Ukuze ulahle intukuthelo funa intethelelo

UShannon, osebenzisana naye enkampanini yabameli bendawo yaseChicago, wayeneklayenti elanikezwa ithuba lokuxazulula icala nomuntu owayencintisana naye kwezentengiselwano ngo- $ 70.000 nokuvalwa kwebhizinisi lalowo ancintisana naye.

“Ngixwayise iklayenti lami kaninginingi ukuthi ukuyisa umuntu esincintisana naye enkantolo kuzoholela kumklomelo omncane,” kusho uShannon. “Kodwa njalo uma ngiyichaza, ibingitshela ukuthi ayinendaba. Ubelimele futhi efuna ukuchitha usuku lwakhe enkantolo. Ubezimisele ukulimaza imbangi yakhe ngokuqhubekayo, noma ngabe lokho kungazizela yena uqobo. Lapho icala liqulwa, uShannon wanqoba, kepha njengoba bekulindelekile, ijaji linikeze iklayenti lakhe u- $ 50.000 kuphela futhi lavumela ozoncintisana naye ukuthi aqhubeke nebhizinisi. "Ikhasimende lami lishiye inkantolo limunyu futhi lithukuthele, yize liwinile," usho njalo.

UShannon uthi leli cala alijwayelekile. “Abantu ngokomthetho. Benza iphutha lokukholelwa ukuthi uma bengalimaza umuntu obonile, uma bengakwazi ukubakhokhela kuphela, bazozizwa bengcono. Kepha engikubonile ukuthi abazizwa bengcono, noma bengaphumelela bahlala benolaka olufanayo, futhi manje sebelahlekelwe yisikhathi nemali. "

UShannon uphawula ukuthi akasikiseli ukuthi abaphula umthetho abanakubekwa cala. "Angikhulumi ngezimo ezibucayi ezidinga ukuthi kuthathwe izinyathelo ezinengqondo," esho. "Ngikhuluma ngesikhathi lapho umuntu evumela isithunzi sesinqumo esibi somunye umuntu ukudlula impilo yakhe." UShannon uthi uma lokhu kwenzeka, ikakhulukazi uma kuyindaba yomndeni, ubona ukuthethelelwa nokuqhubekela phambili njengokuyigugu kakhulu kumakhasimende kunokuwina ngokomthetho.

“Owesifazane usanda kuza kimi ngoba ekholwa wukuthi udadewabo umkhohlisele isabelo sakhe sefa esivela kubaba wabo. Owesifazane wayeqinisile, kodwa imali yayingasekho futhi manje yena nodadewabo sebethathe umhlalaphansi, ”kusho uShannon. “Lo wesifazane ubevele esesebenzise amashumi ezinkulungwane zamarandi ukumangalela udadewabo. Wangitshela ukuthi wayengeke avumele udadewabo ukuba aphunyuke ngenxa yesibonelo azosibekela indodana yakhe esikhulile. Ngiphakamise ukuthi njengoba ingekho indlela yokubuyisa imali, mhlawumbe bekungaba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthi indodana ibuke umama wayo athethelele u-anti wakhe, ukuyibona izama ukuqala kabusha ubudlelwano ngemuva kokwephula ukwethembana. "

Ochwepheshe umsebenzi wabo ukusebenza nabantu njengoba behamba ezimweni ezinzima kakhulu zokuphila kuningi abasifundisa kona ngomphumela owonakalisayo wokubamba izinhlungu nentukuthelo eza nakho. Banikela nangemibono yokuthi ungaya kanjani phambili phakathi kwezinselelo zezimo ezixakile.

Intukuthelo iyanamathela
U-Andrea, usonhlalonhle osebenza emisebenzini yokuvikela izingane, uphawula ukuthi abantu ababanjwa yintukuthelo kaningi abazi ukuthi babanjiwe. Uthi: “Izinga lokunamathela kwalezi zinsalela ezingokomzwelo lingasicindezela. "Isinyathelo sokuqala ukubona ukuthi uyabandakanyeka kule nkinga engokomzwelo engathinta zonke izici zempilo yakho kusuka ekugcwaliseni ibhulukwe lakho kuze kube wenza umsebenzi."

U-Andrea ubona umucu ojwayelekile phakathi kwabantu abadlule entukuthelweni futhi balimala baze baphulukiswe futhi baphumelele. “Abantu abakwaziyo ukunqoba ubunzima bakhulise ikhono lokubhekisisa izimo zabo zempilo futhi babone ukuthi yini eyabehlela esikhathini esedlule akuyona iphutha labo. Lapho-ke, bekuqonda lokhu, bathatha isinyathelo esilandelayo sokubona ukuthi uma bethukuthele, ngeke bakwazi ukuthola ukuthula. Bafundile ukuthi ayikho indlela yokuthula ngentukuthelo. "

U-Andrea uthi esinye isici sabantu abaqinile amandla abo okuvumela imizabalazo yabo edlule, noma ngabe ibalulekile, ukuthi ibachaze. "Ikhasimende ebelinenkinga yokugula ngengqondo nokuba umlutha lithe kube khona impumelelo ngesikhathi umeluleki emsiza ukuthi aqonde ukuthi empilweni yakhe, ukuba kwakhe umlutha nokugula kwengqondo kufana nomunwe omncane," Uthi. “Yebo, bebekhona futhi beyingxenye yakhe, kepha bekukhona okuningi kakhulu kuye kunalezo zici ezimbili. Lapho amukela lo mbono, wakwazi ukuguqula impilo yakhe. "

U-Andrea uthi okufanayo nakubantu abazithola besesimweni esingesihle njengamakhasimende akhe. “Uma kukhulunywa ngentukuthelo, akunandaba ukuthi umuntu ubhekene nezimo ezinzima engizibonayo noma okunye okungaphezulu endaweni yempilo ejwayelekile yansuku zonke. Kungaba nempilo ukuthukuthela ngesimo, uthathe isenzo, bese uqhubeka. Okungenampilo wukuthi isimo siyakudla, ”usho kanje.

U-Andrea uphawula ukuthi ukuthandaza nokuzindla kungenza kube lula ukuba nozwelo kwabanye okudingekayo ukunqoba intukuthelo. "Ukuthandaza nokuzindla kungasisiza ukuthi sibheke kangcono izimpilo zethu futhi kungasisiza ukuthi singabi namathuba okuzicabangela thina bese siba nemizwa lapho okuthile kungahambi kahle."

Musa ukulinda uze ufike embhedeni wokufa
ULisa Marie, usonhlalonhle ophethe kahle, uphila ngokufa kwabantu abaningi minyaka yonke nemindeni ayisebenzelayo. Thola iqiniso ngesisekelo sencwadi ka-Ira Byock ngokufa, Izinto ezine ezibaluleke kakhulu (Izincwadi ze-Atria). “Uma abantu befa, badinga ukuzizwa bethandwa, bezwe ukuthi impilo yabo ibinenjongo, banikeze futhi bathole ukuxolelwa, futhi bakwazi ukuvalelisa,” usho kanje.

ULisa Marie ulandisa indaba yesiguli esehlukaniswe nodadewabo iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-20: “Udade weza ukuzombona; bekuyisikhathi eside engakaze ambone ukuthi ubesehlola isongo lasesibhedlela ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ngabe ngumfowabo ngempela yini. Kodwa wavalelisa wamtshela ukuthi uyamthanda. ULisa Marie uthi lo wesilisa washona ngokuthula ngemuva kwamahora amabili.

Ukholelwa ukuthi isidingo esifanayo sothando, incazelo, ukuthethelelwa nokuvalelisa nakho kuyadingeka ukuze sisebenze empilweni yansuku zonke. “Njengomzali, isibonelo, uma unosuku olubi nengane futhi ulwela ukuxolelwa, ungahle ube nesisu esibuhlungu. Ungahle ungakwazi ukulala, ”kusho uLisa Marie. "E-hospice, siyayiqonda ingqondo, umzimba, ukuxhumana ngokomoya futhi sikubona njalo."

Ukuzwela kukaLisa Marie ngentukuthelo eqinile nentukuthelo kungenzeka ukuthi kwazise indlela yakhe yokusebenza ngaphandle kombhede weziguli zakhe.

"Uma ungena egumbini wabona umuntu eboshiwe - umuntu oboshwe ngokomzimba - ubuzokwenza konke okusemandleni ukubakhulula," esho. “Uma ngihlangana nomuntu oboshwe ulaka nentukuthelo yakhe, ngiyabona ukuthi naye uboshelwe kuyo njengomuntu ohlobene ngokomzimba. Imvamisa lapho ngibona lokhu kunethuba lokusho okuthile ngobumnene, ukusiza umuntu ancibilike. "

KuLisa Marie, lezi zikhathi zimayelana nokuxhumeka ngokwanele kuMoya oNgcwele ukuze azi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokukhuluma nini. “Mhlawumbe ngimi ebaleni lokudlala nabanye abazali; mhlawumbe ngisesitolo. Lapho sizama ukuphila impilo uNkulunkulu asiphathele yona, silazi kangcono ithuba lokusetshenziswa njengezandla nezinyawo zikaNkulunkulu ”.