The main traits of true Christian friends

Friends come, the
friends go,
but a true friend is there to see you grow.

This poem conveys the idea of ​​lasting friendship with perfect simplicity, which is the foundation of the three types of Christian friends.

Types of Christian friendship
Mentoring friendship: the first form of Christian friendship is a tutoring friendship. In a tutoring relationship we teach, recommend or disciple other Christian friends. This is a ministry-based relationship, similar to the type Jesus had with his disciples.

Friendship Mentee: in a student friendship, it is we who are educated, advised or discipled. We are at the end of the receiving ministry, served by a mentor. This is similar to the way the disciples received from Jesus.

Mutual friendship: mutual friendships are not based on mentoring. Rather, in these situations, the two individuals are generally more aligned spiritually, balancing the natural flow of giving and receiving between true Christian friends. We will explore each other's friends more closely, but first of all it is important to have a clear understanding of mentoring relationships, so let's not confuse the two.

Mentoring friendships can easily be emptied if both parties do not recognize the nature of the relationship and build adequate boundaries. The mentor may need to retire and take time for spiritual renewal. He may even have to say no at times, placing limits on his commitment to the student.

Likewise, a pupil who expects too much from his mentor is probably looking for a mutual bond with the wrong person. Pupils must respect boundaries and seek close friendship with someone other than a mentor.

We can be both mentor and pupil, but not with the same friend. We may meet a mature believer who guides us in the Word of God, while in turn we take time to guide a new follower of Christ.

Reciprocal friendships are quite different than mentoring friendships. These relationships usually don't happen overnight. Typically, they develop over time as both friends advance in wisdom and spiritual maturity. Strong Christian friendship naturally blossoms when two friends grow together in faith, goodness, knowledge and other divine graces.

Traits of true Christian friends
So what does a true Christian friendship look like? Let's divide it into traits that are easy to identify.

Love sacrifice

John 15:13: The greatest love has none of this, which has left life for its friends. (NIV)

Jesus is the best example of a true Christian friend. His love for us is sacrificial, never selfish. He demonstrated this not only through his healing miracles, but more fully through the humble service of washing the feet of the disciples, and finally when he left his life on the cross.

If we choose our friends based only on what they have to offer, we will rarely discover the blessings of true divine friendship. Philippians 2: 3 says: "Do nothing out of selfish or vain ambition, but in humility consider others better than yourself." By assessing your friend's needs above yours, you will be on your way to love like Jesus. In the process, you will likely get a real friend.

Accept unconditionally

Proverbs 17:17: A friend always loves and a brother is born of adversity. (NIV)

We discover the best of friendships with brothers and sisters who know and accept our weaknesses and imperfections.

If we are easily offended or bitter, we will struggle to make friends. Nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes from time to time. If we take a sincere look at ourselves, we will admit that we have some guilt when things go wrong in a friendship. A good friend is ready to ask for forgiveness and ready to forgive.

He trusts completely

Proverbs 18:24: A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (NIV)

This proverb reveals that a true Christian friend is reliable, indeed, but also underlines a second important truth. We should expect to share complete trust with a few loyal friends. Trusting too easily can lead to ruin, so be careful not to trust a mate. Over time our true Christian friends will demonstrate their reliability by staying closer than a brother or sister.

Maintains healthy boundaries

1 Corinthians 13: 4: love is patient, love is kind. Don't envy ... (NIV)

If you feel suffocated in a friendship, something is wrong. Likewise, if you feel used or abused, something is wrong. Recognizing what's best for someone and giving that person space are signs of a healthy relationship. We should never let a friend stand between us and our spouse. A true Christian friend will wisely avoid getting in the way and recognize your need to maintain other relationships.

It gives mutual modification

Proverbs 27: 6: A friend's wounds can be trusted ... (NIV)

True Christian friends will build each other emotionally, spiritually and physically. Friends like to be together simply because it feels good. We receive strength, encouragement and love. We speak, cry, listen. But sometimes we also have to say the difficult things that our closest friend needs to hear. Because of the shared trust and acceptance, we are the only person who can have an impact on our friend's heart, since we know how to convey the difficult message with truth and grace. I believe this means Proverbs 27:17 when he says: "While iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Since we have looked at these traits of divine friendships, we have probably recognized areas that need some work in our efforts to build stronger bonds. But if you don't have many close friends, don't be too hard on yourself. Remember, true Christian friendships are rare treasures. They take time to cultivate, but in the process, we become more Christians.