Kwa Lenti, kanizani mkwiyo kuti mukhululukire

Shannon, mnzake mu kampani yazamalamulo ku Chicago, anali ndi kasitomala yemwe adapatsidwa mwayi woti athetse mlandu ndi wopikisana naye pamalonda $ 70.000 komanso kutseka bizinesi ya mpikisano.

"Ndinachenjeza kasitomala wanga kangapo kuti kupita kupikisana naye kukhothi kumabweretsa mphotho yaying'ono," akutero Shannon. “Koma nthawi iliyonse ndikawafotokozera, amandiuza kuti sasamala. Anali atavulala ndipo amafuna kukhala tsiku lake lonse kukhothi. Anali wofunitsitsa kupweteketsa mnzake yemwe amapikisana naye, ngakhale zitamubweretsera mavuto. Mlanduwo utazengedwa, Shannon adapambana, koma monga momwe amayembekezeredwa, oweruza adapatsa kasitomala wake $ 50.000 yokha ndikulola wopikisana naye kukhalabe mu bizinesi. "Wogulitsa wanga adachoka kukhothi ali wokwiya komanso wokwiya, ngakhale adapambana," akutero.

Shannon akuti nkhaniyi si yachilendo. "Anthu ambiri. Amalakwitsa pokhulupirira kuti ngati atha kuvulaza amene wawalakwitsa, atangowalipira, adzamva bwino. Koma zomwe ndikuwona ndikuti samva bwino, ngakhale akapambana amabweretsa mkwiyo womwewo, ndipo tsopano ataya nthawi ndi ndalama. "

Shannon akuti sakunena kuti olakwira sangayimbidwe mlandu. "Sindikulankhula zazosangalatsa zomwe zimafunikira kuchitapo kanthu," akutero. "Ndikulankhula za pomwe wina alola mthunzi wa chisankho choyipa cha wina kuti asokoneze moyo wawo." Shannon akuti izi zikachitika, makamaka ngati zili banja, amawona kukhululuka ndikupita patsogolo ngati kasitomala wofunika kwambiri kuposa kupambana pamalingaliro.

“Mayi wina adabwera kwa ine posachedwa chifukwa amakhulupirira kuti mchemwali wake adamunyengerera gawo lake la cholowa kuchokera kwa abambo awo. Mayiyo anali kunena zoona, koma ndalama zinali zitachoka ndipo tsopano iye ndi mlongo wake anapuma pantchito, ”akutero Shannon. “Mayiyo anali atawononga kale madola masauzande masauzande ambiri kuti akaimbire mlandu mchemwali wake. Anandiuza kuti sangalole kuti mlongo wake apulumuke ndi chitsanzo chomwe adzapatse mwana wake wamwamuna wamkulu. Ndinaganiza kuti popeza sipadzakhala njira yobwezera ndalamazo, mwina zingakhale zofunika kwambiri kuti mwanayo awone amayi ake akukhululukira azakhali awo, kumuwona akuyesa kuyambiranso chibwenzi pambuyo poti wasiya kukhulupirirana. "

Akatswiri omwe ntchito yawo imagwira ntchito ndi anthu pamene akuyenda movutikira kwambiri pamoyo ali ndi zambiri zoti atiphunzitse za kuwononga komwe kumabwezeretsa ululu ndi mkwiyo womwe umadza nawo. Amaperekanso malingaliro amomwe angapitirire patsogolo pakati pamavuto azovuta.

Mkwiyo ndi wowuma
Andrea, wogwira ntchito zachitetezo yemwe amagwira ntchito zachitetezo cha ana, akuti anthu omwe amakwiya nthawi zambiri samadziwa kuti agwidwa. Iye anati: "Mphamvu zokhala ndi zotsalira za m'maganizo zitha kutidetsa nkhawa." "Gawo loyamba ndikuzindikira kuti mukutengapo gawo pamavuto omwe angakhudze gawo lililonse la moyo wanu kuyambira pakudzaza zovala zanu mpaka kugwira ntchito."

Andrea amawona ulusi wamba pakati pa anthu omwe adakwiya ndikumva kuwawa ndikuchita bwino. “Anthu omwe amatha kuthana ndi zovuta akwanitsa kuyang'ana mozama mmoyo wawo ndikuzindikira zomwe zinawachitikira m'mbuyomu sikulakwa kwawo. Kenako, pomvetsetsa izi, amatenga gawo lina kuti azindikire kuti ngati ali okwiya, sangapeze mtendere. Aphunzira kuti palibe njira yopezera mtendere kudzera mu mkwiyo. "

Andrea akuti chikhazikitso china cha anthu olimba mtima ndikulephera kwawo kulola zovuta zawo zakale, ngakhale zitakhala zazikulu, kuti ziwatanthauze. "Wothandizira amene anali ndi vuto la matenda amisala komanso kuledzera adati chipambano chidabwera pomwe mlangizi adamuthandiza kumvetsetsa kuti m'moyo wake, kusuta kwake komanso matenda amisala anali ofanana ndi chala chaching'ono," Akutero. "Inde, adalipo ndipo anali gawo la iye, koma panali zambiri zoposa izi kuposa izi. Atalandira lingaliro ili, adatha kusintha moyo wake. "

Andrea akuti zomwezo zimapita kwa anthu omwe amapezeka kuti ali m'mavuto ochepa kuposa makasitomala ake. “Ndikakhala ndi mkwiyo, zilibe kanthu kuti munthu akukumana ndi zovuta zomwe ndikuwona kapena zina zambiri mu moyo watsiku ndi tsiku. Zimatha kukhala bwino kukwiya pakachitika zinazake, kuchitapo kanthu, ndikupitabe patsogolo. Chomwe sichili bwino ndikuti zinthu zimakuwonongerani, ”akutero.

Andrea akuti kupemphera ndi kusinkhasinkha kumapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kukhala ndi chifundo kwa ena omwe amafunikira kuti athetse mkwiyo. "Kupemphera ndi kusinkhasinkha kungatithandizire kukhala oyang'anitsitsa miyoyo yathu ndipo kungatithandizenso kuti tisakhale okonda kudzikonda komanso kutengeka mtima pamene china chake chalakwika."

Osadikirira mpaka mutafa
Lisa Marie, wogwira ntchito zachitetezo, amakhala ndi anthu ambiri amafa chaka chilichonse ndi mabanja omwe amawatumikira. Pezani chowonadi potengera buku la Ira Byock lonena zaimfa, Zinthu Zinayi Zomwe Zimafunika Kwambiri (Mabuku a Atria). "Anthu akamwalira, amafunika kumva kuti amakondedwa, kumva kuti moyo wawo wakhala watanthauzo, kupereka ndi kulandira chikhululukiro, komanso kuti athe kutsanzika," akutero.

Lisa Marie akusimba nkhani ya wodwala yemwe wakhala akutalikirana ndi mlongo wake kwa zaka zoposa 20 kuti: “Mlongoyo anabwera kudzamuwona; Anakhala atapita kalekale kuti amuwone kuti adamuyang'ana chibangiri chachipatala kuti atsimikizire kuti analidi mchimwene wake. Koma adatsanzika ndikumuuza kuti amamukonda. Lisa Marie akuti mwamunayo adamwalira mwamtendere patatha maola awiri.

Amakhulupirira kuti kufunikira komweku kwa chikondi, tanthauzo, kukhululuka ndi kutsanzikana ndikofunikanso kuti zigwire ntchito pamoyo watsiku ndi tsiku. “Monga kholo, mwachitsanzo, ngati simukuyenda bwino ndi mwana wanu ndipo mukuvutika kuti mumukhululukire, mwina mumakhala ndi vuto m'mimba. Mwina sungagone, ”akutero Lisa Marie. "Ku hospice, timamvetsetsa malingaliro, thupi, kulumikizana kwauzimu ndipo timaziwona nthawi zonse."

Kuona kwa Lisa Marie kukwiya kwambiri komanso kukwiya mwina kumamuwuza njira yodutsa pambali ya odwala ake.

"Mukalowa mchipinda ndikuwona wina ali kapolo - wina womangidwa thupi lonse - mutha kuchita zomwe mungathe kuti mumumasule," akutero. “Ndikakumana ndi munthu womangika ndi mkwiyo wawo ndi mkwiyo, ndimawona kuti nawonso amamangiriridwa monga munthu womangika. Nthawi zambiri ndikawona izi pamakhala mwayi wonena kanthu modekha, kuti munthuyo asungunuke. "

Kwa Lisa Marie, mphindi izi ndizokhudza kulumikizidwa mokwanira ndi Mzimu Woyera kuti adziwe nthawi yakulankhula. “Mwina ndayima pabwalo la masewera ndi makolo ena; mwina ndili mushopu. Pamene tikuyesera kukhala moyo umene Mulungu watipatsa, timadziwa bwino za mwayi woti tigwiritsidwe ntchito ngati manja ndi mapazi a Mulungu ”.