandaze emakhanda azo amancane angenalutho. [UGeorge Carlin, ama-Brain Droppings]
Isonto nesimo
Lokhu kungumkhuleko omncane ohlukaniselwe ukwahlukaniswa kwesonto nesimo. Ngicabanga ukuthi uma bephoqa lezo zingane ukuba zithandaze ezikoleni, zingaba nomkhuleko omnandi kanjena: Baba wethu osezulwini ezulwini nephabhulikhi eme kulo, umbuso wakho uyeza, izwe elingabonakali njengasezulwini, lisinike namuhla kuyilapho sibathethelela labo sibabingelela ngokuqhosha. Jwayela okuhle kwakho ekulingweni kepha usikhulule ekubungeni kokugcina kokuhlwa. Amen no-Awomen. [UGeorge Carlin, ku- "Saturday Night Live"]
Ngikuthanda ngokuphelele ukwahlukaniswa kwesonto nesimo. Umqondo wami ukuthi lezi zikhungo ezimbili zizosilimaza ngokwazo ngokwazo, ngakho-ke zombili lezi zinto ngokufa okuthile.
Amahlaya ezenkolo
Nginegunya elifanayo nelopapa, kodwa anginabo abantu abaningi abakholelwa kukho. [UGeorge Carlin, ama-Brain Droppings]
UJesu wayengumenzi wesiphambano [George Carlin, Brain Droppings] Alla
Ekugcineni ngamukela uJesu. Hhayi njengomsizi wami, kodwa njengomuntu engifuna ukuboleka imali kuye. [UGeorge Carlin, ama-Brain Droppings]
Angisoze ngafuna ukuba yilungu leqembu elinezimpawu zomfana obethelwe izingcezu ezimbili zokhuni. [UGeorge Carlin, ovela ku-albhamu ethi “Indawo Yokusila Kwami”]
Indoda ethile yeza kimi emgwaqweni yangitshela ukuthi ngixakene nezidakamizwa kodwa manje sengididekile noJeeesus Chriiist.
Ukuphela kwento enhle eyake yaphuma enkolweni umculo. [UGeorge Carlin, ama-Brain Droppings]
Nqaba ukholo
Ngifuna wazi, uma kukhulunywa ngokukholelwa kuNkulunkulu, ngazama ngempela. Ngiye ngazama ngempela. Ngazama ukukholelwa ukuthi kukhona unkulunkulu owadala ngamunye wethu ngomfanekiso wakhe nokufana naye, osithanda kakhulu futhi ogcina iso ezintweni. Ngiye ngazama ukukukholelwa ngempela, kodwa kufanele ngikutshele, isikhathi eside lapho uhlala khona, kulapho ubheka khona, kulapho uthola khona ... okuthile F-KED UP. Kukhona okungahambi kahle lapha. Impi, izifo, ukufa, ukubhujiswa, indlala, ukungcola, ubuphofu, ukuhlukunyezwa, ubugebengu, inkohliso ne-Ice Capades. Kukhona okuthile okungalungile ngempela. Lona akuwona umsebenzi omuhle. Uma lo unkulunkulu omuhle kakhulu angenza, angihlabeke umxhwele. Imiphumela efana nalezi ayisiyona efingqiwe yokuba ngumuntu ophakeme. Lolu uhlobo loku shit ongalulindela ehhovisi elinesimo esibi. Futhi phakathi kwami nawe, kunoma iyiphi indawo esebenzayo ehlelekile, lo mfo ngabe uphume embongini yakhe yamandla kudala. [UGeorge Carlin, ovela ku- "Uyagula."]
Ngomkhuleko
Izigidigidi namakhulu ezigidi zemikhuleko nsuku zonke buza, ubuze futhi ucele ubuhle. '' Yenza lokhu '' Nginike lokho '' Ngifuna imoto entsha '' ngifuna umsebenzi ongcono '. Futhi iningi lomkhuleko lenzeka ngeSonto. Futhi ngithi kahle, thandazela noma yini oyifunayo. Thandazela noma yini. Kepha ... kuthiwani ngecebo laphezulu? Uyakukhumbula lokho? Uhlelo laphezulu Kudala uNkulunkulu wenza icebo laphezulu. Ngicabange kaningi ngakho. Nginqume ukuthi kwakuyicebo elihle leli. Yisebenzise. Futhi ngezigidigidi zezigidi zeminyaka uhlelo laphezulu lusebenze kahle. Manje woza uzothandazela okuthile. Yebo, ake sithi into oyifunayo ayikho ezinhlelweni zikaNkulunkulu zaphezulu. Ngabe ufuna ngenzeni? Shintsha uhlelo lwakho? Yenzelwe wena kuphela? Awubukeki sengathi uyaziqhenya? Luhlelo laphezulu. Ngabe kusetshenziswa ini ukuthi ube nguNkulunkulu uma kukhona umuntu onobuhlakani obuswa incwadi yomkhuleko onamadola amabili angafika azokonakalisa uhlelo lwakho? Futhi nakhu okunye, enye inkinga ongaba nayo; ake sithi imithandazo yakho ayinampendulo uthini wena? 'Yebo, kuyintando kaNkulunkulu. Intando kaNkulunkulu izokwenziwa.' Hhayi-ke, kepha uma kuyintando kaNkulunkulu futhi kunoma yisiphi isimo uyokwenza noma yini ayifunayo; kungani fuck ukukhathazeka ukuthandaza kuqala? Kubukeka kimi njengokuchitheka okukhulu kwesikhathi. Ubungeke nje weqe ingxenye yomthandazo futhi uthole intando yakhe? [UGeorge Carlin, ovela ku- “Uyagula.”] Kepha uma kuyintando kaNkulunkulu futhi uzokwenza akufunayo; kungani fuck ukukhathazeka ukuthandaza kuqala? Kubukeka kimi njengokuchitheka okukhulu kwesikhathi. Ubungeke nje weqe ingxenye yomthandazo futhi uthole intando yakhe? [UGeorge Carlin, ovela ku- “Uyagula.”] Kepha uma kuyintando kaNkulunkulu futhi uzokwenza akufunayo; kungani fuck ukukhathazeka ukuthandaza kuqala? Kubukeka kimi njengokuchitheka okukhulu kwesikhathi. Ubungeke nje weqe ingxenye yomthandazo futhi uthole intando yakhe? [UGeorge Carlin, ovela ku- "Uyagula."]
Uyazi ukuthi ngithandaza kubani? UJoe Pesci. UJoe Pesci. Izizathu ezimbili; Okokuqala, ngicabanga ukuthi ungumlingisi omuhle. Kulungile. Kimina lokhu kubalulekile. Okwesibili; ubukeka njengomuntu okwaziyo ukwenza izinto. UJoe Pesci akahambi ngokuzungeza. Akuhambi. Eqinisweni, uJoe Pesci usethole izinto ezimbalwa uNkulunkulu ayenazo nezinkinga. Sekuphele iminyaka ngicele uNkulunkulu ukuthi angenzele umakhelwane wami onomsindo ngenja ekhonkotha. UJoe Pesci uqonde lelo gazi ngokuvakasha. [UGeorge Carlin, ovela ku- "Uyagula."]
Ngiqaphelile ukuthi kuyo yonke imithandazo engiyithandaza kuNkulunkulu, nayo yonke imithandazo engiyinikela kuJoe Pesci, impendulo imayelana nesilinganiso esifanayo nesamaphesenti angama-50. Isigamu sesikhathi lapho ngithola engikufunayo. Hafu yesikhathi hhayi. Njengonkulunkulu 50/50. Njenge-clover enamahlamvu amane, ihhashi, umgobha womvundla kanye nokufisa kahle. Njengomuntu we-mojo. Njengonenekazi we-voodoo otshela ingcebo yakho ngokufafaza amasende embuzi. Konke kuyafana; 50/50. Ngakho-ke khetha izinkolelo zakho, uhlale phansi, wenze isifiso futhi ujabule. Futhi kulabo kini ababheka eBhayibhelini ngenxa yezimpawu zalo zokubhala nezifundo zokuziphatha; Nginezinye izindaba ezimbalwa engingakuncoma zona. Ungahle uthande Izingulube Ezintathu. Kuhle lokho. Inesiphetho esihle esijabulisayo. Bese kuba neHood Red Riding Hood. Yize inaleyo ngxenye e-x lapho i-Bad Wolf idla khona ugogo wayo empeleni. Ngale ndlela, anginendaba. Futhi okokugcina, bengilokhu ngidonsela induduzo enkulu yokuziphatha kuHumpty Dumpty. Ingxenye engiyithandile kakhulu: ... futhi wonke amahhashi enkosi nawo wonke amadoda enkosi ahlulekile ukubuyisela uHumpty ndawonye. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi akukho Humpty Dumpty futhi akekho uNkulunkulu. Akekho noyedwa. Akukaze kube njalo. Akekho uNkulunkulu. [UGeorge Carlin, osuka ku- “Uyagula.”] S ngoba akekho u-Humpty Dumpty futhi akekho uNkulunkulu. Akekho noyedwa. Akukaze kube njalo. Akekho uNkulunkulu. [UGeorge Carlin, osuka ku- “Uyagula.”] S ngoba akekho u-Humpty Dumpty futhi akekho uNkulunkulu. Akekho noyedwa. Akukaze kube njalo. Akekho uNkulunkulu. [UGeorge Carlin, osuka ku- “Uyagula.”]