UMedjugorje: Ukhutshwe kwiziyobisi, ngoku ungumbingeleli
Ekhutshwe kwiziyobisi, ngoku ungumbingeleli
Ibali likaDon Ivan othe, ngenxa yoLuntu lwaseCenacolo nakwiNceba kaThixo, wazikhulula ekuxhomekekeni
Ndonwabile nje ndinokungqina kuni nonke “kuvuko” lobomi bam. Amaxesha amaninzi, xa sithetha ngoYesu ephila, uYesu onokuthi achukunyiswe zizandla zakhe, oguqula ubomi bethu, iintliziyo zethu zibonakala zisekude kakhulu, emafini, kodwa ndiyangqina ukuba ndiyifumene yonke lento kwaye ndinayo ibonwa kwakhona kubomi babaninzi, ulutsha oluninzi. Ndandihlala ixesha elide, ndineminyaka elishumi, ndilibanjwa leziyobisi, ndindedwa, ndimbambazela, ndendele kububi. Ndaqala ukuthatha intsangu xa ndandineminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu kuphela. Konke kwaqala ngokuvukela kwam kuyo yonke into nakulowo wonke umntu, ukusuka kumculo endiwumamele kuwo undityhalela kwinkululeko engalunganga, ndiye ndaqala ukwenza, qho emva koko, intonga, ndaya kwi-heroine, ekugqibeleni ngenaliti! Emva kokusilela kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo eVarazdin, eCroatia, ndaya eJamani ngaphandle kwenjongo ethile. Ndiqale ukuhlala eFrankfurt apho ndisebenza khona njengomakhi wezitena, kodwa ndangeneliseka, ndifuna ngaphezulu, ndifuna ukuba ngumntu, ukuba nemali eninzi. Ndiqalise ukuqhuba i-heroin ye-pedin. Imali yaqala ukuzalisa iipakethi zam, ndaphila ubomi beklasi, ndandinayo yonke into: iimoto, amantombazana, amaxesha amnandi - iphupha laseMelika leklasikhi.
Ngeli xesha, i-heroine yandiphatha ngakumbi nangakumbi kwaye yandityhala ndaphantsi, ndisiya enzonzobileni. Ndenze izinto ezininzi ngemali, ndebiwa, ndaxoka, ndaqhatha. Kula nyaka uphelileyo bendihlala eJamani, bendihlala ezitratweni, ndilala kwizikhululo zikaloliwe, ndabaleka amapolisa, ngoku ayendijongile. Ndilambile njengoba ndinjalo, ndangena ezivenkileni, ndathatha isonka kunye nesalami ndatya ngelixa ndisaqhuba. Ukuxelela ukuba akukho cashier yandinqanda kwakhona kwanele kukwenza uqonde ukuba ndingabonakala njani. Ndandineminyaka engama-25 kuphela ubudala, kodwa ndandidiniwe bubomi, bobomi bam, kangangokuba ndandifuna ukufa kuphela. Ngo-1994 ndabaleka eJamani, ndabuyela eCroatia, abazali bam bandifumana kule meko. Abantakwethu bandincedile kwangoko ukuba ndingene ekuhlaleni, kuqala e-Ugljane kufutshane neSinji kunye naseMedjugorje. Mna, ndidiniwe yiyo yonke into kwaye ndinomdla wokuphumla, ndangena, ndinazo zonke izicwangciso zam ezilungileyo zokuphuma.
Andisokuze ndiyilibale imini xa, okwesihlandlo sokuqala, ndadibana noMama uElvira: ndandineenyanga ezintathu zabahlali kwaye ndandiseMedjugorje. Ebethetha kule chapel kuthi makhwenkwe, ngequbuliso wasibuza lo mbuzo: "Ngubani kuni ofuna ukuba yinkwenkwe elungileyo?" Wonke umntu ojikelezileyo waphakamisa izandla zabo ngovuyo emehlweni abo, ebusweni babo. Endaweni yoko bendinosizi, ndinomsindo, bendinazo kakade iiplani zam engqondweni ezingenanto yakwenza nokuzilunga. Ngobo busuku, nangona kunjalo, ndandingakwazi ukulala, ndaziva ndinesisindo esikhulu ngaphakathi kwam, ndikhumbula ndikhale ngokufihlakeleyo kwigumbi lokuhlambela kwaye kusasa, ngexesha lomthandazo we-rosari, ndaqonda ukuba ndifuna ukuba nam. UMoya weNkosi wayichukumise kakhulu intliziyo yam, enkosi ngala mazwi alula athethwa nguMama uElvira. Ekuqaleni kohambo loluntu ndihlupheke kakhulu ngenxa yekratshi lam, andifuni kuyamkela into yokusilela.
Ngenye ingokuhlwa, kubuhlobo base-Ugljane, emva kokuthetha ubuxoki obuninzi ngobomi bam bangaphambili ukuba bujongeka ngendlela obuyiyo, ngeentlungu ndiye ndaqonda ukuba kubi kanjani ukungena egazini lam, ukuhlala iminyaka emininzi kwilizwe leziyobisi. Ndifikelele kwinqanaba lokuba ndingazi nokuba ndithetha inyani na xa ndixoka! Okwesihlandlo sokuqala ebomini bam, nangona kwakunzima, ndithoba ikratshi, ndacela uxolo kubazalwane kwaye kwangoko emva koko ndaziva ndinoyolo olukhulu ngokuzikhulula ebubini. Abanye zange bandigwebe, ngapha koko, bandithanda nangakumbi; Ndaziva "ndilambile" ngenxa yala mzuzu wenkululeko kunye nawokuphiliswa kwaye ndaqala ukuvuka ebusuku ukuba ndithandaze, ndicele uYesu amandla okuzoyisa uloyiko lwam, kodwa ngaphezu kwayo yonke loo nto andinike isibindi sokwabelana nentlupheko yam nabanye, iimvakalelo zam kunye neemvakalelo zam. Phambi kokuba kuYesu uMthendeleko Inyaniso yaqala indlela yayo ngaphakathi kum: umnqweno onzulu wokungafani, ukuba ngumhlobo kaYesu. Namhlanje ndifumanise ukuba sisikhulu kangakanani kwaye sisipho kangakanani isipho sokwenyani, esihle, esicocekileyo, esidlangalaleni; Ndilwile ukuze ndikwazi ukwamkela abazalwana njengoko babenjalo, kunye neentsilelo zabo, ukubamkela ngoxolo kwaye ubaxolele. Ubusuku ngabunye ndiyabuza kwaye ndicela uYesu ukuba andifundise ukuthanda ngendlela athanda ngayo.
Ndichithe iminyaka emininzi kuluntu lwaseLivorno, eTuscany, phaya, kuloo ndlu, ndafumana ithuba lokudibana noYesu kaninzi kwaye ndizijula kulwazi lwam. Ngeli xesha, nangaphezulu, ndiye ndahlupheka kakhulu: abantakwethu, abazala bam, abahlobo bam babesemfazweni, ndaziva ndinetyala ngayo yonke into endiyenzileyo kusapho lwam, kuko konke ukubandezeleka okubangelwa, ngenxa yokuba bendisendaweni yoluntu kunye bona emfazweni. Ngapha koko, umama wagula ngelo xesha wandicela ukuba ndigoduke. Yayilukhetho olwalilwelwe kanzima, ndiyayazi into eyenzekayo kumama, kodwa kwangaxeshanye ndandisazi ukuba ukuphuma kwabahlali kuyakuba ngumngcipheko kum, kwakusekuqaleni kakhulu kwaye ndizakuba ngumthwalo onzima kubazali bam. Ndithandaze ubusuku bonke, ndacela eNkosini ukuba yenze umama aqonde ukuba andingobakhe kuphela, kodwa namakhwenkwe endandihlala nawo. INkosi yenze lo mmangaliso, umama wayeqonda kwaye namhlanje yena nosapho lwam lonke bonwabile kukhetho lwam.
Emva kweminyaka emine yoluntu, lalifikile ixesha lokuba ndenze isigqibo ngobomi bam. Ndaziva ndithandwa ngakumbi nguThixo, nangobomi, noluntu, nabafana endabelana nabo imihla yam. Ekuqaleni, bendicinga ngokufunda ubuchwephesha beengqondo, kodwa xa ndisondela kwezi zifundo, kokukhona uloyiko lwam luye landa, kufuneka ndiye kwisiseko, kubomi obunyanzelekileyo. Ndagqiba kwelokuba ke, ukuba ndifundele ubufundisi, lonke uloyiko lwam lwanyamalala, ndaziva ndibulela kakhulu kubahlali, kuThixo ngalo lonke ixesha lokudibana kwam, nokundikhulula ekufeni kwaye wandikhulisa, ngokundicoca, ngokundenza ndinxibe iimpahla zepati. Ukuqhubeka kwam nezifundo zam, kokukhona umnxeba wam ubonakala ngokucacileyo, womelele, uneengcambu kum: bendifuna ukuba ngumfundisi! Ndifuna ukunikela ubomi bam kwiNkosi, ukuba ndikhonze iBandla elikwi-Upper Igumbi loLuntu, ukunceda abafana. NgoJulayi 17, 2004, ndamiselwa njengomfundisi.
Umthombo: http://www.comunitacenacolo.it/