Amanyathelo amathathu ekukhuliseni umntwana ezele lukholo

Ayilunganga, kodwa ngenxa yokuphoxeka ebomini ekufuneka sikhuthaze ukucinga ngokomoya kwabantwana.

Kutshanje umhlobo wam uthumele kwiqela le-Facebook loomama ukuba ukhathazekile ngonyana wakhe evakalisa uthando olunyanisekileyo ngoThixo, impendulo eyamenza wabandezeleka. "Ndinqwenela ukuba ndiyonwabele kwaye ndingaziva olu lusizi lungaqhelekanga," utshilo.

Ndithathele ingqalelo ngokufutshane ihlaya: "Le nto ikwi-brand yakho". Umhlobo wam, okoko bendimazi, unengxaki yokuba athethe njani nabantwana bakhe ngemicimbi yokholo. Andizukumbiza ngokuba ngumgxeki, kuba kukuqonda kwakhe ukuba umhlaba unokulunga kangakanani kwaye kufanele ukuba ube yintoni eyenza ukuba ukuqonda okungalunganga kukhathaze.

Umhlobo wam akayedwa. Unxunguphalo oluvakala ngabazali malunga nempumelelo ezayo yabantwana babo, ulwazi lwabo olukhulayo ngayo yonke into ebuhlungu, engalunganga kunye nobundlobongela, ibuhlungu. Ngokukhawuleza, abanye bangenelela, phantse banqwala iintloko bevuma. Njengokuba ukukhula kweengcinga zokomoya zabantwana babo kwakukhula, amaxhala kunye nosizi lwabazali babo ngenxa yokuphoxeka okungaphephekiyo okuza kubakho kwihlabathi kwakuyinto encinci.

UClaire, umama wabantwana ababini uthi: "Kwelinye icala, ndiyayithanda inkqubela yonyana wam njengoko imnika ikhampasi yokuziphatha kwaye, ndiyathemba ukuba imenza azive ekhuselekile kwaye ethandwa." "Nangona kunjalo, andinakukunceda kodwa ndizikhathaze ngendlela endiza kuthetha ngayo naye xa endibuza imibuzo enzima malunga nendlela endiziva ngayo ngecawa, ephikisanayo ukuyithetha."

Andigqibelelanga. Unyana wam uneminyaka emihlanu kuphela ubudala. Kodwa ngomthandazo wam kunye nezinto zam zokomoya, ndiye ndalandela iindlela ezintathu kumzamo we-bittersweet wokukhulisa umntwana ezele lukholo.

Ubudala bumsulwa?
Andizami ukukhusela ubumsulwa bonyana wam. Oku kunokubonakala ngathi kuyaphikisana nabanye abazali, kodwa kumava am ukwenza yonke into ukumkhusela kwizinto ezikhohlakeleyo zehlabathi kuphela kwenza amaxhala am, kunye naye, abe mandundu. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, abantwana bethu baqhuba ukubhola kwamanqaku okusebenza kwezikolo zamabanga aphantsi. Bafuna ukwazi ukuba kutheni. Kodwa bafuna isiqinisekiso sethu sokuba siya kwenza konke okusemandleni ukubakhusela.

Ngokukwanjalo, xa abazali abamhlophe abakumgangatho ophakathi womntwana omhlophe oyindoda (AKA usapho lwam) bephepha iincoko ezinzima malunga nesini kunye nobuhlanga, ezona zenzo zenkohlakalo zigqugqisileyo kunye nokungabikho kokusesikweni okusokolayo kwihlabathi lethu, sikwenza oko ngelungelo. Oku kuthethwe kusapho lwam kutsha nje ukusuka kwikhosi yeeveki ezisixhenxe umyeni wam waqala ukuthetha nabantwana ngobuhlanga. Ikhosi, ebibanjwe yicawa ekufuphi ye-episcopal, ekhokelwa ngabazali abamhlophe ngokwenyani yendlela esingazi ngayo ukuhlakulela ubuhlanga kubantwana abancinci xa sicinga ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo kuthi-ukuba amapolisa ahlala ekhona ukunceda uluntu lwethu, umzekelo- akusoloko kuyinto eqhelekileyo kuluntu ngombala.

Ewe ndinendlela efanelekileyo yokufumana incoko enzima nonyana wam. Ndikwacinga ukuba singayityhala imida kancinci kwinto esiyithatha njenge "kufanelekile ngokweminyaka" kwaye sinike abantwana, nditsho nabantwana abancinci, izibonelelo ezingaphezulu kokungathandabuzeki.

U-Lyz uthi uzama ukuba kwangoko ngokukhawuleza kunye nabantwana bakhe ababini, bobabini abangaphantsi kwe-10. Bancinci kakhulu, ke incoko iyaqhubeka, kodwa ndiyayithanda le mizuzu yokubuza kunye nokufunda, nokuba bayandibuza, ”utshilo.

Una storiahambisana kulungile
Esinye sezizathu sokuba mna nomyeni wam sigqibe kwelokuba sibhaptize unyana wethu kungenxa yokuba imbali yobuKristu yayingelilo nje ibali esakhuliswa nalo, kodwa ikwakhona esikholelwa ukuba ingcwele kwaye igcwele inyani. Isikhumbuza ukuba, ewe, umhlaba unokoyikeka kwaye wenze izinto ezimbi, kodwa ezo zinto zoyikekayo azinalo ilizwi lokugqibela.

Umhlobo wam uLila, ongenabantwana, ungumYuda ngokwenkcubeko kodwa wakhuliswa ngabazali ababecinga ukuba uyakuyiqonda eyedwa into ayikholelwayo. Kuyancomeka, bebengafuni ukunyanzela ukholo kuye. Bakholelwa ekubeni kubalulekile ukuba afumane iimpendulo ngokukhetha olwakhe uphando. Ingxaki, wandixelela uLila, kukuba akananto anokusebenza nayo. Ejongene nale ntlekele, wayengenazo izifundo zonqulo awayexhomekeke kuzo. Wayengenayo nantoni na eyalayo, eya kuthi ke imkhombe kwelinye icala njengoko wayefuna iimpendulo kunye nentuthuzelo.

"Ndifuna abantwana bam bafumane iimpendulo zabo," kusho uLyz. “Kwaye ndifuna ukuba bafike apho ngokwabo. Kodwa kunzima xa bebancinci kwaye yonke into imnyama kwaye imhlophe kubo, kodwa ukholo lumnyama kakhulu. “Yiyo loo nto esisa abantwana bakhe ecaweni kwaye athembise imibuzo yabo ngokungafihlisiyo nangokunyaniseka.

Yekela ihambe
Ngamaxesha athile bonke abazali, nokuba bakhulisa abantwana kwisithethe senkolo, kuya kufuneka bayeke. Siqala ngokuzivumela ukuba basuke kweli xesha leentsana, bavumela abantwana bethu ukuba babe nenkululeko yokuzikhethela ebomini babo. Inkwenkwana eneminyaka emi-6 iyazikhethela kwaye ivule izitya zayo emva kwesikolo. Uneminyaka elishumi elinesithathu ukhetha izihlangu afuna ukuzithenga ngosuku lokuqala lwesikolo. Uneminyaka elishumi elinesixhenxe uzikhokela kwibhola ekhatywayo.

Ukwamkela indlela efanayo yokwakheka ngokomoya kwabantwana ngendlela efanayo kuvumela abazali ukuba bayeke bathembele kubantwana babo. Kodwa kanye njengoko ndingalindelanga ukuba unyana wam azi indlela yokuvula ibhegi yeencwadi zegolide, ngaphandle kwam ndimbonisa indlela, andinakulindela ukuba azi ukuba athandaze njani.

"Bendihlala ndizamazamana kakhulu nokholo kwaye bendihlala ndinomona ngabahlobo kunye nosapho ababenenkolelo elula," utshilo uCynthia, onokholo lonyana wakhe olufana nebali elihlekisayo, elizaliswe ngabantu abangalunganga, "abafana abalungileyo" kunye namandla amakhulu. "Ndiyayilahla le ndlela aqonda ngayo uThixo. Ke andifuni kuyityhafisa [inkolo yakhe], kodwa ndifuna ukudimaza ukuqonda kwakhe kwangoku." Uthi unoloyiko lokuba njengoko unyana wakhe esiya esiba mdala le ndlela yokholo iza kumenza adane, okanye mandundu, izakumkhathaza.

Njengabazali, umsebenzi wethu kukukhusela abantwana bethu kungekuphela emzimbeni kodwa nakwimvakalelo nangokomoya. Kungenxa yeso sizathu sokuba kufuneke ukuyeka kube nzima Siyawakhumbula amanxeba ethu kwaye sifuna ukuthintela loo manxeba afanayo ukuba angawi ngoonyana neentombi zethu.

Umhlobo ofanayo othumele kuFacebook, xa ndandimcela ukuba andixelele ngakumbi ngamaxhala akhe, wabonisa ukuba yile nto kanye emenza ukuba ahlupheke ngonyana wakhe. Sisikhumbuzo sakhe sentlungu yasemoyeni eyandisa ixhala. Nangona kunjalo, wandixelela, "Ndimele ndikhumbule ukuba uhambo lwakho lokholo kunye nolwam aluyi kuba lunye. Ke ndinqwenela ukuba ndiyeke ukukhathazeka ngoku ndize ndifike khona