UMFANEKISO: EMedjugorje ephoswe kwihashe lakhe… wabona iNkosi yakhe
UMFANEKISO: EMedjugorje ephoswe kwihashe lakhe… wabona iNkosi yakhe
Iminyaka engama-22 ubudala: ubuso obumnandi kakhulu, ngoku bonke bayancuma, bafihla ibali elibuhlungu kakhulu. Ngokusuka kwinkcazelo ekrwada andinika yona “ngobomi bakhe beedemon” ufuna ukuzisa ubukhulu benceba athe uThixo wayisebenzisa kuye, njengomzekelo kubo bonke umonde wakhe olindele aboni (1 Tim 1).
Uza kukuxelela ngokufutshane indlela awandikhupha ngayo uThixo ehasheni lam endleleni eya eDamasko, wandikhokelela ebuguquleni ubomi bam. Andizange ndiyintombazana enyulu, ehlala efumana isono. Andizange ndifundiswe ngutata, ngaphezu kweshumi elinesithandathu, ngaphandle kwayo, ndazinikela kwiqabane lakhe. Emva koko nge-17 ukuqhomfa. Nge-18 ndemka ekhaya ndaya kusebenza eMilan kwifashoni. Kwaye apho, ekubeni ndiyintombazana entle, ndangena kwisangqa sabantu abazizityebi, ndaye ndazi izangqa ezithile kwaye, ndinqwenela ukuba ngumntu kumabonwakude nakumaphepha-ndaba, ndaqala ukuhlala phakathi kwabona bazizityebi eItali. Kodwa ukungabikho komsebenzi, ngenxa yokhuphiswano, nokufuna imali kwandenza ndacela imali kutata. Impendulo yodwa: "Ukuba ufuna ukuziva ulungile kufuneka ubuye nam!".
Ndathi: Hayi! Ingqondo ejijekileyo, ezaliswe lububi kuphela, yakhula ngakumbi nangakumbi kum. Isidingo semali sandenza ndaphupha ukudibana ne-billionaire-amantombazana amaninzi aye- ukuba abe yinkosikazi yakhe kwaye anelise yonke iminqweno yam yokuzimela kubawo: oku kuya kuba-ulonwabo lwam.
Umhlobo wam wandinceda ndajoyina i-billionaire ring yaseYurophu. Ndaqala ndathengisa ngomzimba nomntu, ndaqala nda sweet ndagqiba ndazimisela ukuba andixhaphaze nokuba andikho estratweni. Ndaqala ngokuthi: xa ndisenza imali, iya kuyeka. Kodwa okukhona ndifumana imali eninzi, kokukhona ndichitha imali eninzi, kwaye kokukhona ndandifuna ukuba phakathi kwabantu abakumgangatho ophezulu. Ndandincomeka, bandithatha apha naphaya, kodwa ngokuya bengonwabanga ngenxa yokuba ndandinobuntununtunu, ndandifuna ukuthandwa: endaweni yoko, kuphela indawo emnyama, emnyama, ndaza ndaziphosa kwicocaine nasetywaleni de ndaba neminyaka eli-19 ubudala.
Ndachitha ubusuku namadoda azizityebi kakhulu, ngakumbi nangakumbi kwihenyukazi, ndivuka ngo-1 okanye 2 emva kwemini, ndidiniwe. Ndigalelwe zipilisi zokulala, ndaqhubeka ndisela, ndandingenalo uthando, inkohlakalo yayindijikele. Ngoko ke ndatshabalalisa yonke into yomntu kum, nayo yonke intombazana eyayihamba nam.
Ngoko ukuya kutsho kwiminyaka eli-19 enesiqingatha, ubomi bam babulusizi. Kulapho ndadibana khona nendoda ye-billionaire, endihlala nayo kwaze kwaba yinyanga ezimbini ezidlulileyo. Ngenxa yoko ndayeka ukuhenyuza, kodwa ndisachitha ubusuku namadoda azizityebi kakhulu ehlabathini lonke. Ngaphandle kwaloo ndoda, ndisabona ababini okanye abathathu kubo, ababuyisela ngezipho, amatye anqabileyo, iimpahla. Kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha kwenzeka kum, ukutshatyalaliswa okupheleleyo kwenzeka kum, kokubili kwengqondo kunye nomzimba, ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba ndibeke imaski kwaye, ndizazise kuloo nxalenye, ndakwazi ukuzoyisa, ukusela kakhulu.
Kulo nyaka uphelileyo bendisenezi-4 zokwenyani… uthando, kodwa olunye emva komnye lwaphela, ndaye ndawa ndilusizi, ndidanile, ndingcungcutheka de ndazama ukuzibulala izihlandlo ezininzi. Ndathi: “UThixo undicaphukisile ngokundikhupha kubuhenyu. Ngoku ndandikhangela ihex enobubele yokutshintsha umntu wam, owayephambene kancinci; kodwa andizange ndiyeke ukubhenela koosiyazi, imidlalo yamakhadi, njl., ukuze ndifumanise ukuba ubomi bundiphathele ntoni na, kuba emazantsi entliziyo ndandiphupha ngokudibana nendoda enyulu ukuze sitshate sibe nabantwana abayi-5 okanye aba-6 sihlale eSikoleni. ilizwe. Ndandisondelelene nenye intombazana eyathi nangona ndandikwezi zihlangu zam, yandenzela ububele obungaphele ndawo, kodwa ndandiyiphethe kakubi, ndandisisilo.
Lilonke iminyaka emi-3 ubomi bam bebunobudemon.
Isiqu sam ndandingasekho. Ndandithanda iintlobano zesini, imali yaye ndiphila phakathi kwamatheko neziyobisi. Ndandinayo yonke into yaye ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na intombi eyayinokuphupha ngayo. Wonke umnqweno wam wazaliseka, kodwa ubomi bam babungenanto kwaye ndifile. Ndabonakala ndingoyena unethamsanqa, endaweni yoko ndandingoyena uphelelwe lithemba. Emehlweni abanye ndandikrelekrele kwaye ndiphumelele: eneneni yonke into yayiyintsomi. Ndandidakumbi yaye ndingonwabanga. Ngaloo ndlela ihlabathi liyabatshabalalisa abanquli balo.
Iminyaka engama-21. Kangangonyaka ngoku ndiqalile ukuva umnxeba waseMedjugorje: bekukho uMama endibiza apho. Isigqibo sasiyi-documentary yeTV ebonwe kwiinyanga ezi-6 ezidlulileyo, eyandichukumisa kakhulu. Ndazicingela: nam izofika nini imini yam? Ndifumene imithandazo emi-3 okanye emi-4 evela eMedjugorje kwincwadi ethengwe kwisikhululo seendaba, kwaye ndaziva ndinesidingo esinamandla kunam sokuyicengceleza, nokuba ndibuye nge-2 okanye 3 ekuseni. Ke kwiinyanga ezi-4 ezidlulileyo ndaxabana nomntu wam, emva koko nomnye, emva koko nomhlobo wam osenyongweni: ndibathumele esihogweni bonke. WayenguMntu owandisusa ngokuthe ngcembe kwixesha elidlulileyo: Ndaziva ngathi kukho into eguqukayo ngaphakathi kum.
NgoCanzibe ndiye ndathetha emnxebeni kunye nodade ophambanayo ongusisi, endamthandazela eSaint Rita nowathi, waya eMedjugorje, waphiliswa ngokupheleleyo. Uye wanyanzelisa: yiya eMedjugorje, kodwa ngaphakathi kum ilizwi liyaphinda: ayikabi lixesha lakho. Ndaye ndaqinisekisa umntu endimthandayo kwizihlangu zam ezifanayo ukuba aye eMedjugorje: waqala wahleka ebusweni bam, kodwa emva koko, wahamba, wabuya ekhangeleka okwengelosi: wathandaza, wakhala, ethanda uThixo kwaye wahlukana nalo lonke ulonwabo. Ndaziva ngathi nam liyeza ixesha lam. Ndandizila ukutya kanye ngeveki. Kodwa zingaphi izithintelo ukuya ekugqibeleni andikwazi ukufumana isihlalo kwinqwelomoya, ndibanjwe ngamathandabuzo malunga nesiphumo: ndingenza njani ukuhlukana nemikhwa yam? Ngorhatya olungaphambi kokuba ndihambe, ndahamba nabahlobo bam ndaza, ndicinga ukuba ndenza izono zam zokugqibela ezinzulu. Ekugqibeleni ndiyahamba kwaye eSplit ndidibana neqela labantu abatsha abamangalisayo. Ukufika eMedjugorje ebusuku. I 3days ndihlala apho ndingatyi, ndingalali, ngoba akhonto isandinika umdla kwezi zinto.
Ngentsasa ye-25 kaJulayi.
Andikhumbuli ukuba nini kanye kanye, ndaqala ukungena kwimincili yengqondo nentliziyo: ndandisondele kuThixo, kule mizuzu engama-20 uThixo wandinika ubabalo lokuluva uthando lwakhe ( uyashukunyiswa elukhumbula) wandenza ndalubona kwaye uzive ngendlela yakhe. Oko ndandiziva ngoko andizange ndiphinde ndizive kwakhona, kodwa kwakwanele ukuba ndibugqibe ubomi bam ngaphambili kwaye ndihlwempuzeke ngokwenene. Ndanikela ngayo yonke into: igolide kunye nemali kwaye ndashiyeka ndingenanto. Nxiba kakuhle, wenze, ube mhle, ukuzonwabisa, abahlobo, ihlabathi ngelizwi endicinga ukuba lihle: yonke into ngokukhawuleza yashiya ubomi bam. Yayingasekho.
Kule mizuzu engama-20 ndiye ndaziva ukuba ubomi bam kufuneka bube kuKristu kuphela kuThixo kunye neNenekazi lethu. Undithathe wandibeka ezandleni zika Fr Jozo, wandivuma wandenza ndabuva kubumnandi bakhe ukuba nguYesu ondixoleleyo. Emva kweveki ndabuyela eMedjugorje ukuze ndichithe ixesha apho. Andiyi kuthetha ubabalo endilufumeneyo ngezo ntsuku, ngaphezu kwalo lonke uthando olukhulu lomthandazo, olwaba kukudibana kokwenyani noYesu noMama wakhe, kunye nomnqweno wokuzahlulela ngokupheleleyo wazalwa kancinci kum.
Emuva eMilan, nguYesu ngoku ondikhokelayo naphi na apho athanda khona, ekuhlaleni nakumaqela omthandazo. Ndihlala ndisiva uYesu nothando lwakhe ndide ndigule. Ngaphandle komthandazo bendingasakwazi ukuphila neyure yonke. Uthando lwam ngoYesu lukhula mihla le. Andicingi ngekamva, kodwa ndihlala ndicela ukuzincama kuye.Usathana akayeki ukundihenda ngendlela eqatha kakhulu: hayi ukundenza ndibuyele kubomi bam bangaphambili, kodwa ndinqwenela, ngezinto ezincinci, ezindilingayo. kodwa zinkulu, ukuba zinde kude nobizo lwam. Ngamanye amaxesha ndichitha iiyure ezimbini okanye ezintathu zamathandabuzo kunye namaxhala: ukutshata kwaye ube nabantwana? Kodwa emva kokuba ndenze imithandazo embalwa, ndiziva ndithandwa kakhulu kwaye ndizixelela ukuba "akukho nto, nabantwana okanye umyeni, onokundinika uthando olufanayo".
X, ngoSeptemba 24, 1987
Umthombo: I-Echo yaseMedjugorje nombolo 45