Ileta evela ngaphaya ... "YINYANISO" kwaye engaqhelekanga
IMPAWU
Kwaye uVicariatu Urbis, usweleke 9 aprilis 1952
UAloysius Traglia
Oovimba. EKesareya. I-Vicesgerens
UClara noAnnetta, babesebancinci, babesebenza kwinkampani yezentengiso e-*** (Jamani).
Abadibananga nobuhlobo obunzulu, kodwa ngentlonelo elula. Basebenze yonke imihla ecaleni komnye nomnye kwaye utshintshiselwano ngezimvo alunakuphulukana. UClara wazivuma ukuba ungumntu onenkolo evakalayo kwaye waziva enoxanduva lokuyalela nokukhumbula uAnnetta, xa wayebonakalisa ukukhanya.
Bachitha ixesha kunye; emva koko uAnnetta wenza isivumelwano somtshato kwaye wayishiya inkampani. Ekwindla yonyaka. UClara uchithe iiholide zakhe kunxweme lweLake Garda. Embindini ngoSeptemba, umama wakhe wamthumelela ileta evela kwilizwe lakhe lokuzalwa: «Annetta wasweleka. Bamngcwaba izolo kwi "Waldfriedhof" ».
Ezi ndaba zothusa inenekazi eliselula elilungileyo, lisazi ukuba umhlobo wakhe wayengakholwayo. - Ngaba wayekulungele ukuzimisa phambi koThixo? ... Ukufa ngesiquphe, wazifumana njani? -
Ngemini elandelayo wamamela i-Mass eNgcwele kwaye wenza noMthendeleko kwisigulo sakhe, ethandaza ngokuzingisileyo. Ubusuku, imizuzu elishumi emva kobusuku, umbono wenzeka ...
"UClara. sukundithandazela! Ndigwetyiwe! Ukuba ndiyakuxelela kwaye ndikuxelela ixesha elide. musa ukukholelwa ukuba oku kwenziwa njengobuhlobo. Asisathandi mntu apha. Ndiyenza ngokunyanzelwa. Ndiyenza "njengenxalenye yelo gunya elihlala lifuna ububi kwaye lenze okuhle."
Ngokwenyani ndingathanda ukukubona uphinde ukwimeko enje kweli lizwe, apho ngoku ndisehla i-anchor yam ngonaphakade.
Sukucaphuka le njongo. Apha, sonke sicinga njalo. Umyolelo wethu ubonakalisiwe ebubini kwinto oyibiza ngokufanelekileyo ngokuthi "bububi" -. Naxa sisenza into "elungileyo", njengoko ngoku ndivula amehlo am esihogweni, oku akwenzeki ngeenjongo ezilungileyo.
Ngaba usakhumbula ukuba kwiminyaka emine edluleyo sadibana e-**** ngeloxesha wayeneminyaka engama-23 kwaye wawusele ukho kangangesiqingatha sonyaka xa ndandifika apho.
Undikhuphe kwingxaki ethile; njengomqalayo, undinike iidilesi ezintle. Kodwa kuthetha ntoni "okuhle"?
Ndiyakuncoma "ukuthanda ummelwane". Ngqo! Ukukhululeka kwakho kwavela kumdibaniso omsulwa, njengoko, ngaphezulu, bendikrokrela ukusukela ngoko. Akukho nto intle siyaziyo apha. Akukho nanye.
Uyalazi ixesha lobutsha bam. Ndizalisa izikhewu apha.
Ngokwesi sicwangciso sabazali bam, ukuthetha inyani, ngendingazange ndibekho. Yayilusizi nje kubo. Oodadewethu bobabini sele beneminyaka eli-14 neli-15 ubudala, xa ndandithanda ukukhanya.
Andizange ndibekho! Ndingade ndizitshabalalise, ndibaleke ezi ntlungu! Akukho kuthotyelwa kwemoto kungalingana noko ndikushiya kubomi bam; njengengubo yomlotha, elahlekileyo kungabikho nto.
Kodwa kufuneka ndibekhona. Ndimele ndibekho ngolu hlobo, njengoko ndizenzileyo: ngobukho obungaphumelelanga.
Xa utata nomama, bebesebancinci, bevela emaphandleni besiya edolophini, bobabini baphulukana nonxibelelwano neCawe. Kwaye yayingcono ngale ndlela.
Babenovelwano ngabantu abangahambelani neCawe. Badibana kwintlanganiso yomdaniso kwaye isiqingatha sonyaka kamva "kwafuneka" ukutshata.
Ngexesha lomsitho womtshato, amanzi amaninzi angcwele ahlala eqhotyoshelwe kubo, owathi umama waya ecaweni yeCawa yaseCawe izihlandlo ezimbalwa ngonyaka. Akazange andifundise ukuthandaza ngenene. Wayediniwe kukhathalelo lobomi bemihla ngemihla, nangona imeko yethu yayingathandeki.
Amagama anje anjengeMisa, imfundo yezenkolo, icawe, ndiwathetha ngokuzonwabisa okungaphakathi. Ndiyayicekisa yonke le nto, njengoko ndibathiyile abo abahamba icawe, ikakhulu bonke abantu nazo zonke izinto.
Ndiyamcaphukela uThixo
Kuyo yonke into, enyanisweni, kuza ukubandezeleka. Lonke ulwazi olufunyenwe kwinqanaba lokufa, yonke imemori yezinto ezihlala okanye eyaziwayo, kuthi ilangatye lomlilo.
Kwaye zonke iinkumbulo zisibonisa elo cala layibabalwe kulo saza salidelela. Asidli, asilali, asihambi ngeenyawo zethu. Ngokomoya siboshwe, sibukeka simatshekile "ngezikhalo namazinyo okutshixisa" ubomi bethu bunyukile ngomsi: ukuzonda nokuhlukumezeka!
Uyandiva? Apha sisela intiyo njengamanzi. Ngokubhekisele kwelinye.
Ngaphezulu kwako konke ukumthiya uThixo, ndifuna ukuyenza iqondakale.
Abasikelelekileyo ezulwini kufuneka bamthande, kuba bambona engenasigqubuthelo, kubuhle bakhe obuqaqambileyo. Oku kubabetha kakhulu kangangokuba abanakuchazwa. Siyayazi kwaye olu lwazi lusenza ukuba sibe nomsindo.
Amadoda emhlabeni, amaziyo uThixo ukususela kwindalo nokwatyhilwa, anokumthanda; kodwa abanyanzeliswa.
Ikholwa-nditsho ngokumtshixiza kwamazinyo - ngubani, ocaphukisayo, ucinga uKristu emnqamlezweni, iingalo zakhe zoluliwe, uya kugqibela ngokumthanda.
Ke yena lowo, sondela kuye nje nguRhulumente, lowo unamandla okuwisa, inje, umgwebi olilungisa, kuba ngamhla uthile wabalekiswa nguye, njengoko kwenzekileyo kuthi. Unokumthiya kuphela, ngayo yonke impembelelo yobubi bakhe, ngonaphakade, ngenxa yokwamkeleka ngokukhululekileyo, ngokuthi sife, siwukhuphe umphefumlo wethu kwaye nokuba ngoku siyarhoxa kwaye asisayi kuba nayo intando yokusirhoxisa.
Ngaba uyasiqonda ngoku ukuba kutheni isihogo sihlala ngonaphakade? Kuba ukunqongophala kwethu akunakuze kunyibilike kude kuthi.
Kunyanzelekile, ndongeza ukuba uThixo unenceba kuthi. Ndithi "inyanzelwe", kuba nokuba ndizithetha ezi zinto ngabom, andivumelekanga ukuba ndixoke, njengoko bendifuna ukwenza njalo. Izinto ezininzi ndiqinisekile ngokuchasene nentando yam. Kufuneka nditshitshise ubushushu bempatho-gadalala, engathanda ukugabha.
U-Thixo wasenzela inceba ngokungavumeli ububi buqhubeke emhlabeni, njengokuba besikulungele ukwenza. Oku ngekwakonyuse izono neentlungu zethu. Ngapha koko, wasibulala ixesha, njengam, okanye wenza ezinye iimeko zokungenelela zingenelele.
Ngoku ubonakalisa inceba kuthi ngokungasinyanzeli ukuba sisondele kuye kunokuba sikule ndawo ikhutshelwa kude; Oku kunciphisa ukubandezeleka.
Nyathelo ngalinye eliza kundisondeza kuThixo belinokundizisela intlungu enkulu kunaleyo izokusondeza inyathelo elikufutshane kwisibonda esivuthayo.
Wothuka, xa kanye, ngexesha lokuhamba, ndikuxelele ukuba ubawo, kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ngaphambi komthendeleko wakho wokuqala, uthe kum: "Annettina, zama ukufanelekela isinxibo esihle: okuseleyo sisakhelo".
Ngokothuka kwakho ndingade ndaneentloni. Ngoku ndihleka ngayo.
Ekuphela kwento eqiqayo kolo luhlu kukuba ukwamkelwa kuMthendeleko wayeneminyaka elishumi elinambini kuphela ubudala. Ngeli xesha, ndandithatyathwe yinkxalabo yokonwaba yehlabathi, ngoko ke ngaphandle kokuzinikela ndayibeka kwingoma yeculo kwaye andikhange ndibalule ukubaluleka kuMthendeleko wokuqala.
Ukuba uninzi lwabantwana ngoku baya kwiKomishini beneminyaka esixhenxe, kuyasicaphukisa. Senza konke esinako ukwenza abantu baqonde ukuba abantwana baswele ulwazi olwaneleyo. Kuqala kufuneka benze izono ezinokubulala.
Ke i-Particle emhlophe ayisasebenzi monakalo mkhulu kubo, njengaxa ukholo, ithemba kunye nothando zisaphila ezintliziyweni zabo - puh! ezi zinto-zifunyenwe kuBhaptizo. Uyayikhumbula indlela awayesele eyixhasa ngayo olu luvo emhlabeni?
Nditshilo utata. Wayedla ngokuxabana nomama. Ndibhekisa kuyo ngokungaqhelekanga; Ndaziva ndinentloni ngayo. Elinjani lona ihlazo ubungendawo! Okwethu apha yonke into iyafana.
Nabazali bam zange balala kwigumbi elinye kwakhona; kodwa mna kunye nomama notata kwigumbi lokudibana, apho angabuya ekhaya ngokukhululekileyo nangaliphi na ixesha. Wasela kakhulu; Ngale ndlela uliphange ifa lethu. Oodadewethu bobabini babeqeshiwe kwaye bona ngokwabo bayayifuna, bathi, imali abayifumeneyo. Umama uqalile ukusebenza ukuze afumane into.
Kunyaka wokugqibela wobomi bakhe, utata wayehlala ebetha umama wakhe xa engafuni ukumnika nantoni na. Kum, nangona kunjalo, wayehlala enothando. Ngenye imini-ndikuxelele ngale nto kwaye wena, emva koko, uye wadibana ne-whim (yintoni ongakhange uyikhathaze ngam?) - ngenye imini kwakufuneka abuyise, kabini, izihlangu azithengileyo, kuba ukuma kunye nezithende kwakungekho okwangoku kum.
Ngobusuku ubawo wabethwa sisifo seengcongconi, kwenzeka into ethi mna, ngenxa yokoyika intetho ecekisekayo, andinakuthembela kuwe. Kodwa ngoku kufuneka uyazi. Kubalulekile oku: ke okwesihlandlo sokuqala ndahlaselwa ngumoya wam wokuthuthumbisa.
Ndalala egumbini lika mama: ukuphefumla kwakhe rhoqo uthethe ubuthongo bakhe.
Xa ndisiva ndibizwa ngegama.
Ilizwi elingaziwayo lindixelela: “Kuyakwenzeka ntoni xa uTata eswelekile?
Uthando kwimiphefumlo ekwimo yobabalo
Bendingasamthandi utata, kuba wayephatha rhabaxa unina; njengoko ndingazange ndathandana ngokupheleleyo namntu okoko, kodwa ndandiba, ndithanda abanye abantu. ebendiphethe kakuhle. Uthando olungenathemba lokutshintshiselana komhlaba luhlala kuphela kwimiphefumlo ekwimo yobabalo. Kwaye andinguye.
Ndiye ndawuphendula umbuzo ongaqondakaliyo. Ngaphandle kokuqonda ukuba ivelaphi: "Kodwa ayifi!"
Emva kokunqumama kancinci, umbuzo omnye obonwe ngokucacileyo kwakhona. "Kodwa ungafi!" wabaleka wemka kum kwakhona, ngequbuliso.
Okwesithathu ndabuzwa: "Kuyakwenzeka ntoni ukuba utata wakho ubhubhile?". Yenzekile kum ukuba utata udla ngokufika njani ekhaya enxilile, enomvandedwa, ephathwa kakubi umama nendlela asibeka kwimeko ehlazisayo phambi kwabantu. Ndiye ndakhala ndinomsindo: "Iyamfanela!" Emva koko yonke into yathula.Ntsasa elandelayo, xa umama wayefuna ukubeka igumbi likaTata ngolungelelwano, wafumana umnyango ukhiyiwe. Emini yemini umnyango wanyanzelwa. Utata wam wayenxibe-iwele, elele ebhedini. Xa esiya kuyokusela ibhiya kwindawo esela kuyo, kufuneka ingozi ethile yenzekile. Bekugula ixesha elide.
UMarta K ... kwaye undikhokelele kwiQela loLutsha. Ngapha koko, andikaze ndiyifihle into yokuba ndiyifumene imiyalelo yabalawuli bobabini, amanenekazi X, ukuba ahambisane nefashoni yenkonzo ...
Imidlalo ibimnandi. Njengoko uyazi, ndandinenxaxheba ngokuthe ngqo kuyo. Oku kundifanele.
Ndizithandile neehambo. Ndide ndazivumela ukuba ndikhokhelwe amaxesha ambalwa ukuya kuXolelwaniso kunye noMthendeleko.
Ngokwenyani, bendingenanto yokuyivuma. Iingcamango kunye neentetho zazingenamsebenzi nam. Kwizenzo ezibi kakhulu, andonakalanga.
Undicebisile kanye wathi: "Anna, ukuba awuthandazi, yiya emonakalisweni!"
Ndithandaze kancinci kakhulu kwaye oku, kuphela, ngaphandle koludwe.
Ke ngelishwa ubelungile. Bonke abo batshisa esihogweni khange bathandaze okanye abathandazanga ngokwaneleyo.
ISIQINISEKISO SOKUQALA KUYO UTHIXO
Umthandazo linyathelo lokuqala eliya kuThixo kwaye lihleli linyathelo lokuthatha isigqibo. Ngokukodwa umthandazo kuye owayenguMama ka-Kristu-igama esingazange silikhankanye.
Ukuzinikela ekuhluthweni imiphefumlo engenakubalwa evela kumtyholi, esono esinokumkhulula ngokuqinisekileyo.
Ndiyaqhubeka nebali, ndizitya ndinomsindo. Kungenxa yokuba kufuneka. Ukuthandaza yeyona nto ilula inokwenziwa ngumntu emhlabeni. Kwaye ngokuchanekileyo kule nto ilula kakhulu ukuba uThixo ubophe usindiso lomntu wonke.
Kwabo bathandazayo ngokunyamezela, ngokuthe ngcembe ubanikela ukukhanya okungakumbi, kumqinisa ngendlela yokuba ekugqibeleni naye umoni abetheke kakhulu angavuka kwakhona. Yayikhukulisiwe kwindawo ethe tyaba isiya entanyeni.
Ngeentsuku zokugqibela zobomi bam andisahambi ndithandaza ngendlela endifanele ngayo kwaye ndazihlutha iitshomi, ngaphandle kwazo akukho mntu unokusindiswa.
Apha asisafumani lubabalo. Ewe, nokuba besizifumene, besiya kubagatya. Lonke uguquko lobomi basemhlabeni luyekile kobu bunye ubomi.
Ukusuka kuwe emhlabeni umntu unokuvuka kwimeko yesono ukuya kwisimo seGrace kwaye asuke kwi-Grace awele esonweni, kaninzi aphuma kubuthathaka, ngamanye amaxesha aphume kububi.
Ngokufa oku kuphakama nokuwa, kuba inengcambu yokungafezeki komntu wasemhlabeni. Sifikile ngoku kwisiphelo sokugqibela.
Sele ihambile iminyaka, utshintsho luba kunqabile. Kuyinyani, kude kube kukufa ungasoloko ubuyela kuThixo okanye umfulathele. Kodwa, iphantse yathatyathwa kwangoku, indoda, ngaphambi kokudlula kwakhe, kunye nezibuyiselo ezibuthathaka zomyolelo, ziziphatha ngendlela awayeqhele ngayo ebomini.
Isiko, elungileyo okanye libi, iba yindalo yesibini. Oku kuyamdontsa ngayo.
Le yenzekile nakum. Iminyaka bendihlala kude noThixo.Yiyo le nto kwi-call yokugqibela ka -Grace ndazimisela ukuchasana noThixo.
Yayingeyonto yokuba ndihlala ndona eyayindibulala, kodwa ukuba andifuni ukuphakama.
Ubuye wandilumkisa ukuba ndimamele iintshumayelo, ndifunde iincwadi zonqulo.
"Andinaxesha," yayimpendulo yam eqhelekileyo. Akukho nto siyifunayo kukunyusa ukungaqiniseki kwam kwangaphakathi!
Ngaphaya koko, kufuneka ndiqaphele oku: kuba yayisele ihambile kakhulu, ngokufutshane ngaphambi kokuba ndiphume kuMbutho woLutsha, bekuya kuba nzima kakhulu ukuzibeka kwenye indlela. Ndaziva ndingonwabanga kwaye ndingonwabanga. Kodwa udonga lwalumi ngaphambi kokuguqulwa.
Akufanelanga ukuba uyikrokre. Uyimele ngokucacileyo, xa ngenye imini wathi kum: "Kodwa yenza uvumo oluhle, Anna, kwaye yonke into isendaweni".
Ndivile ukuba kungathiwani. Kodwa umhlaba, umtyholi, inyama sele ibambelele ngokuqinileyo kwizilonda zabo.
IDEMON INFLUENCES BANTU
Andizange ndiyikholelwe impembelelo kaMtyholi. Kwaye ngoku ndiyangqina ukuba unefuthe elinamandla kubantu ababekwisimo endikuso ngelo xesha.
Yimithandazo emininzi kuphela, eyabanye neyam, kunye nemibingelelo kunye neentlungu, ezinokundifumana kuye. Kwaye oku, kancinci kancinci. Ukuba bambalwa abaqwalaseleyo ngaphandle, kukho i-anthill ngaphakathi ngaphakathi komxhelo. Umtyholi akanakuyihlutha inkululeko yenkululeko yabo bazinikelayo kwimpembelelo yakhe. Kodwa kwintlungu yabo, ngokungathi kunjalo, uwexuko lwendlela evela kuThixo, uvumela "ongendawo" ukuba ahlale kubo.
Nam ndiyamthiya umtyholi. Kodwa ndiyamthanda kuba uzama ukonakalisa nina nonke; Ndiyamcaphukela kunye neesatellite zakhe, oomoya abaye bawa naye ekuqalekeni kwexesha.
Babalwa kwizigidi. Bawugungqa umhlaba, bumanzi njengesiqu semaphakathi, kwaye awuboni.
Asikuko ukuba siphinde sizame ukukulinga; le yiofisi yemimoya ewile.
Oku kunyusa intukuthelo ngalo lonke ixesha betsala umphefumlo womntu ezantsi apha kwi-Ill. Kodwa yintoni le ayithiyileyo?
Nangona bendihamba ezindleleni ezikude noThixo, uThixo undilandele.
Ndalungisa indlela eya kuNomusa ngezenzo zothando lwendalo, endingenakuzimisela ngokuthambisa ubushushu bam.
Ngamanye amaxesha uThixo unditsalele ecaweni. Emva koko ndeva ngathi akukho nto. Xa ndamphatha lo mama ugulayo, ngaphandle komsebenzi e-ofisini ngexesha lasemini, kwaye ngendlela endazincama ngayo, ezi zicelo zikaThixo zasebenza ngamandla.
Kwake, kwicawa yesibhedlele, obundikhokele kuyo ngexesha lekhefu lasemini, into ethile yeza kum eyayiza kuba linyathelo elinye lokuguqula kwam: ndalila!
Kodwa emva koko uvuyo lwehlabathi lwaphinda lwadlula njengomjelo phezu koBabalo.
Ingqolowa iyekisiwe phakathi kwameva.
ISIQINISEKISO SOKUGQIBELA
Ngesibhengezo sokuba inkolo ingumbono oqhelekileyo, njengoko bekusoloko kusithiwa eofisini, ndiye ndasisicengceleza esi simemo sikaGrace njengabo bonke abanye.
Nje ukuba undithuke kuba endaweni yokujongwa phantsi komhlaba, ndenze nje isaphetha esingagungqi, ndaguqa ngedolo. Uthathe njengesenzo sobuvila. Awukhange ubonakale ukrokrela
ukuba ukusukela ngoko andizange ndakholelwa kubukho bukaKristu kwisakramente.
Ngoku ndiyayikholelwa, kodwa kuphela ngokwemvelo, njengoko sikholelwa kwisivunguvungu esineziphumo ezinokubonwa.
Okwangoku, bendizenzele inkolo ngendlela yam.
Ndayixhasa le mbono, eyayixhaphakile eofisini, ukuba umphefumlo emva kokuba umntu efile ukhuphukela kwenye into. Ngale ndlela wayeya kuqhubeka nokundwendwela ngokungenasiphelo.
Ngale nto yomvandedwa wobomi emva kobomi obunye yabekwa kwangoko kwaye yabangela ingozi kum.
Kutheni ungazange undikhumbuze umzekeliso wendoda esisityebi kunye neLazaro elihlwempu, apho umbalisi, uKrestu, ethumela, kwangoko emva kokuba efile, omnye waya esihogweni kwaye omnye waya ezulwini? ... Emva kwayo yonke into, yintoni onayo ifunyenwe? Akukho nto yimbi ngaphandle kwezinye iincoko zakho zobungqangi!
Ngokuthe ngcembe ndazimisela ukuba ndinguThixo; unesiphiwo esaneleyo sokubizwa nguThixo; kukude ngokwaneleyo kum ukuba andifuni kugcina naluphi na ulwalamano naye; Andazi ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndivumele, ngokweemfuno, ngaphandle kokutshintsha inkolo yam, ukuthelekisa nothixo wehlabathi, okanye ndivumele ukuba ndiconjululwe njengothixo wedwa. Lo Thixo ebengenaso isihogo sokuba undihlisele sona. Ndimshiye yedwa. Olu yayiluthando lwam kuye.
Okukholisayo kuyakholelwa ngokuzithandela. Ukutyhubela iminyaka bendizigcina ndiqinisekile ngenkolo yam. Ngale ndlela unokuphila.
Inye kuphela into ebenokwaphula intamo yam: yintlungu ende, enzulu. Kwaye le ntlungu ayizanga!
Ngoku yiqonde ukuba kuthetha ntoni: "UThixo uyamohlwaya abo amthandayo!"
KwakungeCawa kaJulayi, xa uMbutho woLutsha walungiselela uhambo oluya e *. Ndingathanda ukuthanda ukhenketho. Kodwa ezi ntetho zisithukuthezi, isenzo esikhulu eso!
Enye i-simulacrum eyahluke ngokupheleleyo kuleya ye-Madonna of * * * mvanje ime kwisibonda sentliziyo yam. Imehle N N entle evela kwivenkile edibanayo. Besikhe sajola kunye izihlandlo ezininzi ngaphambili.
Ngenxa yale Cawa wayendimemele kuyo. Oyena mntu wayeqhele ukuhamba naye wayelele esibhedlele.
Wayeqonda kakuhle ukuba ndibeke amehlo am kuye. Khange ndicinge ukutshata naye ke. Wayekhululekile, kodwa waziphatha ngobubele kuwo onke amantombazana. Kwaye, kude kube lelo xesha, ndandifuna umntu ongowam kuphela. Ayisiyiyo nje into yokuba ngumfazi, kodwa ngumfazi kuphela. Ngapha koko, bendisoloko ndine-etiquette ethile yendalo.
Kukhenketho olukhankanyiweyo ngaphambili uMax waziphakamisa ngobubele. Ehe! ewe, akukho zingxoxo zabakhohlisayo zabanjwa phakathi kwakho!
UTHIXO "AMANZI" NGOKUNYANYA
Ngosuku olulandelayo, eofisini, undithuke ngelithi andizanga nawe e-***. Ndakuchazela ukonwaba kwam ngeCawa.
Umbuzo wakho wokuqala yayingu: "Ukhe waya eMass?". Silly! Ndingaba njani, kuba nje ukuhamba kwam sele kubekelwe isithandathu?!
Uyayazi indlela endandivuya ngayo xa ndisithi: "INkosi elungileyo ayinangqondo incinci njengemifanekiso yakho!".
Ngoku kufuneka ndivume: UThixo, ngaphandle kokulunga kwakhe okungapheliyo, uzilinganisa izinto ngokuchanekileyo okukhulu kunabo bonke ababingeleli.
Emva kolo suku noMax, ndaphinda ndeza kuMbutho: ngeKrisimesi, yokubhiyozela ipati. Kukho into eyayindicenga ukuba ndibuye. Kodwa ngaphakathi bendikhe ndasuka kuwe.
I-Cinema, umdaniso, uhambo lwayaqhubeka. Mna noMax saxabana amatyeli aliqela, kodwa ndiyazi ukuba ndimbeke njani kum.
UMolestissirna undiphumelele komnye umthandi, owabuya esibhedlele waziphatha njengomfazi okrelekrele. Ngethamsanqa kum: kuba ukuzola kwam okuhle kwenza umbono onamandla kuMax, ndagqibela ngokuthatha isigqibo sokuba ndiyintandokazi yam.
Ndikwazile ukumenza ukuba abe nentiyo, athethe ngokubandayo: ngaphandle ngaphandle, kwityhefu engaphakathi. Iimvakalelo ezinjalo kunye nokuziphatha okunjalo kulungiselela ngokufanelekileyo isihogo. Ziyimpawu zes diabol ngokwezimvo ezingqongqo zegama.
Kutheni le nto ndikuxelela lento? Ukuxela indlela endizicinezele ngayo ngokuqinisekileyo kuThixo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ingesikukuba mna noMax sasisoloko sifikelela kwizigqibo zokuqhelana. Ndiyaqonda ukuba ngendiye ndathoba emehlweni akhe ukuba bendiziyekele ngokupheleleyo ngaphambi kwexesha; ke ngoko ndakwazi ukuzibamba.
Kodwa ngaphakathi kwam, qho xa ndicinga ukuba iluncedo, bendihlala ndilungele nantoni na. Kwafuneka ndoyise uMax. Akukho nto yayibiza kakhulu kuloo nto. Ngapha koko, kancinci kancinci, sathandana ngokuhlala sineempawu ezimbalwa ezixabisekileyo, ezisenze saxabana. Ndandinobuchule, ndinobuchule, ndinobudlelwane obumnandi. Ndiye ndayibamba ngokuqinileyo isandla sikaMax ngesandla sam kwaye ndakwazi ukulawula, ubuncinci kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo ngaphambi komtshato, ukuba ibe yeyakho kuphela.
"NDIBONILE I-CATHOLIC ..."
Oku kwakuquka uwexuko lwam kuThixo: ukuphakamisa isidalwa kwisithixo sam. Akukho ndlela inokwenzeka ngayo le, ukuze yamkele yonke into, njengasekuthandeni komntu wesini esahlukileyo, xa olu thando luhlala luxhonywe kulwaneliseko lwasemhlabeni.
Yiyo into ebangela umdla. ukuvuselela kwayo kunye netyhefu yayo.
"Ukudumisa", endihlawulele kum emntwini kaMax, yaba yinkolo ehleliyo kum.
Kwakulixesha apho e-ofisini ndazifaka ityhefu ngokuchasene neecawa zecawa, ababingeleli, ukungaxoleli, ukuguqula irosari kunye nokungabinantsingiselo efanayo.
Uzamile, nangaphezulu okanye kancinci ngobulumko, ukuzikhusela kwezo zinto. Ngokucacileyo, ngaphandle kokukrokrela ukuba ngaphakathi kwam ayibikho kangako ngezi zinto, endaweni yoko ndifuna inkxaso nxamnye nesazela sam ndiye ndafuna inkxaso enjalo ukuzithethelela ewe.
Ngapha koko, ndaguqukela kuThixo. Ndisazigqala ndingumKatolika. Inene, bendifuna ukubizwa oko; Ndaze ndayihlawula iirhafu zenkolo. "I-inshurensi yokulwa" ethile, ndacinga, ayinakulimaza.
Iimpendulo zakho zinokuba ziye zafumana uphawu ngamanye amaxesha. Abazange babambelele kum, kuba bekungafanelekanga ukuba ulungile.
Ngenxa yala ubudlelwane obugqwethekileyo phakathi kwethu sobabini, iintlungu zokuqhawulwa kwethu sasililize xa sahlukana ngexesha lomtshato wam.
Phambi komtshato ndiye ndavuma ndanxibelelana kwakhona. Yayimiselwe. nomyeni wam sicinga okufanayo kule nqaku. Kutheni le nto kungafanelekanga ukuba siyigqibe le ndlela? Nathi siyigqibile njengezinye izinto ezisesikweni.
Ubiza uMthendeleko ongafanelekanga. Ewe, emva kwaloo “Ntetho” engafanelekanga, ndandizola ngakumbi kwisazela sam. Ngapha koko, yayisesokugqibela.
Ubomi bethu bomtshato ngokubanzi babusemvisiswaneni enkulu. Kuzo zonke iindawo zokujonga sinoluvo olufanayo. Nakule nto: ukuba asifuni kuthwala umthwalo wabantwana. Ngokwenyani umyeni wam ebeya kufuna enye; akusekho, kunjalo. Ekugqibeleni ndaye ndakwazi ukumphambukisa kulo mnqweno.
Iingubo, ifanitshala enobukhazikhazi, i-hangouts yeti, uhambo kunye neemoto, kwaye iziphazamiso ezinjalo zibaluleke kakhulu kum.
Yayingunyaka wolonwabo emhlabeni owadlula phakathi komtshato wam nokufa kwam ngequbuliso.
Siphume ngemoto rhoqo ngeCawe, okanye sityelele izalamane zomyeni wam. Bathe tyaba kumphezulu wobukho, hayi ngaphezulu okanye ngaphantsi kuthi.
Ngaphakathi, ewe, andizange ndizive ndonwabile, nangona kunjalo ngaphandle ndihleka. Kwakusoloko kukho into engapheliyo ngaphakathi kum, eyandigrumba. Ndinqwenela ukuba emva kokusweleka, yeyiphi ngokuqinisekileyo esamele ibekude kakhulu, yonke into iphelile.
Kodwa kunjalo nje, njengolunye usuku, njengomntwana, ndeva kwintshumayelo: ukuba uThixo uyawuvuza wonke umsebenzi olungileyo umntu awenzayo kwaye, xa engenakukwazi ukuwuvuza ngobunye ubomi, uya kuwenza emhlabeni.
Ngokungalindelekanga ndaba nelifa elivela kuAunt Lotte. Umyeni wam ngovuyo wakwazi ukuyisa umvuzo wakhe kwisibalo esikhulu. Ke ndakwazi ukucwangcisa ikhaya elitsha ngendlela enomtsalane.
Inkolo ayisathumeli ilizwi layo, ibuthuntu, buthathaka kwaye ungaqinisekanga, ivela kude.
Iivenkile zedolophu, iihotele, apho sasihamba khona, ngokuqinisekileyo azange zisizise kuThixo.
Bonke abo bahlala rhoqo kwezi ndawo babehlala, njengathi, ukusuka ngaphandle ukuya ngaphakathi, hayi ngaphakathi nangaphandle.
Ukuba ngexesha leholide sityelele icawe ethile, sizame ukuzivuselela kumxholo wobugcisa wemisebenzi. Ukuphefumla ngokwenkolo okuphelelwe yisikhathi, ngakumbi abo babephila ngexesha eliphakathi, bendisazi indlela yokuyiguqula ngokugxeka ezinye iimeko ezincedisayo: ikliphu ekrwada edibeneyo okanye enxibe ngendlela engacocekanga, owayesisikhokelo; isigculelo sokuba iimonki, ezazifuna ukugqithisela isinxila, zithengise utywala; intsimbi engapheliyo yemisebenzi engcwele, lo gama ingumbuzo wokwenza imali ...
UMLILO WOKUVELA
Ke mna bendikwazi ukuqhuba uGrace kude kum qho xa enkqonkqoza.
Ndiphinde ndabuyisela simahla imeko yam embi ngokukodwa kwimiboniso ethile yexesha eliphakathi yesihogo kumangcwaba okanye kwenye indawo. apho uMtyholi agqibela khona imiphefumlo in red and incandescent breeches, ngelixa amaqabane akhe, enemisila emide, etsala amaxhoba amatsha kuye. Clara! Isihogo sinokuba siphosakele ukuyidweba, kodwa ayizukuya kude kakhulu!
Ndihlala ndijolise kumlilo wesihogo ngendlela ekhethekileyo. Uyayazi ngokungathi ngexesha lokujongana malunga nayo. Ndikhe ndayibamba umdlalo phantsi kwempumlo yam ndaze ndatsho ngokothusayo: "Ngaba iyanuka?".
Ngokukhawuleza uyicime ilangatye. Apha akukho mntu uyicimayo. Ndithi kuwe: umlilo okhankanywe eBhayibhileni awuthethi kukuhlushwa kwesazela. Umlilo ngumlilo! Iyaqondakala into eyathethwa nguYesu: "Suka kum, uqalekisiwe, uye emlilweni ongonaphakade!" Ngokwenyani.
"Umoya ungachukunyiswa njani ngumlilo wezinto ezibonakalayo," uya kubuza. Umphefumlo wakho ungabandezeleka njani emhlabeni xa ubeka umnwe wakho kwilangatye? Ngapha koko ayitshisi umphefumlo; Ukanti yeka ukubhaqwa kwakhe umntu!
Ngendlela efanayo sihlobene ngokomoya nomlilo apha, ngokobunjani bethu nangokwamandla ethu. Umphefumlo wethu awunaphiko lwendalo, asinakucinga ukuba sifuna ntoni okanye sifuna ntoni.
Ungothuki ngala mazwi am. Eli lizwe, elingakuxeleli nto, liyanditshisa ngaphandle kokunditya.
Esona sitshutshiso sikhulu siquka ukwazi ukuba asisoze simbone uThixo.
Ingaba le ntuthumbo ingaka ingakanani, kuba umntu emhlabeni uhlala engenamdla kangako?
Ngalo lonke ixesha isitshixo silala etafileni, kukushiya ubanda. Uyayibona indlela ebukhali ngayo, kodwa awuziva. Dipha imela enyameni kwaye uya kuqala ukukhwaza usezintlungwini.
Ngoku siziva siphulukene noThixo, ngaphambi kokuba sicinge ngayo kuphela.
Ayisiyo yonke imiphefumlo ebandezeleka ngokufanayo.
Ubungakanani bobubi kunye nokona okucwangcisiweyo umntu owonileyo, kokukhona ukulahlekelwa nguThixo kunzulu kuye kwaye kokukhona isidalwa esixhaphaze gadalala kuye.
AmaKatolika angamaDatshi abahlupheka ngakumbi kunezezinye iicawa, kuba afumana kakhulu kwaye anyathela ngaphezulu ukukhanya kunye nokukhanya ngakumbi.
Abo bazi ngakumbi, babandezeleka kakhulu kunabo babazi kancinci. Abo bonayo ngenxa yobugwenxa baziva ubunzima ngakumbi kunabo baphulukene nobuthathaka.
I-HABIT: ISIQINISEKISO SESibini
Akukho mntu uhlupheka ngaphezu koku kufanelekile. Owu, ukuba ibingeyonyani le, bendiya kuba nesizathu sokuyithiya!
Undixelele nangelinye ilanga ukuba akukho mntu uye esihogweni engayazi: le nto ngeyivelisiwe kwi-saint. Ndayihleka. Kodwa emva koko uya kundithambisa emva kwale ngxelo:
"Ke xa kunokwenzeka ukuba kubekho ixesha elaneleyo lokujika," ndatsho ngasese ngasese.
Ilungile loo nto. Inene ngaphambi kokuphela kwam ngesiquphe, andizange ndiyazi isihogo njengoko injalo. Akukho mntu ufayo uyaziyo. Kodwa bendiyiqonda ngokupheleleyo ukuba: "Ukuba uyafa, uya kwihlabathi elingaphaya, uthe ngqo njengoThixo. Uyakuthwala iziphumo".
Khange ndiyenze i-back-to-ngaphambili, njengoko sele nditshilo, kuba ukutsalwa yinto yangoku yomkhwa, eqhutywa ngulungelelwaniso ngokwendlela amadoda, amadala aqhubayo ngayo, kokukhona esenza ngendlela efanayo.
Ukusweleka kwam kwenzeke ngoluhlobo. Kwiveki ephelileyo ndithetha ngokokubala kwakho, ngoba, xa kuthelekiswa nentlungu, ndingatsho kakuhle ukuba sele nditshisa esihogweni iminyaka elishumi. Kwiveki ephelileyo, ke, mna nomyeni wam siye kuhambo lwangeCawa, eyokugqibela yam.
Imini yayiqalekile. Ndaziva ndingcono kunangaphambili. Imvakalelo engalunganga yolonwabo yandingenela, eyayindikhathaza imini yonke.
Xa ngequbuliso, ekubuyeni kwam, umyeni wam wadutyulwa yimoto ebhabha. Waphulukana nolawulo.
"UJesses" wabaleka imilebe yam ngencwina. Hayi njengomthandazo, kuphela njengokukhala. Intlungu ebambekayo yandiginya yonke indawo. Xa uthelekisa eso sangoku se-bagatella. Ndaye ndadlula.
Mangalisa! Ngelishwa, loo ngcinga yavuka kum ngala ntsasa: "Ungaphinda uye eMass." Kuvakala ngokungathi sisibongozo.
Cacisa kwaye uqinile, u- "hayi" wam ufumene imisonto yeengcinga. “Ngezi zinto kuya kufuneka uzenze kube kanye. Zonke iziphumo zimi kum! " Ngoku ndizizisa.
Uyazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni emva kokuba ndisweleke. Ithemba lomyeni wam, lelo lomama, kwenzeka ntoni ngesidumbu sam kunye nokuziphatha komngcwabo wam bayaziwa kum kwiinkcukacha zabo ngolwazi lwendalo esinalo apha.
Ngapha koko, kwenzeka ntoni emhlabeni, sazi kuphela ukuba akukho nto. Kodwa oko kusichaphazela ngandlela thile, siyayazi. Ke nam ndiyabona apho uhlala khona.
Ndavuka ngequbuliso kubumnyama, ngephanyazo lokudlula kwam. Ndizibone sendiphuphuma kukukhanya okuqaqambileyo.
Kwakule ndawo inye apho umzimba wam wawulala khona. Kwenzeka njengakwindawo yemidlalo yeqonga, xa izibane ziphuma ngequbuliso kwiholo, ikhethini lahlula ngokungxolayo kwaye kuvuleke umfanekiso ongalindelekanga okhanyayo. Indawo yobomi bam.
Njengasesipilini umphefumlo wam wazibonakalisa kuye. Amabala anyathelwa ukusuka ebusheni kude kube "ngu" wokugqibela "phambi koThixo.
Ndaziva ndingumbulali. iya kubani. Ngexesha lenkqubo yomgwebo, ixhoba lakhe elingaphilanga liziswa phambi kwakhe. Guquka? Ungaze! ... Unamahloni kum? Soze!
Kodwa andikwazanga nokumelana phantsi kwamehlo kaThixo okwaliwa ndim. Inye kuphela into eshiyekileyo: ukubaleka.
Njengoko uKayin wayebaleka isidumbu sika-Abheli, ke ngoko umphefumlo wam waqhutywa kukubona okoyikisayo.
Esi yayisisigwebo esithile: uMgwebi ongabonakaliyo wathi: "Suka kum!".
Emva koko umphefumlo wam, njengesithunzi esityheli, wawela kwindawo yentlungu engapheliyo ...
UClara uqukumbela:
Ekuseni, kuvakala isandi sika-Angelus, besothukile nobusuku bothusayo, ndiye ndaphakama ndabaleka ndaya ezitebhisini eziya chapel.
Intliziyo yam yayibetha kanye phantsi komqala wam. Iindwendwe ezimbalwa, eziguqe ecaleni kwam, zandijonga, kodwa mhlawumbi babecinga ukuba ndonwabile malunga nokukhwela.
Inenekazi elilungileyo elisuka eBudapest, elindibukele, lathi emva kokuncuma: - Miss, iNkosi ifuna ukukhonzwa ngokuzolileyo, hayi ngokukhawuleza.
Kodwa ke emva koko waqonda ukuba ikho enye into eye yandonwabisa kwaye wandiqhubekisa endikhathaza. Kwaye ngeli xesha inenekazi belindibhalela ngamanye amazwi amnandi, ndacinga: NguThixo yedwa owanele mna!
Ewe, Nguye yedwa omele ukuba anele kule nto nakobunye ubomi. Ndifuna ukuba ngenye imini ndikwazi ukuyonwabela eParadesi, kuba zingaphi iindleko endinokundifumana emhlabeni. Andifuni ukuya esihogweni!