Zolemba zabwino za George Carlin pa chipembedzo

George Carlin anali wamatsenga wosawoneka bwino, wotchuka chifukwa cha nthabwala zake, mawu achipongwe komanso malingaliro otsutsana pa ndale, chipembedzo ndi nkhani zina zovuta. Adabadwa pa Meyi 12, 1937 ku New York City kupita ku banja la Katolika laku Ireland, koma adakana chikhulupiriro. Makolo ake anapatuka ali mwana chifukwa bambo ake anali chidakwa.

Anapita kusukulu yasekondale ya Chiroma Katolika, komwe pamapeto pake anasiya. Adawonetsanso talente yoyamba ya sewero nthawi yachilimwe ku Camp Notre Dame ku New Hampshire. Adalowa nawo Gulu Lankhondo Laku US koma adazengedwa kangapo kukhothi ndipo adalangidwanso. Komabe, Carlin adagwirapo ntchito pa wailesi panthawi ya ntchito yake yankhondo, ndipo izi zikadapereka mwayi pa ntchito yake yamasewera, pomwe sanapewe zotsutsa, monga chipembedzo.

Ndi malingaliro omwe ali pansipa, mutha kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake Carlin adakana Chikatolika chifukwa chosakhulupirira kuti kuli Mulungu.

Kodi chipembedzo ndi chiani?
Tidalenga mulungu m'chifanizo ndi mawonekedwe athu!
Chipembedzo chatsimikizira dziko lapansi kuti kumwamba kuli munthu wosaoneka yemwe amayang'ana chilichonse chomwe umachita. Ndipo pali zinthu 10 zomwe sakufuna kuti muchite, chifukwa mukatero mudzapita kumalo oyaka ndi nyanja yamoto mpaka kumapeto kwamuyaya. Koma amakukondani! ... Ndipo amafunikira ndalama! Ndizonse zamphamvu, koma sizingayendetse ndalama! [George Carlin, kuchokera pagulu la "You You All matenda -" mutha kulipezanso m'buku la "Napalm ndi Silly Putty".)
chipembedzo ndi mtundu wa kukweza mu nsapato zanu. Ngati zimakupangitsani kumva bwino, ndibwino. Osangondifunsa kuti ndikavale nsapato zanu.
Maphunziro ndi chikhulupiriro
Ndili ndi zaka zisanu ndi zitatu za sukulu ya galamala yomwe imandidyetsa momwe ndingadzidalire komanso nzeru zanga. Anandipatsa zida zokanira chikhulupiriro changa. Anandiphunzitsa kufunsa mafunso ndikudziyesa ndekha ndikhulupilira zikhalidwe zanga mwakuti ndimangonena kuti: "Iyi ndi nthano yabwino yomwe akupita kuno, koma sizili kwa ine." [George Carlin mu New York Times - Ogasiti 20, 1995, p. 17. Adakalowa ku Cardinal Hayes High School ku Bronx, koma adasiya chaka chachiwiri mu 1952 ndipo sanabwerere sukulu. M'mbuyomu adapita kusukulu ya galamala ya Chikatolika, Corpus Christi, yomwe adayitcha sukulu yoyesera.]
M'malo momapemphera basi ndi sukulu, zomwe zimakangana, bwanji osakhala yankho limodzi? Pemphelo pabasi. Aloleni ana awa aziyendetsa tsiku lonse ndipo aloleni iwo apemphere kwa mitu yawo yaying'ono yopanda kanthu. [George Carlin, Brain Droppings]

Mpingo ndi dziko
Ili ndi pemphero laling'ono loperekedwa ku kulekanitsa mpingo ndi dziko. Ndikuganiza kuti ngati angakakamize ana amenewo kuti apempherere m'masukulu, atha kukhala ndi pemphero lokongola motere: Atate wathu amene ali kumwamba ndi kukayikira komwe ayimilira, ufumu wanu ukubwera, dziko losawoneka bwino kumwamba, atipatsa lero pomwe tikhululuka omwe timawapatsa moni monyadira. Valani zabwino zanu poyeserera koma mutipulumutse ku nthawi yamadzulo. Ameni ndi Awomen. [George Carlin, mu "Saturday Night Live"]
Ndimakondwera kwambiri ndi kulekanitsa mpingo ndi dziko. Malingaliro anga ndikuti mabungwe awiri awa atiwonongera iwo okha, chifukwa chake tonse ndife amodzi.
Nthabwala zachipembedzo
Ndili ndi ulamuliro wofanana ndi papa, koma ndilibe anthu ambiri amene amakhulupirira izi. [George Carlin, Brain Droppings]
Yesu anali wovala pamtanda [George Carlin, Brain Droppings] Alla
Ndinavomereza Yesu, osati monga mpulumutsi wanga, koma monga munthu amene ndimafuna kubwereketsa ndalama. [George Carlin, Brain Droppings]
Sindingafune konse kukhala membala wa gulu lomwe chizindikiro chake chinali mwana womangidwa kumitengo iwiri. [George Carlin, kuchokera pagulu la “Malo Anga Wokhalira Nawo”]
Mwamuna wina adabwera kwa ine pamsewu ndipo adandiuza kuti ndasokonezedwa ndi mankhwala koma tsopano ndimasokonezeka ndi Jeeesus Chriiist.
Chinthu chokhacho chomwe chimatuluka m'chipembedzo chinali nyimbo. [George Carlin, Brain Droppings]

Kanani chikhulupiriro
Ndikufuna kuti mudziwe, zikafika pokhulupirira Mulungu, ndimayesetsa. Ndidayesadi. Ndidayesa ndikukhulupirira kuti pali mulungu yemwe adatilenga aliyense m'chifanizo ndi mawonekedwe ake, amatikonda kwambiri ndipo samayang'ana zinthu. Ndayesetsa kuyikhulupirira, koma ndiyenera kukuwuzani, mukakhala nthawi yayitali, mukamayang'ana kwambiri, mumazindikira ... china chake ndi F-KED UP. China chake chalakwika apa. Nkhondo, matenda, imfa, chiwonongeko, njala, dothi, umphawi, kuzunza, umbanda, ziphuphu ndi Ice capades. Pali china chake cholakwika. INO si ntchito yabwino. Ngati uyu ndiye mulungu wabwino kwambiri yemwe angachite, Sindikhudzidwa. Zotsatira ngati izi sizikhala muchidule cha kukhala wamkulu kwambiri. Umu ndi mtundu wa zoyipa zomwe mungayembekezere kuchokera ku ofesi yomwe ili ndi malingaliro oyipa. Ndipo pakati pa iwe ndi ine, m'chilengedwe chilichonse chabwino, munthu uyu akanakhala kuti anali pa bulu wamphamvuyonse kale. [George Carlin, wochokera ku "Wadwala."]
Pamapemphero
Masiliyoni ndi matrilioni a mapemphero tsiku lililonse amafunsira, kufunsa ndikufunsira zabwino. 'Chitani ichi' 'Ndipatseni kuti' 'Ndikufuna galimoto yatsopano' 'Ndikufuna ntchito yabwinoko'. Ndipo mapemphero ambiri amachitika Lamlungu. Ndipo ndikunena bwino, pemphererani chilichonse chomwe mungafune. Tipempherere chilichonse. Koma ... nanga bwanji zaumulungu? Mukukumbukira? Zomwe Mulungu adapanga kalekale Mulungu adapanga chikonzero chaumulungu. Ndaganizapo kwambiri. Ndinaganiza kuti linali pulani yabwino. Yesetsani. Ndipo kwa mabiliyoni ndi mabiliyoni azaka zambiri chikonzero cha Mulungu chachita bwino. Tsopano bwerani mudzapempherere kena kake. Tiyerekeze kuti chinthu chomwe mukufuna sichili mu dongosolo la Mulungu. Kodi mukufuna ndichitenji? Sinthani mapulani anu? Zanu zokha? Kodi simukuwoneka ngati wamwano pang'ono? Ndi chikonzero chaumulungu. Ndi cha ntchito yanji kukhala Mulungu ngati shabby schmuck ali ndi buku la mapemphero la madola awiri akhoza kubwera ndikuwononga dongosolo lanu? Ndipo pali chinthu china, vuto lina lomwe mungakhale nalo; tiyerekeze kuti mapemphero anu alibe yankho Kodi mukuti chiyani? 'Inde, ndi chifuniro cha Mulungu. Kufuna kwa Mulungu kuchitika.' Inde, koma ngati kuli kufuna kwa Mulungu ndipo mulimonsemo angachite chilichonse chomwe angafune; bwanji munthu wofunsayo amapemphera kaye? Zikuwoneka kwa ine kutaya nthawi yayikulu. Kodi simungamangodumphira mbali yopempherayo ndikupeza zofuna zake? [George Carlin, wochokera ku “Mukudwala.”] Koma ngati chiri chifuno cha Mulungu ndipo achita zomwe akufuna; bwanji munthu wofunsayo amapemphera kaye? Zikuwoneka kwa ine kutaya nthawi yayikulu. Kodi simungamangodumphira mbali yopempherayo ndikupeza zofuna zake? [George Carlin, wochokera ku “Mukudwala.”] Koma ngati chiri chifuno cha Mulungu ndipo achita zomwe akufuna; bwanji munthu wofunsayo amapemphera kaye? Zikuwoneka kwa ine kutaya nthawi yayikulu. Kodi simungamangodumphira mbali yopempherayo ndikupeza zofuna zake? [George Carlin, wochokera ku "Wadwala."]
Kodi mukudziwa kuti ndimapemphera kwa ndani? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Zifukwa ziwiri; choyambirira, ndikuganiza kuti ndiwosewera wabwino. Chabwino. Izi ndi zofunika kwa ine. Chachiwiri; amawoneka ngati munthu amene amatha kuchita zinthu. Joe Pesci sizikuyenda bwino konse. Sizimayendayenda. Zowonadi, a Joe Pesci adazindikira zinthu zingapo zomwe Mulungu adakumana ndi mavuto. Kwa zaka zambiri ndakhala ndikupempha Mulungu kuti achitire kena kake mnansi wopanda phokoso ndi galu woluma. Joe Pesci adawongola owononga aja ndi kuyendera. [George Carlin, wochokera ku "Wadwala."]
Ndazindikira kuti pa mapemphero onse omwe ndimapemphera kwa Mulungu, komanso pamapemphelo onse omwe ndikupereka kwa Joe Pesci, yankho lili pafupifupi 50 peresenti. Hafu ya nthawi yomwe ndimapeza zomwe ndikufuna. Theka la nthawi ayi. Monga mulungu 50/50. Monga chovala chokhala ndi masamba anayi, kavalo, kavalo ndi kukhumba bwino. Monga munthu wa mojo. Monga mayi wa voodoo yemwe akuuza chuma chanu mwa kufinya ma testicles ambuzi. Zonse ndi chimodzimodzi; 50/50. Chifukwa chake sankhani zikhulupiriro zanu, khalani pansi, pangani zofuna zanu ndikusangalala. Ndi kwa inu omwe mumayang'ana m'Baibulo chifukwa cha malembedwe ake komanso maphunziro ake amakhalidwe abwino; Ndili ndi nkhani zingapo zomwe ndingakulimbikitseni. Mutha kukonda Matumbwa Aang'ono Atatu. Ndiye yabwino. Ili ndi mathero abwino osangalatsa. Ndiye pali Little Red Riding Hood. Ngakhale ili ndi gawo lowerengera pomwe Bad Wolf amadya agogo ake. Mwa njira, sindinasamale. Pomaliza, nthawi zonse ndakhala ndikulimbikitsa kwambiri zikhalidwe kuchokera kwa Humpty Dumpty. Gawo lomwe ndimakonda kwambiri: ... ndipo akavalo onse amfumu ndi amuna onse amfumu adalephera kubweza Humpty pamodzi. Izi ndichifukwa palibe Humpty Dumpty ndipo kulibe Mulungu. Palibe. Palibe. Sizinakhalepo. Palibe Mulungu. [George Carlin, kuchokera ku “Wodwala.”] S chifukwa kulibe Humpty Dumpty ndipo kulibe Mulungu. Palibe. Sizinakhalepo. Palibe Mulungu. [George Carlin, kuchokera ku “Wodwala.”] S chifukwa kulibe Humpty Dumpty ndipo kulibe Mulungu. Palibe. Sizinakhalepo. Palibe Mulungu. [George Carlin, kuchokera kwa “Mukudwala.”]