Ukholo kunye nomthandazo kwamnceda woyisa uxinzelelo

Da UPaolo Tescione - Maggio 9, 2020

NgeCawa yePasika, ikhalenda ibhengezwe eludongeni lwekhitshi lam. Benza iingobozi zabantwana ngamaqanda abo anemibala e-neon kunye nemivundla ye-marshmallow. Kwaye iimpahla zethu zecawe entsha.

UJamie, oneminyaka eli-13 ubudala, kunye noKatie, oneminyaka eli-11 ubudala, babenxibe iilokhwe ezinamachaphaza anjengeyam, kunye noThomas, oneminyaka emithathu ubudala, ngokuzingca benxibe ibhatyi encinci. I-Ista yayijikeleze macala onke.

Kutheni le nto i-Ista ingekho ngaphakathi kum?

"Jonga!" umyeni wam uRick watsho xa siphuma ngaphandle. “Umthi weeperile uyatyatyamba! Ixesha lokuqala oko satyala! "

Andikhumbuli nokuba sinemithi yamapere. Yintoni ingxaki ngam, Nkosi? Kwenzekile ngesiquphe, le mvakalelo ingwevu, imnyama kwaye ayinathemba.

Ecaweni, kukhwazwa "Ipasika emnandi!" wasiqhushumisa ngebhombu. "Pasika emnandi!" Ndenza isikhwenene, ndilinganisa uncumo oluqaqambileyo lwabahlobo bam. Beka ubuso obonwabileyo. Luhlobo luni lomKristu olubuhlungu ngePasika?

Ndazixelela ukuba yexeshana nje. Kodwa ngo-Epreli nango-Meyi badlula ngendlela efanayo. Ndilibele ukutya, bendiphungula umzimba, bendingakwazi nokulala. Umama wayefuna ukuba ndibone ugqirha wam, kodwa ndingathini kuye: "Ndiziva ndibuhlungu kodwa akukho sizathu sokwenza oko"?

Kananjalo, bekungafanelekanga ukuba amaKristu avuye eNkosini? Yonke iminyaka yam engama-34 bendiye kwiinkonzo ezimbini zecawe rhoqo ngeCawa, ngolwesiBini ngobusuku, ngolwesiThathu ebusuku Amantombazana ayesebenza xa ndandisemncinci, kule ndibano yokuthandaza kunye noRick.

Baza kucinga ntoni bonke abantu ukuba bebesazi ukuba ndibubona obu bumnyama ngaphakathi, ukuba ndiyasilela kuThixo ngolu hlobo?

Mhlawumbi ndifuna nje ukutshintsha kwendawo. NgoJuni, xa siye ekhefini, izinto beziya kuba zahlukile.

Ekuqhubeni ukuya kwiGulf Coast yaseFlorida, ndazama ukujoyina uRick kunye nezicwangciso zentshiseko yomntwana kuyo yonke into abafuna ukuyenza bakuba befika elunxwemeni, kodwa ekugqibeleni ndaziva ngathi ndiyotya kakhulu kwisomisi .

Kwikhompyutha yethu eqeshiweyo ndilandele intshukumo, ndayibukelela elunxwemeni, ndadlala kwaye ngokuhlwa, ngelixa usapho lwam lulele, ndaphuma ndilila.

Ukuphuma ngaphandle kweengcango zeglasi ezityibilikayo ungene kubumnyama obunetyiwa, ndimamele isingqisho samaza. Kutheni ingazange indithobe njengoko ihlala isenza? Ndineentsimbi ezintsha ezingalweni zam, mhlekazi, ke kufuneka ndibeseFlorida. Kutheni ndingeva nto?

Ndafika ekhaya ndisiva kakubi kunangexesha lokuhamba kwethu. Ndiyekile ukuzijonga esipilini, ndingafuni kujongana nomntu obhinqileyo kunye noswele-emehlo umfazi ohleli apho.

Lonke ixesha lasehlotyeni kuye kwanyanzeleka ukuba ndise abantwana echibini lommelwane wethu, ndicinga: Mhlawumbi ukuba ndiziphatha njengabanye oomama, ndiziva ndingumama kwakhona. Ngelixa abahlobo bam bencokola, ndanxiba iiglasi zam zelanga kwaye ndenza ngathi ndithathe inxaxheba kwimagazini.

Ndacinga ukuba ndide ndahlekisa ngoRick, de ngobunye ubusuku wathi, “Awusangxoli, Julie. Into engalunganga?"

Hayi! Yayingxaki leyo. Yonke into ibilungile, ngaphandle kwam. "Ndidiniwe nje kancinci," ndimxelele.

"Masikuthandazele oku," utshilo.

Ndithandazile! Ndithandazile ndithandaza akwabikho nto yenzekayo. URick kufuneka ukuba wayekhathazeke kakhulu kunokuba wayeka, kuba okokuqala ebomini bethu bomtshato, wasicebisa ukuba siguqe sithandaze ngokuvakalayo kunye. Ndaphinda into yonke emva kwakhe, njengezifungo zomtshato.

"INkosi ngumalusi wam, andifuni."

Kwaba sisithethe sasebusuku, kuthandazwa kunye ngaphambi kokulala. "Enkosi, Nkosi," uRick wayeza kuvala, "ngokunika uJulie uxolo olugqibeleleyo." Ndingaziva ndizolile nam, okoko ethandaza. Emva koko wayelele, kwaye xa ndingasakwazi ukuphinda ndixoke, ndandisusa izigqubuthelo ndize ndibambe ixesha.

00:10. 02:30. 04:15. Kuye kwaba yenye into ukufihla. Ndingathini kumyeni wam ukuba imithandazo yakhe ayisebenzi? Ndingamyeka njani uRick phantsi ngokungathi ndiphoxe uThixo?

Ngo-Okthobha, umama waqala ukuvela "ukubulisa" amaxesha ambalwa ngeveki. Akakhange abuze mibuzo, kodwa iinzame zakhe ezingafihlisiyo zokundivuyisa zindixelele ukuba nditsho noncumo lwam lokunyanzelwa alumkhohlisi.

Kwasekuqaleni kukaNovemba wanyanzelisa ukuba andise ezivenkileni. Kwiivenkile ezinkulu umama waya kwilokhwe. “Jonga, Julie, lo ngumbala omtsha wokuwa! Isinaphi. Uyabona ezi jean? Kunye nebhatyi ehambelanayo? " Ndicacisele ngathi ubangumntwana ofunda esikolweni.

Uthathe iimpahla zam wandityhalela egumbini lokunxibisa. Ndibe nomqolo esipilini, ndanxiba ijean, ubukhulu obuncinci kunesiqhelo, ndaqinisa ibhanti kwindawo yokugqibela.

“Julie, ithatha ixesha elingakanani? Ndingangena ngoku?

"Kulungile" ndatsho ndishiya umsebenzi.

“Owu Julie, loo mbala mhle ngeenwele zakho ezibomvu! Ndikuphathela ilokhwe. Kutheni unganxibi kwaye simise i-ice cream endleleni egodukayo. " Yippee. Ucwambu lomkhenkce.

Ukubuyela kwi-Oldsmobile yakhe, ndala ukuphuma kwakhona. "Hamba uyothatha ice cream uyikhuphe." Ndandi khuselekile emotweni kunabantu ababenokulindela ukuba ndithethe kwaye ndonwabile.

Umama ubuyile kunye nentandokazi yam yobuntwana, itshokholethi yobisi enesicwecwe sokwenyani. Ndifunxe kanzima kwaye ndikhawuleze ngomququ ukuzama ukukhumbula ezo mvakalelo zingcangcazelayo. Khange ilunge. Kutheni kungasekho nto imnandi ebomini?

Umama waqala ukuza yonke imihla. Ndandicaphukela ukufika kwakhe, kwaye ndandimcaphukela ngakumbi xa emkayo. Ngenye intsasa wangena ehamba nekhamera yakhe wandilandela ejikeleza indlu ethatha imifanekiso. "Ndifuna ukukubonisa ubuhle bakho."

Oomama bahlala becinga ukuba iintombi zibahle. Ndiyinkohliso kwaye ndiyasilela kwaye kufuneka ibonakalise. Nangona kunjalo, ukumbona emqolo emva kwam, ecofa kude, kwakumnandi kakhulu kuye kwafuneka ndihleke. Kwakungathi ndive ingoma elityelweyo. Ugqibile ukuqengqa wakhawuleza waya kumakhi weyure.

Ukubuya, wayihlutha imifanekiso njengesandla sokuwina kwamakhadi. Inokuba wabenza ukuba bachukumiseke. Ndijongeka njalo ... iqhelekile.

Ndikhethe eyam ifoto endiyithandayo, le ndihamba nayo sihleka, ndayihambisa imini yonke, ndayifaka efrijini. Ndandifuna ukuzibamba loo ntsini, ukuze ndikholelwe ukuba oko kuthetha ukuba ndonwaba kwakhona, ndibe ndim. Kodwa njengakwimithandazo kaRick ngexesha lokulala, ikhetshi ayizange ihlale xesha lide.

Ukubuya kukaMama ngosuku olulandelayo, ndandihleli phantsi ekhitshini ndilila. Wema ecaleni kwam. "Julie, ndicinga ukuba lixesha lokuba ubonane nogqirha."

Iziqwenga zokugqibela zokuzihlonipha zam zidilikile. Ukutsalela inombolo kagqirha kwakubonakala ngathi koyisiwe okokugqibela. Wakhawuleza wandinika idinga.

Ndihleli kwisitulo esiqhelekileyo esiluhlaza segumbi lokulinda, ndinqwenela ukuba ngomnye wabaguli. Inenekazi elinabantwana abahlanu abangazinzanga, ixhego elijonge ngapha kwefestile, elivisayo elisisiyatha.

Ngowuphi umfazi okhulileyo ofuna umama wakhe aye naye kwagqirha? Angathini uGqirha Kelly xa enokufumanisa ukuba akukho nto imbi ngam? Ndambona ephawula "umzobo wengqondo / weirdo" wam.

"Julie, buya," watsho umnesi. Ngaba naye kufuneka azi?

"Yintoni ingxaki, Julie?" Ugqirha Kelly ubuze ngentlonipho.

Ukuvuma imeko yam komnye umntu yenye yezona zinto zinzima endakha ndazenza. “Andisaziva ndinje. Ndicinga ukuba khange ndizive ngathi mhlawumbi kwiinyanga ezilithoba ngoku kwaye andikwazi kuyeka ukukhala. "

Ngendlela ephathekayo, ugqirha wam uqhubeke ebuza imibuzo. Ngaba iimpawu zavela ngesiquphe? iicawa.

"Uye wehlile emzimbeni?"

"Ulala kancinci okanye ulala kakhulu?"

"Ngaba uphulukene nolonwabo lwezinto ozithandayo?"

"Unengxaki ekugxileni?"

Ewe Ewe ewe! Mall.

“Julie,” watsho ugqirha, “unedepression. Ukudakumba kunokuba nezizathu ezininzi, kodwa xa kufikwa ngequbuliso kunokuba yimeko yomzimba ngenxa yokwehla kwenqanaba le-serotonin kwingqondo. Olu ayilo phawu lusilelayo okanye uphawu lobuthathaka. Abadlali bebhola ekomeleleyo nabomeleleyo banengxaki yoxinzelelo. "

Akandigwebi! Abadlali bebhola. Yitsho kwakhona ... imeko yomzimba ...

"Kodwa, uGqirha Kelly, ukuba bendinokholo olwaneleyo, akanako na uThixo ukuphilisa ukudakumba?"

“Ndiyindoda yokholo, Julie. Ngamanye amaxesha uThixo usebenzisa oogqirha ukunceda ukuphilisa. Uyakhumbula xa uJamie waphuka ingalo? Umse kugqirha wamazinyo.

Uqhubeke wathi, "Uxinzelelo sisifo", esihlala sinyangeka ngeziyobisi. Wakrazula amayeza kwiphedi yakhe.

“Ngale nto, inqanaba lakho le-serotonin liza kukhula kancinci. Ngokwenza njalo, ndiyakholelwa ukuba uza kuqala ukuziva ngathi ungumntu wakho omdala. Kuya kufuneka uhlale amayeza ubuncinci iinyanga ezintandathu. Ndiza kuphinda ndikubone kwiiveki ezine. "

Ndaphuma eofisini yakhe ndihamba emoyeni. Kodwa iveki enamayeza ayitshintshanga kwanto. Ithemba limkile njengebhola ebalekayo.

Kwathi ngenye intsasa kwiveki yesibini, ndivuke ndaqonda ukuba mandilale ubusuku bonke. Njengakwifilimu ehambisa isantya, isakhelo ngesakhelo, ezinye iinguqu ezilandelwayo, amaxesha okonwaba aqhekeze umntu ngamnye ngwevu.

Ngomnye uMgqibelo, malunga neenyanga ezimbini emva kotyelelo lwam kwagqirha, mna noRick sahamba nabantwana saya eMcDonald's. Sahamba emnyango saza ngequbuliso ndakhumbula incasa yeefries zaseFrance. Yile nto ukutya kubonakala ngathi kuyonwabisa! Ndafola njengomntwana ongenamonde.

"Ndingayithatha iodolo yakho?" yatsho inkwenkwe kwelinye icala lekhawuntari.

"Ewe!" Ndiphendule ndirhalela. "Ndiza kuba nenani elikhulu lamafriji kunye ne-chocolate enkulu yobisi kwaye, ewe, ezininzi zeetchup!"

Ndabamba itreyi ndalandela usapho lwam ukuya esitobhini. I-flavour, ityiwa, iitshisi ezishushu! Ukudibanisa ipepile eninzi, ndatsala i-chip nganye ye-potato kwi-mound enkulu ye-ketchup. Ityuwa le yandenza ndafuna i-smoothie yam. Ndincancele isiselo esibandayo kanzima kwaye ngokukhawuleza ukuba umqala wam ubungcangcazela.

Enkosi, mhlekazi, ngenxa yobisi lwam lwetshokholethi. Ndabamba isandla sikaRick phantsi kwetafile ndasebeza "ndiyakuthanda".

Kwadlula ezinye iinyanga ezimbini, iintsuku ezintle zafika rhoqo. KwakuyiCawa yePasika kwakhona - oh, kodwa hayi njengayo nayiphi na iPasika endakha ndayazi!

Njengoko sasiphuma kwindlela eya ecaweni, ndaqaphela ukuba imithi yamapere yayiqaqamba ngentambo emhlophe. Endaweni yokufiphala, bekukho i-daffodils etyheli, i-pink dogwood-ubomi obutsha kuyo yonke indawo, ithemba elitsha.

Kwaye ngakumbi kum. UGqirha Kelly wayephazama. "Uza kuba ngumntu wakho omdala kwakhona," wathembisa. Kodwa le yayintsha kum! Lo mntu wayengenakuba ngumzekelo wamaKristu ongazange aphoswe yicawa kwaye wabonisa elona cala lakhe lilungileyo.

Lo mntu wayebuthathaka, eswele kwaye enxunguphele kwaye eyazi ukuba kulungile, kulungile ebantwini kwaye kufanelekile kuThixo.Ndakuvuma kwam ukuba ndizenzakalisa, ndiye ndafumana abancedisi bakhe kum. Rick. Umama. UGqirha Kelly. Abahlobo bam ecaweni bendicinga ukuba bebengavumi kangako.

Kulapho ndaye ndacinga ukuba ndimonile uThixo ukuba ndimfumene ngokwenyani, xa ndawela kude njengoko ndandifikele ezandleni zakhe. Ngamaxesha athile, xa sasisiya ecaweni, ndaqonda ukuba eyona ndlela izukileyo esinokuvuya ngayo eNkosini kukumenza ukuba ave ezona ntlungu zethu.