Wathini uSanta Teresa emva kombono wesihogo
USaint Teresa waseAvila, owayengomnye wababhali abaphambili benkulungwane yakhe, wayefumene kuThixo, embonweni, ilungelo lokuhla aye esihogweni ngoxa wayesaphila. Le yindlela achaza ngayo kwi-"Autobiography" yakhe into awayibonayo kwaye wayiva enzonzobileni yesihogo.
“Ukuzifumana kwam ngenye imini ndithandaza, ngesiquphe ndasiwa umzimba nomphefumlo esihogweni. Ndandiqonda ukuba uThixo ufuna ndibone indawo endiyilungiselelwe ziidemon kwaye ndizofanelwa zizono endizowela kuzo ukuba andizukutshintsha ubomi bam. Kuba mingaphi iminyaka endiza kuphila andinakuze ndiyilibale imo yesihogo.
Ukungena kule ndawo yokuhlushwa kubonakala kum ngathi luhlobo lwe-oveni, liphantsi kwaye limnyama. Umhlaba wawungeyonto ngaphandle kodaka oloyikekayo, luzele zizirhubuluzi ezinetyhefu, kwaye kwakukho ivumba elinganyamezelekiyo.
Ndeva umlilo emphefumlweni wam, apho kungekho magama anokuchaza indalo kunye nomzimba wam kwangaxeshanye lixhoba lezona ntlungu zibuhlungu. Iintlungu endandisele ndizivile ebomini bam azinakuthelekiswa nezo ndandiziva esihogweni. Ngapha koko, umbono wokuba iintlungu ziya kuhlala zingenasiphelo kwaye ngaphandle koncedo ugqibezele uloyiko.
Kodwa ezi ntlungu zomzimba azifani nezomphefumlo. Ndaziva ndikhathazekile, ndikhathazekile entliziyweni yam, kwangaxeshanye, ndinxunguphele kwaye ndibuhlungu kabuhlungu, ukuba ndizame ilize ukuyichaza. Ndisithi kuwo wonke umzuzu ufumana ubunzima bokufa, ndingathethi kancinci.
Andisokuze ndikwazi ukufumana intetho efanelekileyo yokunika umbono walo mlilo wangaphakathi kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba, okuyindawo eyiyo yesihogo.
Lonke ithemba lokuthuthuzelwa licinywe kuloo ndawo yoyikekayo; umntu uphefumla umoya oyindyikitya yokufa: umntu uziva exinekile. Akukho kukhanya kokukhanya: akukho nto ngaphandle kobumnyama ukanti, oh imfihlakalo, ngaphandle kokukhanya okukhanyayo, sibona into enezothe ngakumbi kwaye ibuhlungu kumbono.
Ndiyakuqinisekisa ukuba yonke into enokuthethwa ngesihogo, into esiyifundayo kwiincwadi zentuthumbo ezahlukeneyo kunye nokungcungcuthekiswa ziidemon ezenza ukuba abo babandezelekileyo bahlupheke, ayonto xa ithelekiswa nenyani; Kukho umahluko ofanayo phakathi komfanekiso womntu nomntu ngokwakhe.
Ukutsha kweli lizwe kuncinci kakhulu xa kuthelekiswa naloo mlilo ndiwuva esihogweni.
Malunga neminyaka emithandathu sele idlulile okokhenketho oloyikisayo esihogweni kwaye nam, ndiluchaza, ndiziva ndibanjiswe luloyiko kangangokuba igazi lam liyaqina emithanjeni yam. Phakathi kwezilingo neentlungu zam ndihlala ndikhumbula le nkumbulo kwaye emva koko umntu angabandezeleka kangakanani kweli hlabathi kubonakala ngathi kuyahlekisa.
Sikelela ngonaphakade, Owu Thixo wam, kuba undenze ndabona isihogo ngeyona ndlela, ngoko ke undinika uloyiko olunzulu ngayo yonke into enokukhokelela kuyo. "