Kuba ndifuna ukuba sisisitokisi
Ndiyi-novice ngokuchasene noko: kule nyanga ndingena kwi-monastery yeTrappist. Ayisiyo into amaKatolika ava ngayo rhoqo, nangona ukubizelwa kwimimandla yezezimali engakhange inciphe kakhulu njengabantu abasebenzayo. Ndicinga ukuba ndibhala ngoku, ngaphambi kokuba ndiye kwi-cloister, kuba kanye xa umgqatswa efika kwinqanaba lokucela imvume yokungena, unethemba lokungahambi. Kwaye ke ndingathanda ukubulisa umhlaba.
Musa ukungaqondi kakuhle. Andilibaleki ilizwe kuba ndilithiyile ihlabathi nayo yonke into ekulo. Ngokuchasene noko, ilizwe belilunge kakhulu kum. Ndakhula kakuhle, ndandonwabile kwaye ndingakhathali ebuntwaneni, kwaye kwelinye ixesha bendinokuba yinyani yokwenyani.
Ngexesha lesikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, ndafaka isicelo sokwamkelwa eHarvard, Yale, ePrinceton nakwezinye iiyunivesithi ezine eziphambili kwilizwe kwaye kulindeleke ukuba ndingene kuzo zonke. Ndiyenzile. Ndaya kuYale. Ndabalelwa kwezona zibalaseleyo nezona zaqaqamba. Into eyayisekhona.
Yayiyinto yokholo leyo. Ndaba ngumKristu ehlotyeni ngaphambi konyaka wam ophakamileyo kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, kodwa kwada kwaba ngunyaka wam ophakamileyo ekholejini ndade ekugqibeleni ndabuyela ekhaya kwiCawa yamaKatolika. Ndangqinwa ukuba ndingumRoma Katolika ngomhla wam wamashumi amabini ananye, owafa ngeCawa yesine yePasika, ngo-21.
Ndibona umnqweno wam wokuba ngumfanekiso-ngqondweni, osoloko uzijula kule minyaka mibini idlulileyo, njengokuqhubeka kwembizo efanayo: ukuba ngumlandeli kaYesu, ube nguThixo kuphela.Kumvumela ukuba enze nam njengoko ethanda. Ikwayiloo Nkosi ibizayo.
Ngoku, kutheni ndenze nje oku: ingaba ndimisele iziqinisekiso zam zokuphumelela kwihlabathi endilishiyayo? Ndicinga ukuba ngenxa yeso sizathu esifanayo ukuba uSt.Paul uyaziqhayisa kwincwadi yakhe eya kwabaseFilipi:
Khange ndiphinde ndizihlaziye ezo zinto ndizigqala njengelahleko njengokukhanya kukaKristu. Ndizigqale zonke izinto njengelahleko ekukhanyeni kolwazi oluphezulu lweNkosi yam uYesu Krestu. Ngenxa yakhe ndiphulukene nento yonke; Ndayithatha yonke inkunkuma ukuze uKrestu abe bubutyebi bam kwaye nam ndikwazi ukuba kuye. " (3: 7-9)
Abo bacinga ukuba nabani na onobungakanani obufanelekileyo bobukrelekrele usenokungafuni ukungena kumzi woonongendi kufuneka bacinge kwakhona. Ayisiyokuba ndifuna ukubaleka kwihlabathi ngokungathi ndifuna ukubaleka ndisiya kwenye into. Ndikholelwe, kunye noPawulos, ukuba nguYesu Krestu kuphela obalulekileyo. Ayikho enye into enomsebenzi.
Kwaye, kwakhona, ndenze isicelo sokwamkelwa kuhlobo olwahlukileyo lweziko. Ndiyenzile ndinenkolo yokuba andinakwenza enye into. Ndibona inyani malunga nokufa kunye novuko, isono kunye noxolelo- kwaye kum ubomi bobuhedeni buphila ngcono kwivangeli.
Ndikho ukuze ndazi, ndimthande kwaye ndimkhonze uThixo, ubuhlwempu, ubunyulu kunye nokuthobela zizinto ezintle, hayi izifungo ezilula ezivela ekubeni ngunongendi. Kulungile ukuphila ngokulula, ukulungelelanisa amahlwempu njengoko wenzayo uYesu.Kulungile ukuthanda uThixo kangangokuba nokungabikho kwakhe kukhetha ubukho bomnye umntu. Kuhle ukufunda ukuyeka ukuthanda kwabo, mhlawumbi oko banamathele kakhulu kubo, njengoko uYesu wenzayo egadini.
Konke oku kwenza ubomi beemonki babonakale benyanisekile kwaye bethandana. Akukho nto yothando malunga nokuvuka ngo-3: 15 ekuseni ukuze ulinde. Ndiyenzile iveki ekuphumeni kwaye bendizibuza ukuba ndingayenza njani kule minyaka ingama-50 izayo.
Akukho nto yothando malunga nokuyeka inyama: Ndiyayithanda ipepperoni pizza kunye nepancetta. Akukho nto yothando ngokungakwazi ukubhalela abahlobo bam nokwazi ukuba usapho lwam luvumelekile, kodwa ziintsuku ezintlanu ngonyaka kunye nam.
Kodwa yonke yinxalenye yobomi bodwa kunye nokuthula, umthandazo kunye nezohlwayo, kwaye ndiyayifuna. Ngaba indlela yokuphila ihluke mpela kuleyo abantu badibana nayo "kwihlabathi lokwenyani"?
Abazali bavuka ngentsimbi ye-3 kusasa ukuze bafudumeze ibhotile okanye banakekele abantwana abagulayo. Abo bangenako ukhuseleko lomsebenzi abanako ukuthenga inyama. Abo iimeko zabo (ukuba zingabhubhi) zibenza bahlukane nosapho kunye nabahlobo bayazi ukuba ukwahlukana kunzima. Zonke ngaphandle kokufumana inzuzo yokujonga inkolo kunye nenkolo.
Mhlawumbi uThixo usonga ubizo lomntu kwiiphakheji ezahlukeneyo.
Nantso ingongoma yam. Oku ayenzelwanga ukuba ibe kukuxolisa nje ngobizo lwam (olubonakala luyi-monastic). Ngokungafaniyo noThomas Merton okanye uSt.Paul okanye abanye abantu abaninzi abaguqukileyo abaguqukileyo, andinawo umngcipheko omkhulu, andinawo amava okuguqula okungaboniyo, akukho tshintsho olukhulu kwindlela yokuphila okanye isimilo.
Mhla ndabona uYesu njengeNkosi ndandihleli elityeni ndibheke echibini. Njengobungqina bokuba uThixo wayivile into yokuba ndiyakholelwa kuNyana wakhe, isiqingatha sam sasilindele iindudumo nemibane emanzini. Kwakungekho nanye. Kubekho indudumo encinci kunye nemibane ebomini bam.
Ndandisele ndingumntwana olungileyo. Ngaba kufanele ukuba kumangalise ukuba ndikhangele eyona nto ilungileyo, uThixo ngokwaKhe? AmaKristu ahlala esiva kuphela ngenguquko engaqhelekanga, egqibeleleyo, yokugabadela kwabangcwele. Oku kuye kuthabathe kude kwishishini eliqhelekileyo lokulunga, lokulandela uYesu.
Kodwa uThixo usebenza ngokuchanekileyo ngokwesiqhelo. IVangeli ibiza amakholwa kubomi benguquko eqhubekayo (njengoko iiTrappists zisitsho, incoko yokuziphatha). Ukuguqulwa kwesiqhelo. Ukuguqulwa kwesiqhelo. Inguquko nangona kwaye ngenxa yesiqhelo. Ubomi bokholo kufuneka buphile entliziyweni yomntu, nokuba uphi na loo mntu.
Yonke imihla lithuba lokuphinda ubone uThixo, ukubona uThixo kwabanye nakwiimeko zabantu (kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ezingahambelani nenkolo) apho abantu bazifumana bekhona.
Ukuba ngumKristu kuthetha ukuba ngumntu wokuqala. Njengokuba u-Irenaeus oNgcwele wathi, “uGloria Dei vivens homo”, ubuqaqawuli bukaThixo ngumntu ophilayo ngokupheleleyo. AmaKristu akufuneki achithe ixesha elininzi ezama ukufumanisa ukuba "banalo ubizo" na, ngokungathi yinto yemfuza okanye into efihliweyo emva kwendlebe yasekhohlo. Onke amaKristu anobizo: ukuba ngumntu ngokupheleleyo, ukuze aphile ngokupheleleyo.
Nandipha ubomi, yiba ngumntu, yiba nokholo kwaye oku kuyakutyhila uThixo nobuqaqawuli bukaThixo, obuzama zonke i-monks okanye oonongendi.
Umhla wokungena kwam ngoMeyi 31, umthendeleko woTyelelo, umthendeleko wokuzisa uYesu kwabanye. Kukho indida kule nto, yokuba kwitheko lokuphuma ndisiya kwabanye kufuneka ndingene, kubonakala ngathi kude nabanye. Kodwa into exakayo kukuba ngokungena kwi-cloister ndisondele kakhulu kwabanye ngenxa yemfihlakalo yamandla omthandazo. Ngandlela thile umthandazo wam kunye nomthandazo woodade wethu beTrappist bayakuzisa uYesu kwabanye.
Ukucamngca, emva kwako konke, kushiya umhlaba kuphela ukuthandazela okungcono. Ndicela imithandazo yakho kwaye ndiyakuthembisa.