Ungabanceda njani abantwana bathande izihlobo zabo
Kwiveki ephelileyo, xa bendisemsebenzini, kwafika i-imeyile evela kumhlobo wam uMachelle. Ndiqaphele ukuba ibinesihloko esithi "Ikhefu," ndiye ndangcangcazela xa ndicofa ukuyivula. UMachelle unabantwana abane abancinci kwaye ayingomntu wokundithumelela amanqaku ngee-antics ezintle; ukuba isihloko yayingu "lekhefu," yayiyinto eyayingalunganga ngekhefu, kokubini kubantwana bakhe nakwam.
Ndikhawuleze ndayifunda i-imeyile. Bendinyanisile. Unyana wakhe okwibanga lesihlanu weza kuye, elila, ngexesha lekhefu xa wayehamba enkulisa ngenjikalanga. Abanye abafana eklasini yakhe babengamvumeli ukuba adlale ibhola yomnyazi.
Njengoko besitshintshiselana ngeimeyile, ndiye ndawabona amagama amakhwenkwe akhethekileyo afana nalawo ndandikhe ndive rhoqo, kubantwana bam nakwabanye abazali. Ndibajonga njengabafana "abangamakhwenkwe alpha"; Abanye abazali babebabiza ngokuba ngabaxhaphazi. Isikolo savumelana nomgaqo wesibini, kwaye emva kokuba uMachelle ethethile notitshala wonyana wakhe, inkwenkwe nganye yafumana inyathelo lokuqala lesilumkiso kwinkqubo yokuthintela ukuxhaphaza esikolweni.
Isikolo yenye yezona ndawo kunzima ukuba abantwana bethu baphile umyalelo kaYesu wokuba bathande abamelwane babo. Iwebhu entsonkothileyo yokunxibelelana kwezentlalo kuthetha ukuba abantwana bahlala behlekisa ngendawo kwigumbi labo lokufundela. Ukunceda abantwana bafikelele ekusebenzisaneni koontanga ngokwembono yobuKristu kunokuba nzima xa oontanga babo benokuba ne-ajenda eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo engenanto yakwenza "nothando lwabamelwane" nayo yonke into enxulumene nokuseka amandla.
Abazali ababambe ukulindela komntwana wabo ngendlela yokubaphatha abanye, nangona kunjalo, bafumanisa ukuba abantwana babo bazithemba ngakumbi ekuhambeni kwexesha. Ngokuzithemba kuza nentlonipho yabafundi ofunda nabo, kwaye ukuba kukho abantwana ngokwaneleyo "abaziphethe kakuhle", abo bantwana - hayi abo baxhaphaza abanye - ekugqibeleni bayabeka ithoni kwiklasi.
Nika umntwana wakho amabinzana aziintloko
UMichele Borba, umbhali wabazali uyawenza umahluko: indlela yokukhulisa abantwana abaneempawu ezomeleleyo, iingqondo ezomeleleyo kunye neentliziyo ezikhathaleleyo (uJossey-Bass), wathi abazali nootitshala banokubanceda abantwana bafumane amagama kunye namabinzana ukwenza abantu baziva kamnandi. Imizekelo yakhe ibandakanya: Ndiyithandile. Ndiyavuya ubuyile. Yonke into intle? Ndinganceda njani? Ubonakala wothukile.
Bancede baxolelwe kwaye baxolelwe
Icawe yethu isinika izibonelelo ezinamandla zokunceda abantu abadala kunye nabantwana boyise olona lwalamano lunzima. Abazali abakuqondayo oku banika abantwana babo isipho sokuhamba nabo xa bebadala. Veki nganye, xa besifunda uBawo Wethu Phambi kwe-Ekaristi, sithi: "Usixolele ukona kwethu ngelixa sibaxolela abo basonayo".
Ukuba uyazi ukuba umntwana wakho ubeneveki enzima esikolweni ngemicimbi yobuhlobo, thetha ngokuxolela ngaphambi kweMisa kwaye umcele ukuba ahlawule ingqalelo ngamanye amaxesha acele uxolelo. Ukuba ubambe izandla zakho ngexesha likaTata Wethu, nika umntwana wakho umshicileli omfutshane ngexesha lokuxolelwa. Cinga ngokuya kumthendeleko woXolelwaniso ngamaxesha anzima. Ngenye imini, emva kokuba usapho lwethu luye kuxolelwaniso, unyana wethu uLiam, owayeneminyaka esi-8 ngoko, wasabela ngokubaleka kwindawo yokupaka yecawa emva koko. "Ndiziva ndilula kakhulu!" Usixelele ngengcaciso.
Bancede ukuba babandakanywe
UYesu wayalela abalandeli bakhe ukuba xa besenza isidlo akufuneki bameme izihlobo, abamelwane abazizityebi, okanye izalamane, kodwa endaweni yoko bameme abo bangakwaziyo ukubabuyekeza (Luka 14: 12-24). Singabafundisa abantwana bethu ukuba balandele umzekelo kaYesu ngokubakhuthaza ukuba bacwangcise imihla yokuhlawula kunye nabantwana abanokungabandakanywa: umntwana othulileyo akukho mntu ubonayo; umntwana ongahlali kufutshane nabanye abantu; Umntwana ubhalwe "akapholi". Ngelixa abantwana kufanele ukuba babe nokuzikhethela ukuba bameme bani ekhaya, abazali banokunika isikhokelo ukunceda abantwana boyise ukhetho olucacileyo: abo bantwana badumileyo wonke umntu acinga ngaye kuqala.