Ndimachita zachiwerewere komanso wochotsa mimbayo, otembenukira ku Medjugorje

Ndikukumbukira tsiku la mwezi wa February. Ndinali ku koleji. Nthawi ndi nthawi ndimayang'ana kunja pazenera ndikudzifunsa ngati Sara wachoka kale. Sara anali atakhala ndi pakati nthawi yochepa yomwe idatha ndikuyesera koyesa koyembekezera. Adatembenukira kwa ine kufuna thandizo, samadziwa choti achite. "Ndi kuchuluka kwa maselo," tidatero. Kenako lingaliro. Ndinkanyadira kuti ndalangiza Sara kuti achotse mimbayo. Ndinkakhulupirira ndi mtima wonse kuti ufuluwu umalola kuti azimayi azitha kugonana komanso azilamulira amayi, mpaka atathetsedwa. Ana anaphatikizidwapo.

Komabe china chake chinasweka patsikulo la mwezi wa February. Ngati ndinali wotsimikiza kwambiri pazikhulupiriro zanga, bwanji tsiku lokumbukira tsiku lomaliza, kununkhira kwa chipatala, misozi ya Sara ibwerera kwa ine chaka chilichonse? Chifukwa chiyani nthawi iliyonse ndikawona mwana wakhanda, ndimaganizira za chisankhochi ndichisoni chachikulu? Yankho lidabwera patadutsa zaka zingapo, pamsonkhano womwe ndidaphunzira nawo. Pamenepo, ndinazindikira kuti kutaya mimba kwenikweni ndi chiyani: kupha. Kapena m'malo mwake: zomwe ndimatcha kuti ufulu wochotsa mimba zinali kupha kambiri komwe mayi ndi mwana ndi omwe anali ovutitsidwa kwambiri kumene kuphedwa kwamkati kudawonjezeredwa. Ndinali m'gulu lino. Povomereza kuti ndichotse mimbayo, ndinapeza mwayi wamkati womwe sindinazindikire nthawi yomweyo. Dzenje laling'ono pamtima lomwe sindinasamale, ndilolowanso chidwi cha ntchito yabwino yomwe yangoyamba kumene komanso machitidwe omwe amapita momwemo.

Ndinali wadziko lonse wachitatu wokonzeka kulimbikitsa mtundu uliwonse wa ufulu womwe ungapangitse kuti anthu azikhala abwino komanso abwino, malinga ndi malingaliro omwe amalimbikitsidwa ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu wamba. Ndinkayeserera: kunena za Tchalitchi kumatanthauza zamanyazi, kufalitsa chuma, chuma chambiri, ansembe omwe chidwi chawo chinali kuchita zolakwika zina. Ponena za kukhalapo kwa Mulungu, ndinawona kuti ndi njira yopumira kwa azimayi achikulire omwe apuma pantchito. Mu maubale, ndidapeza abambo ali pamavuto kwambiri ndi amuna awo, ndikuwopsezedwa ndi ukali wa mzimayi ndikulephera kuyendetsa komanso kupanga zisankho. Ndinkawadziwa azimayi otopa (kuphatikiza inendekha) akutsogolera maubwenzi ndi abambo onga ngati ana amisala Ndinkakonda kukayikira akazi kapena amuna, pomwe ndimawona kulumikizana kwamphamvu ndi azimayi, komwe kunalimbikitsidwa nditayamba kupita kumisonkhano komanso zikhalidwe.

Zokambirana ndi ma zokambirana anali mphindi zakukangana pazinthu zamagulu, kuphatikizapo kusakhazikika kwa kukhalapo kwa anthu. Kuphatikiza pa ntchito, kusakhazikika pansi kunayamba pang'onopang'ono kuwononga gawo lazokonda. Zinali zofunikira kuyankha ndikulimbikitsa mitundu ya chikondi potengera momwe munthu akumvera komanso kudzipereka kwake, kupereka ufulu kwaubwenzi womwe ungathe kutsatira zomwe anthu akusintha, zomwe, malinga ndi lingaliro ili, banja lachilengedwe silibenso amatha kumasula. Zinali zofunikira kuti mumasulidwe ku ubale wa amuna ndi akazi, omwe akuonedwa kuti ndi osagwirizana osati owonjezera.

M'malo otetezeka motero, munthawi yochepa ndidapezeka kuti ndimakhala bwenzi langa. Zonse zidachitika m'njira yosavuta. Ndimamva kukhutitsidwa motero ndimakhulupirira kuti ndapeza ungwiro wamkati. Ndinali ndi chitsimikizo kuti pokhapokha ndi mkazi pafupi ndi ine pomwe ndipeza kuzindikira kwathunthu komwe kunali kuphatikiza koyenera kwamalingaliro, malingaliro ndi malingaliro. Pang'onopang'ono, pang'onopang'ono, kugawana komweku komwe kumakhazikitsidwa ndi azimayi chifukwa cha malingaliro abodza, kunayamba kundipatsa mphamvu kuti ndikhale wopanda pake kuchokera kubala kwa Sara.

Pothandizira mabodza abodza, kwenikweni, ndinali nditayamba kudzipha, kuyambira ndili mai. Ine ndimakana china chomwe chimaphatikizapo ubale wa mayi ndi mwana, koma kupitirira. M'malo mwake, mayi aliyense ndi mayi yemwe amadziwa kulandila ndi kulumikizana ndi anthu am'banja: banja, abwenzi komanso chikondi. Amayi amakhala ndi "mayi wofukulika" yemwe amapatsa moyo: ndi mphatso yomwe imapereka tanthauzo ku maubale, amawadzaza ndi zomwe amawateteza. Atandibera mphatso yamtengo wapataliyi, ndidapezeka kuti ndalandidwa chizindikiritso changa ndipo "kabowo kakang'ono kamtima mwanga" kapangidwa mwa ine, kamene kanakhala chiphokoso ndikakhala moyo wanga. Kupyola mu chiyanjano ndi mkazi, ndimayesera kutenga ukazi womwe ndidadzitchinjiriza.

Pakati pa chivomezi ichi, chiitano chosayembekezeka chidadza kwa ine: Ulendo waku Medjugorje. Ndi mlongo wanga yemwe adandifotokozera. Iyenso sanali wokonda Tchalitchi, osati wokonda zofanana ndi ine, koma zomwe zinali zokwanira kuti lingaliro lake lindiphulitse. Adandifunsa chifukwa anali atakhala komweko miyezi ingapo m'mbuyomu ndi gulu la abwenzi: adatulukira chidwi ndipo tsopano akufuna kugawana ndi ine zomwe, malinga ndi iye, zidasintha. Nthawi zambiri ankandiuza "sukudziwa tanthauzo" mpaka momwe ndidavomera. Ndidafunitsitsadi kuwona zomwe zinali pamenepo. Ndimamukhulupirira, ndimadziwa kuti anali munthu wololera ndipo chifukwa chake china chake chinayenera kuti chamukhudza. Komabe, ndinatsala ndi lingaliro langa: palibe chabwino chingachokere m'chipembedzo, kungoyambira pamalo pomwe anthu sikisi anati ali ndi maapulo omwe ine ndikutanthauza lingaliro logwirizana.

Ndi chuma changa chamalingaliro, tinachoka. Ndipo pali kudabwitsidwa. Nditamvetsera nkhani ya yemwe adakumana ndi izi (otsogola mwachindunji, madotolo, madotolo omwe adachita zofufuza), ndidazindikira malingaliro anga komanso momwe adandichititsira khungu ndikundiletsa kuwona zenizeni za chomwe chinali. Ndidasiya ndikukhulupirira kuti ku Medjugorje zonse zidali zabodza chifukwa kwa ine chipembedzo chinali chabodza ndikupanga kupondereza ufulu wa anthu okhulupilika. Komabe kukhudzika kwanga kumeneku kunayenera kuthana ndi choona chodziwikiratu: ku Medjugorje kunali mayendedwe amadzi akuchokera ku dziko lonse lapansi. Kodi zatheka bwanji kuti mwambowu ukhale wabodza ndikungoyimirira zaka zoposa makumi atatu?

Bodza silimakhala nthawi yayitali, pakapita kanthawi. M'malo mwake, pomvetsera maumboni ambiri, anthu akubwerera kwawo anapitiliza ulendo wachikhulupiriro, adayandikira ma sakaramenti, zochitika zodabwitsa zamabanja zinathetsedwa, odwala omwe adachiritsa, makamaka matenda a mzimu, monga zomwe timatcha nkhawa, nkhawa, paranoia, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimayambitsa kudzipha. Kodi panali chiyani ku Medjugorje chokwanira chokwanira kupulumutsa moyo wa unyinjiwo? Kapena bwinoko: anali ndani? Posakhalitsa ndidazindikira. Kunali Mulungu wamoyo amene amayang'anira ana ake kudzera m'manja mwa Mariya. Kupeza kumene kumeneku kunakhala ngati kumvetsera kwa maumboni a iwo omwe amapita kumalo amenewo ndipo adaganiza zokhala komweko kuti atumikire mdera lina ndikuwawuza amwendamnjira momwe amayiwa amagwirira ntchito molimbika kuti athe kuchotsa ana awo kusapuma. Kuganiza komweko komwe kunkandipeza kunali kokhala moyo komwe ndikanatha kugawana ndi omwe adakumana ndi zofanana ndi zanga, koma mosiyana ndi ine, adasiya kuyendayenda.

Kuyambira pamenepo, ndinayamba kudzifunsa mafunso: Kodi chowonadi chomwe chikanandibweretsa kuti ndikwaniritse zonse ndi chiyani? Kodi moyo womwe ndidapanga udafanana ndi zabwino zanga zenizeni kapena ndi zoyipa zomwe zidapangitsa kuti mabala am'badwo wa mzimu ukhale? Ku Medjugorje ndinakumana ndi chidziwitso cha Mulungu: kuvutika kwa iwo omwe amakhala moyo wosazunzika kunalinso kuvutika kwanga ndikumvetsera maumboni awo ndipo "chiwukitsiro" chawo chidatsegula maso anga, maso omwewo omwe m'mbuyomu adawona chikhulupiriro ndimayankho okondera. Tsopano, zokumana nazo za Mulungu izi "zomwe sizimawasiya ana ake okha ndipo koposa zonse siziri zowawa komanso zopanda chiyembekezo" zomwe zidayamba ku Medjugorje zidapitilira m'moyo wanga, ndikupita ku Misa Woyera. Ndili ndi ludzu la chowonadi ndipo ndinapeza mpumulo pokhapokha nditapeza chitsime cha madzi amoyo otchedwa Mawu a Mulungu. Apa ndipamene ndidapeza dzina langa, mbiri yanga, chizindikiritso changa; Pang'onopang'ono ndidamvetsetsa kuti Ambuye amakhazikitsa dongosolo loyambirira la mwana aliyense, lopangidwa ndi maluso ndi mikhalidwe yomwe imapatsa umunthu payekha.

Pang'onopang'ono, khungu lakumaso lomwe linasuntha chifukwa chake linasungunuka ndikuyamba kukayika mwa ine kuti maufulu a ufulu womwe ndimakhulupirira nthawi zonse, anali oyipidwa oyipidwa ngati abwino omwe amalepheretsa Francesca weniweni kutuluka mu umphumphu wake. Ndi maso atsopano, ndinayambira njira yomwe ndimayesa kumvetsetsa kuti ndiwe ndani. Ndidatenga nawo gawo pamisonkhano yapa pro-life ndipo pamenepo ndidadzifanizira ndi omwe adakhala ndi moyo wofanana ndi wanga, omwe anali ndi akatswiri amisala ndi akatswiri amisala pazinthu zokhudzana ndi kudziwika: pamapeto pake, ndidalibe ma lenile anzeru ndipo ndimakhala zenizeni. M'malo mwake, apa ndinaphatikiza zidutswa za zodabwitsazi zomwe zidakhala moyo wanga: ngati zidutswazo zisanabalalike ndikukhazikika, tsopano ndikuyamba kulamula kuti ndikuyamba kujambula chojambula: kugonana kwanga amuna anzanga Zotsatira zodziwika kuti ndi zachikazi komanso kuchotsa mimba. Zomwe ndimakhulupirira kwazaka zambiri zimatha kundidziwa bwino, zidandipha, kundigulitsa mabodza omwe adasinthidwa ngati chowonadi.

Kuyambira ndikuzindikira izi, ndinayamba kulumikizanso umunthu wanga, ndikutenga zomwe zandibera: ndekha. Lero ndili pabanja ndipo Davide akuyenda pafupi ndi ine, yemwe anali pafupi ndi ine panjira iyi. Kwa aliyense wa ife pali polojekiti yopangidwa ndi Yemwe ndi yekhayo angatitsogolere ku zomwe tili. Zonse zili zongonena kuti inde ngati ana a Mulungu, osaganizira kupha ntchitoyi ndi malingaliro abodza omwe sangalole m'malo mwathu ngati amuna ndi akazi.