Kalata yochokera ... "ZOONA" komanso zodabwitsa

CHINSINSI
Ndipo Vicariatu Urbis, wamwalira 9 aprilis 1952

Aloysius Traglia
Archive. Kaisare. Vicesgerens

Clara ndi Annetta, achichepere kwambiri, amagwira ntchito ku kampani yamalonda ku *** (Germany).
Sanalumikizidwe ndiubwenzi wambiri, koma mwaulere. Amagwira ntchito tsiku lililonse pafupi wina ndi mnzake ndipo kusinthana kwa malingaliro sikungasoweke. Clara adadzionetsa kuti ndi wachipembedzo ndipo adawona kuti ali ndi udindo wophunzitsa Annetta, pomwe anali wopepuka komanso wokonda kunena za chipembedzo.
Adakhala nthawi yayitali limodzi; kenako Annetta adakwatirana ndikusiya kampaniyo. M'dzinja la chaka chimenecho. Clara anathera tchuthi chake m'mphepete mwa Nyanja ya Garda. Pakati pa Seputembala, amayi ake adamutumizira kalata kuchokera kudziko lakwawo: «Annetta adamwalira. Anamuika dzulo mu "Waldfriedhof" ».
Nkhaniyi idakhumudwitsa mayi wabwino uja, podziwa kuti mnzakeyo sanali wopemphera kwambiri. - Kodi anali wokonzeka kudzipereka pamaso pa Mulungu? ... Atamwalira mwadzidzidzi, adapezeka bwanji? - -
Tsiku lotsatira anamvera Holy Mass ndipo anapanganso mgonero mgonero wake, ndikupemphera kolimba mtima. Usiku, mphindi khumi pambuyo pausiku, masomphenyawo adachitika ...

"Clara. osandipempherera! Ndaweruzidwa! Ndikakuuzani ndipo ndikukuuzani zautali. musakhulupilire kuti izi zimachitika ngati ubale. Sitikondanso wina aliyense pano. Ndimachita monga mokakamizidwa. Ndimachita ngati "gawo lamphamvu zomwe nthawi zonse zimafuna zoipa ndipo zimachita zabwino."
Zowonadi ndikufuna ndikadakuonaninso inu mdziko muno, pomwe ndasiya nangula wanga kwamuyaya.
Osakwiya ndi izi. Apa, tonse timaganiza choncho. Chifuniro chathu chimayikidwa mu zoyipa mu zomwe inu mumazitcha kuti "zoyipa" -. Ngakhale pamene tichita "zabwino", monga momwe ndikutsegulira maso anga ku Gahena, izi sizichitika ndi cholinga chabwino.
Kodi mukukumbukirabe kuti zaka zinayi zapitazo tidakumana ku **** Mudali ndi zaka 23 ndipo mudali kale komweko kwa theka la chaka nditafika.
Munandichotsa pamavuto; ngati woyamba, munandipatsa ma adilesi abwino. Koma kodi "zabwino" zikutanthauza chiyani?
Ndinkayamika "kukonda kwanu". Zachinyengo! Kupumula kwanu kunabwera kuchokera ku maphikidwe oyera, komanso, ndinkaganiza kale kuyambira pamenepo. Sitikudziwa chilichonse pano. Palibe.
Mukudziwa nthawi ya ubwana wanga. Ndidzaza mipata pano.
Malinga ndi lingaliro la makolo anga, kunena zowona, sindikadakhala kuti ndidakhalako. "Zidali vuto chabe kwa iwo." Alongo anga awiri anali ndi zaka 14 ndi 15 zakubadwa, pamene ine ndimakonda kuchita bwino.
Sindinakhalepo! Ndikadatha kudziwononga ndekha, kuthawa mavuto awa! Palibe kudzitsitsa kofananira ndi zomwe ndikanasiya kukhalapo; monga suti ya phulusa, yosataika pachabe.
Koma ndiyenera kukhalapo. Ndiyenera kukhalapo chonchi, monga momwe ndidadzipangira: ndalephera.
Pamene abambo ndi amayi, akadali achichepere, amasamukira kumidzi kupita ku mzinda, onse adasiya kulumikizana ndi Tchalitchi. Ndipo zinali bwino motere.
Ankamverana chisoni ndi anthu omwe siali a mpingo. Anakumana pamsonkhano wovina ndipo patatha theka la chaka "amayenera" kukwatiwa.
Pamwambo waukwati, madzi oyera ambiri adakhalabe ndi iwo, zomwe amawo amapita kutchalitchi Lamlungu Lamlungu kangapo pachaka. Sanandiphunzitsenso kupemphera kwenikweni. Anali wotopa ndi chisamaliro cha moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, ngakhale mkhalidwe wathu sunali wovuta.
Mawu, monga Mass, maphunziro azachipembedzo, Tchalitchi, ndimawanena ndi chisangalalo chamkati chosawoneka. Ndimanyansidwa nazo zonsezi, chifukwa ndimadana ndi iwo omwe amapita kutchalitchi komanso ambiri amuna ndi zinthu zonse.

Ndimadana ndi Mulungu

Kuchokera pachilichonse, pamakhala kuzunzidwa. Chidziwitso chilichonse cholandiridwa pa nthawi ya kufa, kukumbukira kwazinthu zomwe zidakhalako kapena kudziwika, kwa ife ndi lawi lamanyazi.
Ndipo zikumbukiro zonse zimatisonyeza mbali yomwe idali chisomo mwa iwo komanso yomwe tidanyoza. Sitimadya, sitimagona, sitimayenda ndi mapazi athu. Mwa omangidwa mwa uzimu, timawoneka odedwa "ndi mkokomo ndi mano opera" moyo wathu wapita utsi: kudana ndi kuzunzidwa!
Kodi mukumva? Apa timamwa udani ngati madzi. Komanso kwa wina ndi mnzake.
Koposa zomwe timadana ndi Mulungu, ndikufuna kuti zizimveka.
Odala m'Mwamba ayenera kumukonda, chifukwa amamuwona wopanda chophimba, mu kukongola kwake. Izi zimawamenya kwambiri kotero kuti sangathe kufotokozedwa. Tikudziwa ndipo kudziwa izi kumatipangitsa kukhala okwiya.
Amuna padziko lapansi, omwe amadziwa Mulungu kuchokera ku chilengedwe ndi vumbulutso, amatha kumukonda; koma sakakamizidwa kutero.
Wokhulupirira - ndikunena kuti ndikumukutira mano - amene, poganizira Yesu pamtanda, ndi manja otambasuka, pamapeto pake amamukonda.
Koma iye, yemwe Mulungu amamufikira mu mkuntho, ngati wowalanga, monga wobwezera wolungama, chifukwa tsiku lina adakanidwa ndi iye, monga zidatichitikira. Amatha kumuda iye, ndi chidwi chonse cha zoyipa zake zoyipa, kwamuyaya, chifukwa cha kuvomereza kwaulere komwe, mwa kufa, tidafafaniza moyo wathu ndikuti ngakhale pakadali pano tikuchoka ndipo sitidzakhalanso ndi chidwi choziletsa.
Kodi mukumvetsa tsopano chifukwa chake gehena amakhala kosatha? Chifukwa zovuta zathu sizingasungunuke kwa ife.
Kukakamizidwa, ndikuwonjezera kuti Mulungu amatichitira chifundo. Ndikunena kuti "wokakamizidwa", chifukwa ngakhale nditanena izi mwadala, sindimaloledwa kunama, monga momwe ndimafunira. Ndimatsimikizira zinthu zambiri motsutsana ndi kufuna kwanga. Ndiyeneranso kuponyera kutentha kwa kuzunza, komwe ndikanakonda kusanza.
Mulungu adatichitira ife chifundo posalola kuti zoipa zathu zichitike padziko lapansi, monga tikadakhala okonzeka kuchita. Izi zikadachulukitsa machimo athu ndi zowawa zathu. M'malo mwake, adatipha nthawi, ngati ine, kapena adapangitsa zochitika zina zobwezera.
Tsopano akutichitira chifundo posatikakamiza kuti timuyandikire kuposa momwe tili m'dera lakutali lanjali; Izi zimachepetsa chizunzo.
Gawo lirilonse lomwe lingandibweretse kwa Mulungu limandibweretsera zowawa zazikulu kuposa zomwe zingakubweretsereni pafupi ndi mtengo woyaka.
Mumachita mantha, pomwe ine nthawi ina, ndikuyenda, ndinakuuzani kuti bambo, masiku angapo mgonero wanu woyamba usanachitike, anati kwa ine: "Annettina, yesani kuvala zovala zabwino: zotsalazo ndi chimango".
Chifukwa cha mantha anu ndikadakhala ndikuchita manyazi. Tsopano ndimaseka za izi.
Chokhacho chanzeru mu mzerewo chinali chakuti kulowa mgonero kumakhala ndi zaka khumi ndi ziwiri zokha. Panthawiyo, ndinali wotengeka kwambiri ndi zosangalatsa za dziko lapansi, kotero kuti sindinayike nyimbo mwamphumphu ndipo sindinkalemekeza kwambiri Mgonero woyamba.
Ana ambiri tsopano apita ku Mgonero ali ndi zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri, zimatikwiyitsa. Timachita zonse zomwe tingathe kuti anthu amvetsetse kuti ana alibe chidziwitso chokwanira. Ayenera kuchita machimo oyamba.
Kenako Particle yoyera siziwonanso zowonongeka mwa iwo, monga pamene chikhulupiriro, chiyembekezo ndi chikondi zikakhalabe m'mitima yawo - puh! zinthu izi - cholandiridwa mu Ubatizo. Mukukumbukira momwe adachirikiza kale malingaliro awa padziko lapansi?
Ndatchula bambo anga. Nthawi zambiri ankakangana ndi mayi. Ndinkangotchula izi kawirikawiri; Ndinachita manyazi nazo. Ndi chamanyazi bwanji chopanda pake! Kwa ife pano zonse ndi zofanana.
Makolo anga sanagonenso m'chipinda chimodzi; koma ine ndi amayi ndi abambo m'chipinda choyandikana, komwe amatha kumabwera kunyumba momasuka nthawi iliyonse. Adamwa kwambiri; Mwanjira imeneyi adalanda cholowa chathu. Alongo anga onse anali pantchito ndipo iwonso amafunikira, iwo anati, ndalama zomwe amapeza. Amayi adayamba kugwira ntchito kuti apeze kenakake.
M'chaka chomaliza cha moyo wawo, abambo nthawi zambiri amamenya amayi awo pomwe sanafune kuwapatsa chilichonse. Kwa ine, komabe, iye anali wachikondi nthawi zonse. Tsiku lina - ndinakuwuzani za izi ndipo inu, ndiye kuti mwakomoka (bwanji simunadandaule za ine?) - tsiku lina amayenera kubweza, kawiri, nsapato zidagulidwa, chifukwa mawonekedwe ndi zidendene sizinali zamakono kwa ine.
Usiku womwe bambo anga adagwidwa ndi munthu wakupha kwambiri, china chake chidachitika kuti ine, ndikuwopa kutanthauzira konyansa, sindingathe kukudalirani. Koma tsopano muyenera kudziwa. Ndikofunikira pa izi: ndiye kwa nthawi yoyamba kuti ndidatsutsidwa ndi mzimu wanga wamazunzo uno.
Ndinagona m'chipinda ndi amayi anga: kupuma kwake pafupipafupi kumati kugona kwambiri.
Ndikadzamva nditaitanidwa ndi mayina.
Mawu osadziwika akundiuza: “Kodi chingachitike ndi chiyani bambo akamwalira?

Kukonda m'miyoyo yokhala ndi chisomo

Sindimakondanso bambo anga, chifukwa amamuchitira mwankhanza amayi awo; monga kale sindinakonde aliyense kuyambira pamenepo, koma ndinali kokha, ndimakonda anthu ena. amene anali zabwino kwa ine. Chikondi chopanda chiyembekezo cha kusinthana kwapadziko lapansi chimangokhala m'miyoyo yokha yopatsa chisomo. Ndipo ine sindinali.
Chifukwa chake ndidayankha funso lodabwitsa. Mosazindikira kuti lidachokera kuti: "Komatu sufa!"
Nditapumira pang'ono, funso lomweli lomanenanso. "Koma musafe!" adandithawanso, modzidzimutsa.
Kachitatu ndidafunsidwa kuti: "Kodi chingachitike ndi chiyani bambo ako akamwalira?". Zidandipeza momwe abambo nthawi zambiri amabwerera kunyumba ataledzera, opsinjika, amayi, komanso momwe adatidziwira kukhala wonyozeka pamaso pa anthu. Chifukwa chake ndidafuulira mokwiyitsa: "Zikumuyeneretsa!" Kenako zonse zinangokhala chete. M'mawa mwake, amayi atafuna kukonza chipinda cha abambo, adapeza chitseko chiri chokhoma. Pafupifupi masana chitseko chinakakamizidwa. Abambo anga, ovala bwino, atagona pabedi. Atapita kukatenga mowa m'chipinda chapansi pa nyumba, ngozi ina iyenera kuti inachitika. Kwa nthawi yayitali kudwala.
Marta K ... ndipo inu mwanditsogolera kuti ndikhale nawo m'gulu la Achinyamata. Kwenikweni, sindinabise kuti ndapeza malangizo a oyang'anira awiri, azimayi X, kuti agwirizane ndi mafashoni a parishi ...
Masewera anali osangalatsa. Monga mukudziwa, ndinali ndi gawo mwachindunji. Izi zidandikwanira.
Ndimakondanso maulendo. Ndinkalolera kuti ndizitsogozedwa kangapo kuti ndipite ku Confession ndi Mgonero.
M'malo mwake, ndinalibe chobvomereza. Malingaliro ndi malankhulidwe sizinakhale ndi vuto kwa ine. Pazakuchita zochulukirapo, sindinakhale woipa kokwanira.
Munandilangiza kamodzi kuti: "Anna, ngati sukupemphera, pita ku chitayiko!".
Ndinkapemphera pang'ono komanso, izi, mosasankha.
Kenako munalakwitsa. Onse amene amawotchedwa ku Gahena sanapemphere kapena sanapemphere mokwanira.

MALO OYAMBIRA KWA MULUNGU

Pemphero ndi gawo loyamba lopita kwa Mulungu ndipo limakhalabe gawo lotsimikiza. Makamaka pemphero kwa Iye yemwe anali Amayi a Khristu - dzina lomwe sitinatchulepo.
Kudzipereka kumulanda mizimu yambirimbiri kuchokera kwa mdierekezi, komwe tchimo limamupereka kwambiri.
Ndikupitiliza nkhaniyo, ndikudziwotcha ndi mkwiyo. Ndi chifukwa choti ndiyenera kutero. Kupemphera ndichinthu chophweka kwambiri chomwe munthu angachite padziko lapansi. Ndipo ndizofanana ndi chinthu chophweka ichi kuti Mulungu wamanga chipulumutso cha aliyense.
Kwa iwo omwe amapemphera ndi kupirira, Iye pang'onopang'ono amapereka kuwala kochuluka, kumalimbitsa iye mwanjira yoti kumapeto kwake ngakhale wochimwa wotsika kwambiri atha kudzuka. Inasefukiridwanso m'njira yofikira khosi.
M'masiku omaliza a moyo wanga sindinapemphererenso monga ndiyenera ndipo ndidadzichotsera zokongoletsa, popanda wina amene angapulumutsidwe.
Apa sitimalandiranso chisomo chilichonse. Inde, ngakhale titawalandira, tikadawakana. Kusintha konse kwa kukhalapo kwapansi pano kwatha m'moyo uno wina.
Kuchokera kwa inu padziko lapansi munthu akhoza kuuka kuchokera ku mkhalidwe wauchimo kupita kudziko la Chisomo ndikuchokera ku Chisomo nkugwera m'tchimo, nthawi zambiri chifukwa cha kufooka, nthawi zina chifukwa cha zoipa.
Ndi imfa izi zikuwuka ndikugwa, chifukwa zimayambira mu ungwiro wa munthu wapadziko lapansi. Tafika tsopano kumapeto.
Zaka zikamapitirira, kusintha kumakhala kocheperako. Ndizowona, mpakaimfa nthawi zonse umatha kutembenukira kwa Mulungu kapena kusiya. Komabe, atatengeka ndi zomwe zachitika, mwamunayo, asanamwalire, otsalira otsiriza otsiriza a chifuno, amakhala ngati momwe amachitira kale.
Chikhalidwe, chabwino kapena choyipa, chimakhala chikhalidwe chachiwiri. Izi zimamukoka.
Izi zidandichitikiranso. Kwa zaka zambiri ndakhala kutali ndi Mulungu. Chifukwa chake pakuyitanidwa komaliza kwa Chisomo ndidatsimikiza mtima kutsutsana ndi Mulungu.
Sichinali choti ndimakonda kuchimwa zomwe zidandibera, koma kuti sindimafuna kuukanso.
Mwandichenjeza mobwerezabwereza kuti ndimvere maulaliki, kuti ndiziwerenga mabuku azachipembedzo.
"Ndilibe nthawi," yankho langa linali wamba. Tinafunikanso china chowonjezera kukayika kwanga kwamkati!
Komanso, ndiyenera kuzindikira kuti: popeza anali atadutsa kwambiri, nditatsala pang'ono kuchoka ku Association Association, ndikadakhala kovuta kwambiri kuti ndikhale m'njira yina. Ndinkakhala wopanda nkhawa komanso wosasangalala. Koma khoma linaima patsogolo pa kutembenuka.
Simuyenera kuti munayikayikira. Munaziyimira zosavuta, tsiku lina mutati kwa ine: "Koma vomera, Anna, ndipo zonse zili bwino."
Ndinkamva kuti zingakhale chonchi. Koma dziko, mdierekezi, thupi lidandigwira kale mwamphamvu m'malingaliro awo.

DEMONI AMAKHALA NDI ANTHU

Sindinakhulupirire kutengera kwa mdierekezi. Ndipo tsopano ndikuchitira umboni kuti ali ndi mphamvu pa anthu omwe anali mumkhalidwe womwe ndidalimo panthawiyo.
Mapemphero ambiri okha, a anthu ena ndi ine, ophatikizika ndi zopereka komanso mavuto, ndi omwe angandichotsereko kwa iye. Ndipo nazonso, pang'ono ndi pang'ono. Ngati pali owonerera ochepa kunja, kumakhala kovuta mkati. Mdierekezi sangathe kulanda ufulu waulere wa iwo omwe amadzipereka ku chisonkhezero chake. Koma akumva kuwawa, ampatuko ampatuko ochokera kwa Mulungu, amalola "woipayo" kukhalamo.
Ndimadananso ndi satana. Komabe ndimamukonda, chifukwa amafuna kuwononga inu nonse; Ndimadana naye ndi ma satellites ake, mizimu yomwe idagwa naye kumayambiriro kwa nthawi.
Amawerengedwa mamiliyoni. Amayendayenda padziko lapansi, ali ngatiwisi ndipo sazindikira.
Sikuti ife tiyesenso kukuyesani; uwu ndi udindo wa mizimu yakufa.
Izi zimakulitsa chizunzo nthawi iliyonse yomwe amakoka moyo wamunthu pansi pano kwa Odwala. Koma kodi sizidana ndi chiyani?
Ngakhale ndimayenda munjira zakutali ndi Mulungu, Mulungu adanditsatira.
Ndinakonza njira yopita ku Grace ndi zachifundo zachifundo, zomwe nthawi zambiri ndimachita mwa kupsa mtima.
Nthawi zina Mulungu amandikopa kutchalitchi. Kenako ndinamverera ngati mphuno. Pomwe ndimawathandiza amayi odwala, ngakhale anali pantchito masana, komanso m'njira yodzipereka ndekha, zokopa za Mulungu izi zimachita mwamphamvu.
Nthawi ina, kutchalitchi chachipatala, komwe mudanditsogolera pa nthawi yopuma masana, china chake chidabwera pa ine chomwe chikadakhala gawo limodzi kutembenuka kwanga: Ndinalira!
Komatu chisangalalo cha dziko chinadutsanso ngati mtsinje pa Chisomo.
Tirigu anali kutsamira pakati paminga.
CHITSANZO CHOMALIZA
Nditalengeza kuti chipembedzo ndimaganizo, monga nthawi zonse zimanenedwa kuofesi, ndidasinthanso kuyitanira kwa Grace uku monga wina aliyense.
Mukanditemberera chifukwa mmalo mofananirana pansi, ndinangopanga uta wopanda mawonekedwe, ndikugwada. Munaziwona ngati ulesi. Simunawonekere ngati mukukaikira
kuti kuyambira pamenepo sindimakhulupiriranso za kukhalapo kwa Khristu mu sakaramenti.
Tsopano ndikukhulupirira, koma mwachilengedwe, monga timakhulupirira mu namondwe yemwe zotsatira zake zimawonekera.
Pakadali pano, ndidadzipangira chipembedzo ndekha.
Ndidachirikiza lingaliro, lomwe lidali lofala muofesi yathu, kuti mzimu ukatha kufa umawukanso kukhala chinthu china. Mwanjira imeneyi amadzapitilirabe kuyendayenda kosalekeza.
Ndi izi nkhawa yofunsa moyo wam'mbuyo idayikidwa nthawi yomweyo ndipo idandipweteketsa.
Chifukwa chiyani simunandikumbutsire za fanizo la munthu wachuma komanso Lazaro wosauka, yemwe wolemba nkhaniyo, Khristu, amatumiza, atangomwalira, wina kupita ku Gahena ndi wina kupita Kumwamba? ... Kupatula apo, mukadakhala ndi chiyani zopezeka? Palibe china kuposa zokambirana zanu zina!
Pang'onopang'ono ndidadzipanga Mulungu; ali ndi mphatso zokwanira kutchedwa Mulungu; Kutali kwambiri ndi ine kuti sindiyenera kukhalabe naye paubwenzi; Sindimadziwa bwino kuti ndingalole, popanda kusintha chipembedzo changa, kuti ndifanane ndi mulungu wapadziko lapansi, kapena kuti ndidzipereke kuti ndiyesedwe ndakatulo ngati mulungu. Mulungu uyu alibe gehena kuti andibweretsere ine. Ndidamsiya ndekha. Uku kudali kupembedza kwanga kwa iye.
Zomwe zimakondweretsa zimakhulupirira mwakufuna kwawo. Kwa zaka zambiri ndimakhala wotsimikiza za chipembedzo changa. Mwanjira imeneyi mutha kukhala moyo.
Chinthu chimodzi chokha chikadandithyola khosi: kupweteka kwakuya, kwakuya. Ndipo zowawa izi sizinabwere!
Tsopano mvetsani tanthauzo la izi: "Mulungu amalanga iwo amene amawakonda!"
Linali Lamulungu mu Julayi, pomwe Gulu la Achinyamata linakonza ulendo wopita * * *. Ndikadakonda ulendowu. Koma malankhulidwe opusa awa, kuchita mwano!
Simulacrum ina yosiyana kwambiri ndi ya Madonna of * * * posachedwa idayima paguwa lamtima wanga. Maonekedwe abwino a Max N ... ochokera ku malo ogulitsira. Tidalumikizana limodzi kangapo.
Kungoti Lamlungu lomwelo adandiitanira paulendo. Yemwe amapita naye nthawi zambiri anali atagona m'chipatala.
Amamvetsetsa bwino kuti ndidayang'ana. Sindinkaganiza zodzakwatirana naye nthawi imeneyo. Anali womasuka, koma amakhalidwe abwino kwambiri kwa atsikana onse. Ndipo ine, kufikira nthawi imeneyo, ndimafuna munthu yemwe ndi wanga yekha. Osangokhala mkazi, koma mkazi yekha. M'malo mwake, nthawi zonse ndinali ndimakhalidwe ena achilengedwe.
Pamaulendo omwe tawatchulawa Max adadzikulitsa yekha pakukomera mtima. E! eya, palibe zokambirana zachinyengo zomwe zidachitika ngati pakati panu!

MULUNGU "AMODZI" NDI KULENGA

Tsiku lotsatira, muofesi, mwanditonza kuti sindinabwere nanu ku ***. Ndakufotokozerani zosangalatsa zanga pa Sabata imeneyo.
Funso lanu loyamba linali: "Kodi mwapita ku Mass?". Opusa! Ndingathe bwanji, nditazindikira kuti kunyamuka kudali kale kale kwa zisanu ndi chimodzi?!
Mukudziwa momwe ndinawonjezerera mosangalala kuti: "Ambuye wabwino alibe malingaliro ocheperako ngati zomwe mumakonda!".
Tsopano ndikuyenera kuvomereza: Mulungu, ngakhale ali ndi mphamvu zopanda malire, amayeza zinthu mosamalitsa kuposa ansembe onse.
Pambuyo pa tsiku limenelo ndi Max, ndinabweranso ku Association: pa Khrisimasi, kudzachita phwando. Pali china chomwe chinandinyengerera kuti ndibwerere. Koma mkati ndinali ndayamba kale kuchoka kwa inu.
Cinema, kuvina, maulendo amapitilira. Max ndi ine tidakangana kangapo, koma ndimadziwa momwe ndingamupangire kuti abwerere kwa ine.
Molestissirna adandilowa m'malo mwa wokonda winayo, yemwe adabwera kuchokera kuchipatala ndikukhala ngati mayi wopsinjika. Mwamwayi kwa ine: popeza bata langa labwino lidakhudza kwambiri Max, ndidatsimikiza mtima kuti ndimakonda.
Ndinamupangitsa kuti azidana naye, kuyankhula mosawoneka: kunja koyipa, poyizoni wakhungu. Malingaliro ndi malingaliro oterewa amakonzekera Gahena bwino. Amachita za diabolosi mlingaliro lolimba la mawu.
Chifukwa chiyani ndikukuwuzani izi? Kuti ndinene momwe ndidadzipezera ndekha kuchoka kwa Mulungu.
Kupatula apo, sikuti ine ndi Max tidakumana kawirikawiri. Ndinamvetsetsa kuti ndikadadzitsitsa m'maso mwake ngati ndikadalolera kupita patsogolo pake; chifukwa chake ndidatha kuletsa.

Koma palokha, nthawi iliyonse ndikaganiza kuti ndizothandiza, nthawi zonse ndimakhala wokonzeka kuchita chilichonse. Ndinafunika kugonjetsa Max. Palibe chomwe chinali chodula kuposa chimenecho. Kupatula apo, pang'ono ndi pang'ono, tidakondana wina ndi mnzake popanda kukhala ndi makhalidwe ofunikira, zomwe zidatipangitsa kuti tizikondana. Ndinali waluso, wokhoza, wokhala pagulu labwino. Chifukwa chake ndidamugwira mwamphamvu Max m'manja ndipo ndidakwanitsa, miyezi ingapo yapitayo ukwati usanachitike, kukhala ndekha kukhala nawo.

"NDINAYESA CATHOLIC ..."

Izi zimaphatikizapo kupanduka kwanga kwa Mulungu: kukweza cholengedwa ku fano langa. Izi sizingachitike, kotero kuti zimaphatikizira chilichonse, monga chikondi cha munthu kapena mnzake, pomwe chikondichi chimangokhala chokhutira ndi zinthu zapadziko lapansi.
Izi ndi zomwe zimapangitsa chidwi chake. chilimbikitso chake ndi poyizoni wake.
"Kupembedza" komwe ndidadzipatsa ndekha mwa a Max, ndidakhala chipembedzo changa.
Inali nthawi yomwe muofesi ndidadziyipitsa poyipa ndikusiya matchalitchi amatchalitchi, ansembe, kukhululukirana, kusinthana kwa rosaries ndi zamwano zomwezi.
Mwayesera, mwanzeru kapena zochepa, kuti muteteze zinthu zotere. Zikuwoneka kuti, popanda kukayikira kuti mkati mwanga sikunali kwenikweni pazinthu izi, ndimangoyang'ana kuti ndikhale ndi chiyembekezo chotsutsana ndi chikumbumtima changa ndiye ndimafunikira thandizo loterolo kuti ndilungamitse mpatuko wanga komanso chifukwa.
Kupatula apo, ndinatembenukira Mulungu. Simunamumvetsetse; Ndinkaonabe kuti ndine Mkatolika. Zowonadi, ndimafuna kuti azitchedwa kuti; Ndinkalipira ngakhale misonkho yachipembedzo. "Inshuwaransi yotsutsa" inayake, ndimaganiza, siyingavulaze.
Mayankho anu akhoza kugunda nthawi zina. Sanandigwiritsitse, chifukwa simunayenera kukhala olondola.
Chifukwa cha maubwenzi osokonekera pakati pa tonse awiriwa, kupweteka kwa chibwenzi chathu kunali kopanda kanthu pamene tidasiyana paukwati wathu.
Asanakwatirane ukwati ndidavomereza ndikuyankhulanso. Zinayikidwa. mwamuna wanga ndi ine timaganizanso zomwezi pamenepa. Chifukwa chiyani sitiyenera kumaliza mwambo? Ifenso tinamaliza monga miyambo ina.
Mumayesa mgonero kuti ndi wosayenera. Pambuyo pa Mgonero "wosayenera" uwu, ndinali wodekha chikumbumtima changa. Komanso, inali yomaliza.
Banja lathu nthawi zambiri limakhala logwirizana. M'malingaliro onse tinali amodzi ofanana. Ngakhale izi: kuti sitikufuna kunyamula katundu wa ana. Kwenikweni amuna anga akadakondwera; basi, ayi. Pomaliza ndidatha kumuwonjezera pa izi.
Zovala, mipando yapamwamba, hangouts wa tiyi, maulendo ndi maulendo apamtunda, ndipo zododometsa zoterezi zidandikhudzanso kwambiri.
Zinali zaka zachisangalalo padziko lapansi zomwe zidadutsa pakati paukwati wanga ndikumwalira mwadzidzidzi.
Timapita mgalimoto Lamlungu lililonse, kapena kuchezera abale a mwamuna wanga. Anayandama pamadzipo, osatinso ochepera kuposa ife.
Mkati, zachidziwikire, sindinakhalepo wokondwa, koma kunja ndimaseka. Nthawi zonse pamakhala china chake chamkati, chomwe chimandikukuta. Ndinkalakalaka kuti ndikadzamwalira, zomwe zimayenera kukhala kutali kwambiri, zonse zitha.
Koma zili choncho, monga tsiku lina, ndili mwana, ndinamva mu ulaliki: kuti Mulungu amapereka mphotho iliyonse yabwino yomwe munthu amachita ndipo, ngati sangathe kuubwezera m'moyo wina, adzayichita padziko lapansi.
Mosayembekezereka ndinali ndi cholowa kuchokera kwa Aunt Lotte. Mwamuna wanga anakwanitsa kubweretsa malipiro ake. Chifukwa chake ndidatha kukonza nyumba yatsopano m'njira yokongola.
Chipembedzo sichinatumizenso mawu ake, opanda phokoso, ofooka komanso osatsimikizika, ochokera kutali.
Ma cookes amumzindawu, mahotela, komwe timapita maulendo, sizitibweretsa kwa Mulungu.
Onse omwe ankakonda kukhala malo amenewo amakhala, ngati ife, kuchokera kunja mpaka mkati, osati kuchokera mkati kupita kunja.
Ngati nthawi ya tchuthi timayendera mpingo wina, timayesetsa kudzipanga tokha mu zojambula zamtokoma. Mpweya wabwino womwe umatha, makamaka zakale, ndimadziwa momwe ndingazisinthire ndikudzudzula zochitika zina zokomera: wozungulira wopanda pake kapena wovala mosayera, yemwe adawongolera; chitonzo chomwe amonke, omwe amafuna kudutsa achikunja, adagulitsa zakumwa; belu losatha la zinthu zopatulika, pomwe likufunsidwa kuti lipange ndalama ...
MOTO WA HELL
Chifukwa chake ndimatha kuthamangitsa Grace kuti asandichokere nthawi iliyonse yomwe amagogoda.
Sindinasinthe machitidwe anga oyipa makamaka machitidwe ena akale a Gahena m'manda kapena kwina kulikonse. Momwe mdierekezi amafesa miyoyo yofiyira ndi mitanda yofiyira, pomwe amzake, okhala ndi michira yayitali, amakokera omwe akumenya kumene. Clara! Gahena ikhoza kukhala yolakwika kuti ijambule, koma sipapita patali kwambiri!
Nthawi zonse ndimangoyang'ana moto wa Gahena mwapadera. Mukudziwa monga nthawi yamkangano pankhaniyi. Nthawi ina ndidasewera masewera pansi pa mphuno yanga ndikunena mwamwano: "Kodi zikumveka chonchi?".
Mumazimitsa moto. Apa palibe amene angazimitse. Ndikukuuzani: moto wotchulidwa m'Baibulo sutanthauza kuzunza chikumbumtima. Moto ndi moto! zikuyenera kumvetsetsa zomwe ananena: "Chokani kwa ine, wotembereredwa, kumoto wamuyaya!". Kwenikweni.
"Kodi mzimu ungakhudzidwe bwanji ndi moto wakuthupi," mungafunse. Kodi moyo wanu ungavutike bwanji padziko lapansi mukayika chala chanu pamoto? M'malo mwake s kutentha moyo; Komatu kupweteketsa mtima konse kumvako!
Momwemonso ndife okhudzana ndi uzimu pano ndi moto pano, malinga ndi chikhalidwe chathu komanso monga mphamvu zathu. Miyoyo yathu ilibe mapiko amtundu wake wachilengedwe, sitingaganize zomwe tikufuna kapena momwe tikufunira.
Musadabwe ndi mawu anga awa. Dzikoli, lomwe silikukuuzani chilichonse, limandiwotcha osandidya.
Chizunzo chathu chachikulu chimakhala kudziwa motsimikiza kuti sitidzamuonanso Mulungu.
Kodi kuzunzidwa kotereku kumatha bwanji, popeza m'modzi padziko lapansi pano alibe chidwi?
Malingana ngati mpeni wagona pagome, umakusiyirani kuzizira. Mukuwona kuti ndi lakuthwa bwanji, koma simukumva. Viyikani mpeniwo mu nyama ndipo mudzayamba kukuwa ndi ululu.
Tsopano tikumva kutayika kwa Mulungu, tisanangoganiza izi.
Sikuti mizimu yonse imavutika chimodzimodzi.
Ndi kuchuluka kwa zolakwa zomwe munthu wamachimwa komanso momwe adachitira mwadongosolo kwambiri, kutaya kwambiri kwa Mulungu kumam'pweteka kwambiri ndipo momwe cholengedwa chomwe amamuzunza chimamupweteketsa.
Achikatolika ogwidwa ndi ma Katolika amavutika kwambiri kuposa zipembedzo zina, chifukwa amalandila ndi kupondaponda miyeso yambiri komanso kuwala kwambiri.
Iwo amene amadziwa zochuluka, amavutika kwambiri kuposa omwe amadziwa zochepa. Iwo amene adachimwa chifukwa cha zoyipa adamva zowawa kwambiri kuposa iwo omwe adatuluka ofooka.
MUTU: NTHAWI Yachiwiri
Palibe amene amavutika kuposa momwe amayenera. O, ngati izi sizinali zoona, ndikadakhala ndi chifukwa chodana ndi!
Munandiuza tsiku lina kuti palibe amene amapita ku Gahena osakudziwa: izi zikanaululidwa kwa woyera mtima. Ndidaseka. Koma ukandimangirira kumbuyo kwa mawu awa:
"Chifukwa chake ngati pakufunika thandizo, padzakhala nthawi yokwanira yotembenukira," ndidadziuza mwamseri.
Mawu amenewo ndi olondola. Kwenikweni ndisanathe mwadzidzidzi, sindinadziwe Gahena momwe zilili. Palibe wachivundi amene angazidziwe izi. Koma ndimadziwa bwino kuti: "Ngati mungafe, mudzapita kudziko lapansi zowongoka molunjika ngati muvi wotsutsana ndi Mulungu.
Sindinazichite kumbuyo, monga ndanenera kale, chifukwa chokokedwa ndi zomwe zikuchitika masiku ano, zomwe zimayendetsedwa ndikugwirizana ndi zomwe amuna, okulirapo akamakalamba, momwemonso amachita mbali yomweyo.
Imfa yanga zinachitika motere. Sabata yapitayi ndimalankhula molingana ndi kuwerengera kwanu, chifukwa, ndikufanizira zowawa, nditha kunena bwino kuti ndakhala ndikuwotcha ku Gahena zaka khumi. Sabata yapita, chifukwa chake, ine ndi mwamuna wanga tinapita paulendo wa Lamlungu, womaliza kwa ine.
Tsiku linali litawala. Ndimamva bwino kuposa kale. Ndinkakhala ndi chisangalalo choyipa, chomwe chinkandivuta tsiku lonse.
Mwadzidzidzi, pobwerera, mwamuna wanga adadzidzimuka ndi galimoto youluka. Adalephera.
"Jesses" adathawa milomo yanga ndikunjenjemera. Osati ngati pemphero, kokha ngati kulira. Ndikumva ululu wosaneneka. Poyerekeza ndi mphatsoyo bagatella. Kenako ndinapita.
Zachilendo! Mosadabwitsa, malingaliro amenewo adayamba mwa ine m'mawa mwake: "Mungathe kupita ku Mass." Zinkamveka ngati pembedzero.
Omveka bwino komanso osasunthika, "ayi" wanga adapeza zowoneka bwino. “Ndi zinthu izi uyenera kuzichita kamodzi. Zotsatira zonse zili pa ine! " - Tsopano ndikubwera nawo.
Mukudziwa zomwe zinachitika nditamwalira. Tsoka la mamuna wanga, la amayi anga, zomwe zidachitika ku mtembo wanga komanso momwe ndimakhalira ndimaliro amandidziwira mwatsatanetsatane mwazidziwitso zachilengedwe zomwe tili nazo pano.
Komanso, zomwe zimachitika padziko lapansi, timangodziwa zopanda pake. Koma zomwe mwanjira inayake zimatikhudza kwambiri, timadziwa. Chifukwa chake ndimawonanso komwe mumakhala.
Ndidadzuka mwadzidzidzi kumdima, nthawi yomweyo. Ndinadziwona nditagubudwa ndi kuwala kowala.
Munali pamalo omwe mtembo wanga wagona. Zinachitika ngati m'bwalo la zisudzo, pomwe magetsi amatuluka mwadzidzidzi mu nyumbayo, nsalu yotchinga imagawanika mokulira ndikuwunikira kosawoneka bwino. Zochitika m'moyo wanga.
Monga mu kalilole mzimu wanga unadziwonetsa wokha. Zosalazo zinaponderezedwa kuyambira paunyamata mpaka chomaliza "ayi" pamaso pa Mulungu.
Ndimamva ngati wakupha. kwa ndani. Panthawi yoweruzira milandu, womenyedwayo wopanda moyo amabweretsedwa pamaso pake. Lapani? Sichoncho! ... Manyazi pa ine? Ayi!
Koma sindingathe kukana pansi pa maso a Mulungu wokanidwa ndi ine. Palibe chinthu chimodzi chotsalira: kuthawa.
Pamene Kaini anathawa mtembo wa Abele, momwemonso mzimu wanga unayendetsedwa ndi zozizwitsa zija.
Uwu ndi chiweruziro chake: woweruza wosawonekayo adati: "Choka kwa ine!".
Kenako mzimu wanga, ngati mthunzi wachikaso cha sulufule, unagwera kumalo a chizunzo chamuyaya ...

Clara akumaliza:
M'mawa, pakumveka kwa Angelus, ndikunjenjemera ndi usiku wowopsa, ndidadzuka ndikuthamangira masitepe kupita ku chapel.
Mtima wanga unali kugunda mpaka kummero kwanga. Alendo owerengeka, atagwada pafupi ndi ine, amandiyang'ana, koma mwina amaganiza kuti ndasangalala ndi kukwera.
Mayi wina wabwino wochokera ku Budapest, yemwe amandiona, adanena pambuyo akumwetulira: - Abiti, Ambuye akufuna kuti azithandizidwa modekha, osati mwachangu!
Koma kenako adazindikira kuti china chake chidandisangalatsa ndipo chikundipangitsabe kupsinjika. Ndipo pamene mayiyo amandiuza mawu ena abwino, ndimaganiza: Mulungu yekha ndiye akwanira!
Inde, Iye yekha ayenera kundikwanira mu izi ndi m'moyo wina. Ndikufuna kuti tsiku lina ndidzasangalale nayo m'Paradaiso, chifukwa ndimitengo yambiri bwanji padziko lapansi. Sindikufuna kupita ku Gahena!